Who Said It: Tracy Jordan or Jean-Ralphio Saperstein?

By: Staff

4 Min Quiz

Image: refer to hsw

About This Quiz

It's the battle of outrageous loose cannons: Tracy Jordan of "30 Rock" and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from "Parks and Recreation." Can you match the quote to the character?

"When life gives you lemons, you steal some of your grandma's jewelry and you go clubbin'."

That's lemons, not Lemons, thus the quote is from Jean-Ralphio.

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"Dress everyday like you're gonna get murdered in those clothes."

Sage advice from Tracy Jordan.

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"I made my money the old-fashioned way — I got run over by a Lexus."

If there's an unethical way to work the system, Jean-Ralphio has no problem doing it.

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"Are you ding-dongs making fake drugs for sophomores, because if true, this guy wants in!"

Recall the previous answer — it's Jean-Ralphio again.

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"I'm gonna have so much money, my grandkids are gonna play lacrosse."

Grand ambitions from Tracy Jordan.

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"Why don't you turn that frizown upsidizity?"

This is Jean-Ralphio, trying to cheer up Tom.

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"I hope you brought a change of clothes, 'cause your eyes are about to piss tears."

This is Jean-Ralphio, as he's about to kick off Li'l Sebastian's memorial service.

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"Guess who's got two thumbs and just got cleared of insurance fraud? This guy!"

But as Jean-Ralphio admits in his next breath, it was on a technicality.

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"I can't read! I sign my name with an 'X'! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent."

Whereas Jean-Ralphio is full of bravado, Tracy isn't afraid to tell everyone about his flaws.

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"I'm happy as a clam who wants to kill some woman."

This is Tracy, really mad at Liz Lemon.

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"Why don't you live your life like that cow from the video?"

This is Jean-Ralphio trying to inspire Tom — except the "cow" in the video is actually the pony Li'l Sebastian.

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"I don't need therapy. I'm just mentally ill."

This is Tracy's response to Jack's suggestion of a therapist.

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"I don't know where the paperwork is, but when you find it, can you take care of it for us? We don't have any pens 'cause we're afraid it's going to leak on our shirts."

Jean-Ralphio is all about delegating responsibility for tedious projects, especially when said project might involve getting dirty.

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"I'll be on you 24/7. I'll be like your family. I'm here when you get here in the morning. Sure enough, I'll be there tucking you into bed at night. Don't worry, it's not gay. Do we have questions?"

This is way too much energy for Tracy. It's Jean-Ralphio, trying to convince Ron he should be his assistant.

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"Live every week like it's shark week."

Wise and inspiring words from Tracy Jordan.

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"One time I waited outside a woman's house for five days just to show her how serious I was about wanting to drill her." 

And then Jean-Ralphio realized it was the wrong house. But it was OK, because the girl thought the story was funny.

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"If you think it's about the money, you're even dumber than I look."

Tracy to Liz in the "30 Rock" series finale.

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"That snizz is straight-up dee-loy-cious."

This is Jean-Ralphio, describing Snake Juice to Ron. We don't have to tell you it didn't go over well.

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"The night is young, and neither are you."

A final non sequitur from Tracy, again in the series finale.

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"I want to hold up a mirror to society and then win the world record for biggest mirror."

Deep thoughts by Tracy Jordan.

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"My incompetence knows no bounds."

Tracy, putting himself down again.

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"How married are you? You down to clown?"

Jean-Ralphio had the most unlikely crush on Leslie.

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"I'm gonna take a nap. See you in 10 hours."

Jean-Ralphio might be too hyper to nap — this is clearly Tracy.

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"This is bad! Because I can't change — I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard."

Pure Tracy.

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"Quote from 'Love Actually,' hold back your tears, pause … drop the microphone."

This is Jean-Ralphio's advice to Tom for his best-man speech at Andy's wedding.

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"Did someone call for a party zoo?"

Jean-Ralphio said this one.

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"I don't get why people like brunch. What's the benefit of combining breakdancing and lunch?"

NBC missed a huge chance for a crossover right here. This is Tracy's quote — but a breakdancing brunch place is a classic Jean-Ralphio and Tom plan.

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"I create a game show … two people on stage, right? They flip a coin. One of them has to perform open heart surgery; the other one has to receive open heart surgery. We call it 'Open Heart Surgery.'"

Tracy doesn't really have the wherewithal to create a TV show, but if he did, it would probably be like this brilliant idea of Jean-Ralphio's.

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"What is this, Horseville? Because I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!"

It's rare, but sometimes Tracy gets it right.

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"I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo. They were very drunk."

Tracy reflects on some of the horrors he witnessed as a child.

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