What % Basic Witch Are You?

By: Marie Hullett

What % Basic Witch Are You?
Image: stock_colors/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

In the song "Gucci Gucci," Kreayshawn raps, "We stuntin' like, Gucci Gucci, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada! Basic [witches] love that [stuff] so I don't even bother." Since this song hit top charts, ironically, you can bet that a ton of basic witches loved it. Still, that doesn't make Kreayshawn basic. Do you see what I mean? 

If you don't, you might just be basic yourself! Don't worry, though. While the word is often used pejoratively, it can also just be a fun way to poke fun at loving the stuff everyone loves, anyway. It's complicated, I know (like, the opposite of basic). Fortunately, though, with a little analysis of the nuances of your Starbucks orders, we can get a pretty good idea of just how basic you truly are.

So, do you frolic around in a flower crown at Coachella, waiting anxiously for Ariana Grande? Do you pray each night for an unlimited supply of Diet Coke and Lululemon leggings? Do you often "detox" or "cleanse"? Do you anxiously anticipate Sunday brunch followed by a long, hard Soul Cycle sesh? (I know we know a lot about "basic" things, but I swear we're not basic ... really! ... OK, maybe a little.) 

Let's find out whether you're stuntin' like Kreayshawn or Keeping Up like the Kardashians! There's only one way to know for sure—take the following (super basic) quiz. 

Khloe and Kylie Do you have a strong opinion on the Jordyn Woods/Tristan Thompson/Khloe Kardashian/Kylie Jenner drama?
YES. Do you have all day?
I mean, I'm clearly team Jordyn.
I did keep up with that mess, yeah ...
No

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2 framed picture Take a look at your wall. Do you have a framed picture or wooden board with an inspirational quote on it?
Yes! It reminds me to Live, Laugh, Love.
Yep. AND an embroidered pillow
I do.
No

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3 literally How often do you intentionally use "literally" when you really mean "figuratively"?
Literally all the time. But really, this time, I'm being literal.
Fairly often
Sometimes. Language evolves!
Never

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4 spin class Do you attend Soul Cycle or another spin class?
Yes! Soul Cycle is life.
Sometimes
Not recently
No. Why not just ride, you know, a bike?

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5 viewing party Should we host a "Keeping up with the Kardashians" viewing party with all our gal pals?
Yes! I already have one planned!
Sure!
It's kind of my guilty pleasure, so I'll come. Just don't tell anyone.
No

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6 Mercury in retrograde Ugh, things aren't going super well right now. Do you blame Mercury in retrograde?
Of course! It's ALWAYS Mercury in retrograde, whatever that even means.
I mean, sometimes, yeah.
Maybe. I don't really believe in that stuff at the same time I secretly do, you know?
No. I blame you.

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7 diet coke Do you or do you not love Diet Coke?
Love it! I'm asking for a fountain of it for my birthday.
I do like it. OK, I'm kind of addicted.
It's OK.
I hate it.

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8 juice cleanse How would you like to do a juice cleanse?
I'd love to! I just finished one, but why not start again?
I admittedly failed last time I tried, but I'm in!
Sounds bad, but maybe I'll give it a shot.
I wouldn't!

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9 ring light Do you use a ring light for your phone?
Duh. I need to get those selfies on point.
No, I just use whatever ambient light I have, plus my selfie stick, of course.
Nope
What's a ring light?

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SUCH Have you ever exclaimed that you or someone else is "SUCH a [Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte]"?
I can't help it. I'm a total Carrie!
Yes, and everyone who thinks they're Samantha is secretly a Charlotte. Don't @ me.
I may or may not be a Miranda, but I don't really tell people that.
Who?

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11 favorite meal What's your favorite meal of the day?
BRUNCH
Happy hour!
Lunch
Dinner

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12 Tiffany Have you ever purchased or received any jewelry from Tiffany & Co.?
Of course! I have like, every heart charm bracelet.
I have.
I wish.
No

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13 fro yo Do you or do you not love fro-yo?
Is that a question?! Fro-yo represents all that is pure and good in this world.
I mean, it's pretty delicious.
It's OK, but have you tried ice cream?
I do not.

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14 Order at starbucks Hey, do you want to hit up Starbucks?
OMG, yes. I thought you'd never ask. I have some Rewards points to redeem!
Sure, why not?
Maybe
No. I don't like Starbucks, plus, I don't even know you.

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15 Order at starbucks Whether you like it or not, we're at Starbucks. What will you order?
A grande pumpkin spice latte OR a grande caramel non-fat frappuccino with one pump of vanilla
A venti vanilla latte
A medium drip coffee
Nothing

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The Notebook How many times have you watched "The Notebook"?
Too many to count. Please don't talk about it, or you'll make me tear up.
Quite a few times. I can't help but love it!
One to two times
Never

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17 abbreves Which one of these "abbreves" are you most likely to use?
Margs!
"Chella"
Veggie
Abbreves?! No

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Duh. OMW!
Yeah, I like yoga.
Maybe
I'd rather eat burnt toast while watching my nails dry.

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19 lulu lemons Do you own any Lululemon gear?
Yes. Do you want to see my yoga pant collection?
I have a couple of things.
I have one thing from forever ago.
No

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20 pop star Which one of these pop stars do you love most?
Taylor Swift
Katy Perry
Beyonce
FKA Twigs

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21 pinterest Have you ever made a "style," "wedding" or "home" board on Pinterest?
Yes, of course
Yes or very similar
I've made a few Pinterest boards, but not those ones specifically.
No

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22 the bacheorlette Do you watch "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette"?
Yes! Do you want to come to my viewing party?
I try not to miss it.
I watch it sometimes, but please don't tell anyone.
No

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23 avocado toast You just bought a delicious piece of $10 avocado toast (that will ultimately plunge you into spiraling debt, according to Boomers!). Do you 'gram it before you eat it?
Yes!
OK, maybe. I mean, it's $10.
Maybe for my Finsta
No

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Regina George Have you ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?
Every. Day.
A little
Honestly, no
What?

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25 Instagram post Which one of these photos are you most likely to post on Instagram?
A colorful smoothie accompanied by an inspirational quote
Me eating an ice cream cone against a pastel background
A sunset
A still from my short art-house horror film

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26 Can't even How often do you say "I can't even?"
I can't even tell you.
Maybe a few times a week
Not often
Never

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27 astrology Have you ever refused to date someone because of their astrological sign?
Absolutely. If it's not in the cards, why force it?
Yes, because all Scorpios are terrifying once you get to know them.
No, but I have questioned it a little.
No. I would only refuse to date someone BECAUSE they believe in astrology.

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28 Style Have you ever copied Selena Gomez's, Kylie Jenner's, Kendall Jenner's, Gigi Hadid's or Bella Hadid's style?
All of the above. How'd you know?
Maybe I steal a little inspo now and then, yeah!
Not exactly, but I can't blame anyone for copping some of Bella's looks.
No, no, no, no, no!

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29 Wear pink On Wednesdays, do we wear pink?
YES. And remember, no sweatpants or jeans until Friday.
OK, yeah!
I mean, maybe not, but I like the reference.
No. We wear black, like every other day for the rest of our entire lives.

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30 Royal Family Are you on top of the Royal Family's state of affairs?
YES. Have you seen Meghan's Vogue edit?!
Of course
Somewhat. There are so many articles about them!
No

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You Got:

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