Don't even try to pretend that you are a human without a secret. Everyone has secrets! You might not want to go around parading them for the world to see, and we are very sensitive to your need for confidence. Nonetheless, it's good for the soul to get our secrets off our chests, and to communicate them to another person. We are here for you. 

Not only are we in your corner, but we will also be able to translate your deepest, darkest secrets into the Chinese Zodiac animal you are. As much as we would like to tell you how we do it, our secret must remain safe with the oracle readers and truth sayers of the world wide web. Just know that we have the authority to harbor your secrets until the last bear stands in the woods. The things you choose to share with us will not pass our lips again. We will remain as quiet as a snake in the grass.

Which one of the 12 Chinese Zodiac animals are you really most like at heart? Trust us with all your rights and wrongs, and we'll take our best guess. Make like a monkey and quiz with curiosity!