There Are Four Types of Facebook Users: Which Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel

There Are Four Types of Facebook Users: Which Are You?
Image: Betsie Van Der Meer / DigitalVision / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Facebook has been around since 2004, when Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg built the original version (with some help or not, depending on who you believe) as a platform just for students. Since then it has ballooned into a behemoth that supposedly has around 2.3 billion users, of which about half are estimated to be fake, based on Facebook's own statements. However, the remaining billion are clearly a vast number, and with engagement levels that far exceed other platforms, Facebook remains the big daddy of social media.

Despite the large number of users, of course, there are only a few ways that people tend to relate to the platform. There are the humblebraggers, who joined to stay in touch with family in other time zones and couldn't quite resist the lure of presenting the glossy side of their life. There are the newbies, who don't quite realize that fact-checking every claim before sharing is pretty essential these days. There are the infinite scroll addicts, who constantly overshare in their search for dopamine as they resist logging off out of fear of missing the trend of the day. There are the professionals, who are really just there to find freelance gigs and promote their concerts but can't help but get distracted by all the cute babies and cat videos.

Which of these sounds like you? Let's find out ... and when you do, it'll be time to share!

How many times a day do you look at Facebook?
I'm sorry, can't talk. I'm looking at Facebook.
Five to ten
Three to five
Twice

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When did you first get a Facebook account?
2005
2010
2013
2016

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What is your Facebook avatar?
Me at a party
My headshot
Me on vacation with the fam
It's half of my face. I took a shellfish. That's what it's called now.

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What does "LOL" mean?
Just LOL. It's a word now.
Laughing out loud
Love our lives!
Lots of love

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How many friends do you have on Facebook?
About 1,000
The maximum, plus many fans
Between 200 and 800
Under 100

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How often are you sucked into a political discussion?
Can't answer – someone is voting the wrong way and I have to explain why that makes them worse than the worst dictator ever.
More than is healthy
Never – that's not on-brand for me.
I'm not sucked in! I dive in!

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What's the most intimate photo you've ever posted on Facebook?
Surgical scars, pre-healing
Nude shots from a movie I was in
Boudoir shots that my spouse paid for
Photos of where I keep my guns

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How often do you mention your relationship or lack thereof?
If people don't know about my boo, then they might think I don't have one.
Almost never
It is my main topic of conversation besides the kids and my awesome job.
I mention that I'm married when I need to explain why that is the right way to live.

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Have you ever sold an item through Facebook?
Yes, many times
Tickets, sure. Anything else, not so much.
I don't need to sell things on Facebook.
You can sell things on Facebook?

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What category do most of your friends fall into?
Everyone I've ever met, plus some people I haven't
Professional circles
Family and friends
Family, plus you will be impressed to hear that I am personal friends with a number of notable newsmen.

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Do you have more than one page?
No, just one that I tend like a little succulent
Yes, a personal page and a professional page, plus one each for certain shows and movies.
Just the one
My friend Vlad Johnson says you can only have one, so that must be true.

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If someone asks you why you're there, what do you say?
"Stop guilting me, I know I should go to bed."
"Check out my upcoming performance at the Such-and-Such Theater!"
"Just wanted to share a snap of this tapenade I made!"
"To stop the decay of Western civilization, obviously."

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How do you feel about Facebook's role in our democracy?
It's very bad – they should be regulated and held responsible.
It's terrible, but it's very useful for me.
It's neither here nor there in my evaluation of Facebook.
It's very beneficial.

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Someone is wrong on Facebook! What will you do?
Explain why they are wrong and also why their rhetorical device is an ad hominem and a straw man and a reductio ad Hitlerum.
Ignore it
Just keep on being me
Post a link from my favorite news site to explain why they are wrong.

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You got promoted and you were not near your phone when it happened. You reach the phone. Who do you tell first?
My mom
My parents and agent
Everyone on Facebook!
My spouse

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How often have you posted photos of food you made?
Only when it was for a political cause
Only when it is something special
Most days. I'm a good cook.
I haven't.

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During a vacation, do you get on social media?
Of course, constantly
Only once or twice, to stay in touch
I just share a few super-casual snaps. Nothing fancy. I take 500 then share two or three of the best filtered ones.
No, I don't know how to do that.

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Do you ever sort of hate Facebook?
Yes, constantly
Yes, it tries to make me pay it to get my tickets in front of people.
No, it is a happy place.
Yes, it is full of wrong people who are destroying society.

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Since your first Facebook anniversary, what is the longest you've gone without logging in?
Half a day
A couple weeks
A week
I haven't reached that anniversary yet.

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What percentage of your Facebook time would you say you spend in groups?
10%
Most of it – I have my writer group, my "grow your business" group, my alumni group and a dozen others.
About half – there's my parenting group, my cooking group and my professional high achievers group.
What is a "group"?

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How many posts do you put up per day?
More than 20
Whatever the experts say is optimal
Two to four carefully curated ones
About a dozen

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How many other social media platforms do you use?
None
All of them
Just Instagram
Just Twitter

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Do you fact-check news before you share?
Not if it is from legacy media
Obviously. I'm aware of the times we live in.
I don't share news.
No. I got that news from a friend. They wouldn't lie to me.

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Do you still call it your "wall"?
Of course, it will always be my wall!
I mostly refer to my "page," since that's my primary focus.
It's a timeline. Move with the times, people.
What? What do I call a wall?

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What is your default setting for posts?
Public
Friends of friends
Family and friends
What does this mean?

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How often do you block people?
I can't block them – then how will I change their minds?
I block trolls, harassers and fake accounts only.
I block negativity.
I don't know what this is.

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Do you mind Facebook knowing all these things about you?
I hate it. I'm not going to slow down, though.
It's creepy, but then, I only tell them what I want them to know.
I like it. I get offers for things I want.
Facebook doesn't know anything about me.

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What is the main point of Facebook, as far as you're concerned?
Destroying my brain, honestly
Professional growth
Showing my life to people
I used to think staying in touch with grandkids, but now I know it is getting the real truth from the real news.

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How often do you post about your kids or pet?
I don't have either of those.
Pet? Constantly. Kids? Who can afford those?
80% of my feed is that.
I post about family when we have an event together.

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Would you share something that seemed legit, but was from a site you had never heard of?
If I check it and it is legit, then it is probably OK.
No, that's probably foreign propaganda.
No, that's probably spam.
Yes, if a friend shared it with me.

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You Got:

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