Do I Really Have To Bring A Gift?: The Do's and Don'ts of Wedding Shower Etiquette

Estimated Completion Time
2 min
Do I Really Have To Bring A Gift?: The Do's and Don'ts of Wedding Shower Etiquette
Image: moodboard/Brand X Pictures/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Getting married? Be sure to smile and socialize at your wedding shower. Attending a shower? Make sure you bring a gift! Throwing a shower for a blushing bride? Oh, you've got a few more issues to deal with. Test your knowledge of the do's and don'ts of wedding shower etiquette.
What is the purpose of a wedding shower?
to meet the groom
to celebrate and congratulate the bride
Friends and family "shower" the bride with gifts for her new home.
to tell embarrasing stories about the bride

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How should wedding shower invitations be sent out?
e-mail
snail mail
Shower invitations can be plain or fancy, but they should be sent by the postal service with a proper stamp.
text or phone call

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Who should be invited to your bridal shower?
all the women who're invited to the wedding
close friends and family from the guest list
While you could invite everyone on your guest list, this might make it a very large shower. A better approach would be limiting it to close friends and family who're going to your wedding.
anyone you think would appreciate the invite

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Your mom's best friend is hosting your bridal shower; what's NOT a good way to say thank you?
Bring flowers, candy or other small gift.
Send a handwritten note.
Ask her to chaperone your bachelorette party.
A simple gesture to show your appreciation is enough. No need to ask her to chaperone the bachelorette party too.

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How many showers should you have?
only one
less than five
The sky's the limit!
There are no real limits, especially if the bride has a diverse group of friends and family, but don't let endless invitations become a burden to your pals.

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Do I have to invite all shower guests to the wedding?
Yes. It is tacky to invite people to a shower and not to the wedding.
No. If you can’t afford to have everyone at the wedding, they'll appreciate at least coming to the shower.
It depends.
Traditionally, you should invite all shower guests to share the big day, but sometimes intimate weddings can preclude that. If the wedding is very small, explain to your guests why you can’t invite them to the wedding but that you'd still like them to be included.

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Is it appropriate to suggest where guests can buy gifts?
Yes. It saves the guests time and effort.
It used to be considered poor taste to include registry cards with the invites, but including them or listing the bride's registry is now acceptable for practical reasons. Who wants calls from 100 guests asking, "Where are you registered?"
No; guests should shop where they want.
It depends on how well you know the guests.

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The bride is clearly the most valuable player of the shower, but who is the second "MVP" at your shower?
mother of the bride
maid of honor
In addition to helping plan the shower, the maid of honor can help the bride most by making a list of who gave what.
the future monster-in-law

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What member of the wedding party is expected to plan a shower?
maid of honor
Throwing a party is practically in the job description of the maid of honor.
bridesmaid
wedding planner

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Is it appropriate for the mother of the bride to plan a shower?
No, it's like asking for gifts.
Yes, especially if she has time and energy to spare.
While Emily Post may have frowned on it decades ago, it's considered perfectly acceptable today.
Maybe; it depends on the bride's age.

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During the shower, when should the bride-to-be NOT open her gifts?
before food is served
while guests are eating
If it's a potluck dinner and everyone's starved, you might want to open gifts after everyone eats; during an afternoon tea, before refreshments is fine.
after food is served

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When should the bride carry the ribbon bouquet made from bows from her gifts?
on her honeymoon
at the wedding rehearsal
Carrying this at the wedding rehearsal is a symbol of good luck and well wishes from her friends.
at the reception

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What kind of gifts should a bride traditionally expect from a shower?
gifts for her new home
something new, something blue
depends on the theme
Bridal showers traditionally "shower" brides with gifts for her new home, but now they can have themes (kitchen, lingerie, honeymoon, etc) that determine the kinds of gifts bought.

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How far in advance of the wedding should your shower be held?
2-3 months before the wedding
Too early seems uncomfortable; too close to the wedding too stressful; two to three months gives you plenty of time to anticipate and enjoy the shower itself.
2-3 weeks before the wedding
6 months before the wedding

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Should the groom show up at the shower?
Yes, what a sweet touch!
Arriving with flowers makes a great impression on friends who haven't met your other half!
No, it's a day for the girls.
Only if it's a coed shower.

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Who should pay for expenses of the wedding shower?
the hostess
Whoever hosts the shower should pay; it can be budget-friendly or more elaborate.
the bride
mother of the bride

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