Can We Guess When You will Get Married From Your Relationship Rules?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Can We Guess When You will Get Married From Your Relationship Rules?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Surveys consistently show that the majority of people in the modern United States hold marriage as the gold standard of a relationship. Whether you're religious or an atheist, whether you're young or old, whether you're an immigrant or native-born, you probably lean toward the idea that marriage is the end-state that a serious relationship will eventually reach. 

Even people who personally see no value in it - or who even think it's a relic of a bygone cultural age - can appreciate the idea of tax benefits, medical next-of-kin privileges, and the other hundreds of rights that you can only access by signing that little piece of paper. Indeed, you don't even need to appreciate the legal upside to like the idea of making a public commitment and inviting all of your friends and family to publicly commit to supporting it.

Still, even with broad agreement that marriage is a great place to get to, how people get there is enormously idiosyncratic. Billions of dollars are spent every year on books, seminars, courses, and therapy to help people figure out how to better navigate the course of true love. The truth is that there is no single right answer - but there may be an answer that you like the sound of, for now at least. What answer you pick will certainly affect how soon you'll find your way to the altar. Let's get started.

Is online dating still weird?
A little.
Nope.
No, that question is weird.
It's just more efficient.

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What must a person's opening line include or exclude?
I don't care as long as it's respectful.
Anything that isn't negative.
Something witty.
Something that says they're going to spend money on me.

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In what place is it never appropriate to hit on a stranger?
Enclosed spaces like the subway where they can't just leave if they're not into it.
Work.
The street.
Everywhere.

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Who should make the first phone call?
Whoever.
Not me, please.
Probably the guy.
Definitely the guy.

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Should the guy have to pay on the first date?
No.
It's super nice if he offers, but no.
He should offer but not insist.
He should offer and insist.

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Some say it's not a date unless there's food; do you agree?
It's a date if you both agree it is.
It's a date if you eat, yes.
It's a date if you bang.
It's a date if the guy pays.

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Should you ever go on a date with a person you're not into?
No, that's cruel.
Yeah, you never know.
Yes, free meal for the win!
Yes, grandma says that's good practice.

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Do you have to wax for a date?
LOL no, they're not gonna get down there yet.
Yes, but mainly for psychological reasons.
Yes, that's just polite.
No, you mustn't, because then you won't let them get in there.

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If you have sex on the first date, is the relationship doomed?
Depends on the couple.
I wish it were not so, but generally, yeah.
Probably.
Obviously.

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How long after the first date should contact be made?
If it's the right person then you'll have planned the second date during the first. And of course, a nice good night text to check you got home safe is lovely.
Within 24 hours. When you know, you know.
More than 24 hours or it's needy.
More than three days or you're a psycho.

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Should the guy walk on the street side of the sidewalk?
It's cute but not necessary.
If he feels like it.
Ideally.
Yes, otherwise he is not a Real Man (TM).

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If you don't have sex before the fifth date, is the relationship doomed?
No, you do you (or not).
No, as long as you communicate what's up with you.
Probably.
Obviously, you miss the window and it shuts.

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Should each party have to show their full medical history before having sex?
Ideally yes.
They should discuss it.
God, that would be awesome, but I can't imagine asking.
No, that's too intense for me.

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Should the man have had more partners?
If you care about that, you're focused on the wrong things.
What's important is not the number, it's whether he learned something from them.
Of course. If he hasn't, the woman should lie.
If he hasn't the relationship will die.

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Is it OK to lie about things on your dating profile?
Never.
White lies, sure.
You have to knock 15lbs off your weight, that's just good sense.
Yes, everyone does it.

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What should you never discuss on the first date?
Anything that makes the other person uncomfortable.
Religion.
Politics.
Exes.

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What should you always discuss before you're exclusive?
Any major dealbreakers.
Future plans.
Nothing in particular.
You should just slide into it.

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Is it too early to say "I love you" after a couple weeks?
Yes, but sometimes it slips out and then you're either crazy or into something amazing.
It's a bit weird, yes.
Yes, that's super risky.
Only stalkers do that.

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When should a woman let a man see her without makeup?
Whenever. If he cares, he's not much of a man.
After staying over.
After six months.
Never.

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Is it OK to meet the parents before you sleep together?
Sure, everyone has their pace.
It's weird, but if that's what makes your boo happy, then I guess.
Yes, that is weird.
That's medieval.

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If your dog doesn't like them, is the relationship doomed?
Obviously.
Probably.
It doesn't mean anything either way.
I hate dogs.

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Does it matter who makes more money?
No, as long as you have enough between you.
It helps if the woman does, statistically; those marriages are more secure.
The guy should make more or it may be a problem.
If the guy doesn't make more than you might as well just call him the wife.

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What disagreement is an instant dealbreaker?
Whether you want kids.
Religion.
Who you vote for.
Which side of the bed to sleep on.

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Is cohabiting a good or bad idea if the goal is marriage?
It's fine, but probably not as an open-ended situation.
It's fine.
It's a good idea, like a test drive.
It's a bad idea, men don't marry the cow if they get to live at the dairy.

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Should you ever give an ultimatum?
Yes, if you don't know where you stand.
Only if you're prepared to have your bluff called.
Only if it's about abuse.
No, that's a good way to wind up single.

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Is it cheating to go to a strip club?
Yes.
No, but a lap dance would be.
No, I guess that is OK.
I'm a Cool Girl (TM) so I like, totally love that my fella does that. I'm not totes drama like those other girls.

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Is it the woman's job to civilize the man?
LOL, no. It's your job to bring out the best in each other though.
It may happen, but it's not her job.
That's so romantic! Yes, please!
Of course. Men are all savages until a good woman fixes them.

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Should you assume that someone with plain food tastes is boring in bed?
No, that is ridiculous.
Wow, are they? Huh.
Probably.
Totally. I read it in Cosmo, it must be true.

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What's one of the most important shared values?
Never taking each other for granted.
Religion.
Where to live.
Your friends liking your boo.

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What's the most important quality in a partner?
Kindness.
Sense of humor.
Fidelity.
Wealth.

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You Got:

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