Which Southern City Is Your Heart In?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which Southern City Is Your Heart In?
Image: Art Wager/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

The American South has been stereotyped as a place that is highly divided along racial lines, deeply backward in its approach to women's rights, and entirely too hot and sticky for any sane person to want to live there. However, the truth is that despite a very bloody past mired in the shame of slavery of both men and women, and the disenfranchising of even free women, today's South cannot be neatly squashed into a single cartoonishly stereotypical box. As for the weather, it's only unbearable three months out of the year, and they do have air conditioning, you know!

Today, the South is full of places that teem with culture, history and opportunity. From the varied musical traditions of New Orleans and Nashville to the rocket men and women of Cape Canaveral and Houston; from the vibrant theater scene of Atlanta to the weird and wonderful alt scene of Austin; from the farmlands of Oklahoma to the sprawling mega-metropolis of Houston, there's a bit of everything to be had.

So, which state in the Sun Belt holds your heart? Take our quiz and we'll figure out where your place in the sun should be!

How hot do you like it?
100F
Scorching
I don't mind as long as it's not muggy.
Pretty hot

Advertisement

How worried are you about sea level rise?
I don't worry at all!
Somewhat
I don't believe that'll happen.
Very!

Advertisement

Do you like spaceships?
I hate and fear them.
I like them!
I adore them!
I don't feel strongly.

Advertisement

What sort of music floats your boat?
Jazz
A little of this, a little of that
Pop
Country

Advertisement

What kind of house do you want to live in?
Elegant French loft
Sprawling suburban house
Small suburban house
Cool downtown apartment

Advertisement

How urban is your ideal area?
Fairly
It's just suburbs forever.
Mostly
Very

Advertisement

Do you need to be by the sea?
Yes, near is good.
I guess.
I'd live IN the sea if I could!
No thanks, I hate and fear the sea.

Advertisement

How do you feel about the oil industry?
They're evil.
They're wonderful.
They're fine as long as they stay away from me.
I don't feel strongly.

Advertisement

What sort of architecture do you like?
French
Americana
Mostly cinder blocks
Colonial

Advertisement

How important is having plenty of history?
It's essential.
It doesn't hurt but isn't important.
I hate history.
It helps!

Advertisement

What kind of food do you want to eat the most?
Soul food
Tex-Mex
Junk food
Barbecue

Advertisement

How diverse do you like your city, culturally?
100%
Fairly
Somewhat
A little

Advertisement

What sport do you do for fun?
Track and field
Hunting
Surfing
Horseback riding

Advertisement

How do you like to get around?
Bike
Massive truck
Bus
Small truck

Advertisement

What kind of tax do you prefer to pay?
A miniature income tax
None if I can
Property tax please!
A healthy income tax

Advertisement

Do you simply love a nice big river?
I love all bodies of water!
A midsize one is fine.
I prefer lots of swampland.
Yes, a scenic large one is great.

Advertisement

How arid or humid suits you?
Super muggy
A bit muggy
Muggy beyond the telling of it
Ideally not horrifically muggy

Advertisement

How far is too far from the major Northern cities?
1200 miles
1500 miles
1000 miles
800 miles

Advertisement

Do you need to be somewhere very tolerant of people living in less traditional family situations?
Yes, absolutely
No
Not really
More than people realize

Advertisement

Which state would you simply never live in?
Kentucky
California
Oregon
Florida

Advertisement

Do you mind living in a totally predictable electoral situation, where one side is entirely dominant?
I don't like it.
I can deal.
I hate it.
I love it!

Advertisement

What is your idea of all dressed up?
Pants that go below the knee
Full makeup, fabulous gown, hair teased to the skies, huge jewels...
Not-a-bikini
Jeans and my nice shirt

Advertisement

How long do you spend on your looks daily?
20 minutes
60 minutes
30 minutes
10 minutes

Advertisement

What sort of gender balance do you like in your home city?
Fairly balanced
I like a surfeit of women.
I hadn't really thought about it!
I like a surfeit of men.

Advertisement

What will you grow in your yard?
Weed
Cactus
Palm tree
Everything

Advertisement

How big will the people be?
Mostly healthy sizes
Absolutely huge
A mix
Slightly big

Advertisement

How do you feel about hurricanes?
I don't fear them much.
I kinda hate them.
I love them!
I am terrified of them.

Advertisement

How old is old enough for a proper city?
300 years at least
180 years
Anything over 100 years
220 years

Advertisement

What other state would you like to be able to visit easily?
Mississippi
Oklahoma
Georgia
Kentucky

Advertisement

Is your passport currently up to date?
I think so.
Of course
Probably not
Nope

Advertisement

You Got: