Stock a Toy Store and We'll Guess When You'll Have Your First Child

By: Zoe Samuel

Stock a Toy Store and We'll Guess When You'll Have Your First Child
Image: Sky View / DigitalVision / Getty Images

About This Quiz

We all have a favorite toy that we remember from childhood, or possibly a few such toys. Whether we recall playing LEGO with our dads or building a massive Brio train set with our moms, learning to shoot a Super-Soaker with Grandma, cracking the Turing Tumble with our aunt, cuddling a stuffed toy from an uncle or building a model airplane with an older sibling, toys are an essential part of the narrative of our upbringing. The best toys won't necessarily be the most expensive, as it's really all about your imagination and how the other kids and adults in your life engage with you.

This means, of course, that no matter his or her budget or family setup, a toy store can be a veritable smorgasbord of wonder to a child—and how an adult chooses to stock a toy store tells us a lot about how soon and in what way they want to instill wonder in said child. After all, if you're not planning to have children for a while, you'll probably focus on adult-friendly toys like Warhammer and model planes. If, on the other hand, you've been parenting for a few years already, you'll lean toward the categories like "Anything that buys me a little quiet," "Whatever they want" and "Stuff that doesn't rot their brains!" If you're somewhere between the two extremes, you may prefer a mix. Tell us how you'd stock your dream toy store, and we'll figure out when your first baby will be joining us—or if they already have!

Which toy franchise is not permitted in your store?
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, because it attracts strange middle-aged men.
G.I. Joe, because it's violent and imperialistic.
Pokemon, because it's just so darn weird.
Transformers, because Michael Bay has ruined them.

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What music is playing in the room?
Popular Nick Jr. show themes
Classical; it's good for the brain.
Golden oldies
Nursery rhymes, I guess

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What giant display has prominent pride of place?
Massive Warhammer battle on painted background
Massive Brio playset
Massive Playmobil village
Expensive moving model railway

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What is the biggest stuffed toy?
Over 100 pounds
About 20 pounds
10 pounds
Over 200 pounds

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Do you have a place for the kids to play with toys in-store?
Yes, and also a space for moms to sit.
Yes, and it includes space for parents to play with them.
No, that takes away space from stocking more things to sell!
Yes, it encourage sales.

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Do you have a few mobiles to choose from?
I guess I should.
Of course, everyone needs those!
One or two
What's a mobile?

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What entertainer is present?
Magician
Disney princess
Clown
Balloon-animal maker

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If you can only have one out of Barbie and Bratz, which do you choose?
Neither
Barbie
I flip a coin.
Bratz

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How much LEGO is there?
All of it
None, it's dangerous.
A little
A lot

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How much Playmobil is present?
All the Playmobil!
I don't know much about it.
A little
Well, there's lots for me and then some for the kids.

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What classes will kids take in your toy store?
Pottery
Singing
Painting
Dance

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Are there are any items specially for preemies?
Not any more
I think so, they have particular needs.
That's a good idea!
No, they don't need toys.

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Will you stock model airplanes and/or drones?
Of course!
No, that's dangerous.
Sounds like a good present for Mommy!
Sure, what could go wrong?

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Have you got the dreaded "pink aisle" just for girls?
Heck no
I'd prefer not.
If it sells, sure.
I can't be bothered to organize things that way.

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Will you have a lot of traditional toys, like model railways?
Sure, kids love them.
No, they're too hard.
I doubt it.
Yes—for me!

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How much of the store is taken up books?
50%
15%
30%
10%

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What board game is an absolute must?
Stratego
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Scrabble
Monopoly

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What's the most expensive toy you'll sell?
$1,500
$150
$50
There will be a simulator that's $5,000, but it's just there to show off.

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How large is the video game section?
10%
20%
25%
30%

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Will there be a candy section?
Heck no
Probably not
Sure, what's the harm?
There will be a little candy by checkout.

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What educational toy will you surely include?
Turing Tumble
Globe
Star chart for the ceiling
Bill Nye the Science Guy action figure

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Will you stock weapons such as toy guns and knives?
Yes, you can't keep that stuff away.
No, my baby is a pacifist.
Sure, why wouldn't you?
Yes, that stuff is fun.

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Will you have any toys for teens, such as sporting goods, bikes, etc.?
Yes, they are high-margin and you have pester power working for you.
I doubt it.
If the marketing shows we should
Sure, I like those things.

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What action figure can you not do without?
Ruth Bader Ginsberg action model, because she's the queen
Plush Cthulu, because seeing a baby play with that is hilarious
Everything by Warhammer, because I want it myself
Marvel Super Hero Girls, because they inspire brave children!

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What regular event will kids come to the store for?
Storytime
Singalong
Face-painting
Spooky Halloween event

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What toy will you encourage every parent to get at least one of for their child?
LEGO, because it's the king of toys for a reason
Stuffed toy, because all kids should have one they can love
Transformer, because I like them
Plush globe, so they know where things are

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What toy will you stock but secretly hope nobody buys?
Barbie
Pokemon
Anything relating to Star Wars that's not about the original trilogy!
Furby

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How much of the store will the arts-and-crafts section take up?
10%
5%
20%
As much as my marketing can justify

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What facilities will you have to keep a child safe who has become separated from their parent or guardian?
They can come to the counter and wait there.
Playpen
They can go to the storytelling carpet.
They can sit in the office.

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Will you have a lot of fancy dress available?
Yes, you gotta have those Disney princess dresses.
Yes, because putting little outfits on kids is great!
Not a lot, no
Yes, but ideally you buy the pieces and make it yourself.

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You Got:

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