What % Stereotypical Millennial Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What % Stereotypical Millennial Are You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

If you believed everything you read about Millennials in the press - which is still mostly controlled by members of Generation X and the Baby Boomers, and entirely owned by about four Baby Boomers - you'd be convinced that the largest generation in America is an absolute waste of space. 

After all, Millennials are apparently subliterate, workshy weaklings who can't take the slightest criticism or engage with anyone they disagree with. They'd rather eat 14 avocados a day than save for retirement or a home, and they all have useless degrees in non-subjects then marvel that they weren't handed a steady job for life that can support a family of four. They like killing off super-cool industries like the hapless VCR-sellers, and they rarely lift their noses from their idiot phones.

The truth is that Millennials are actually the most hardworking generation currently living (the Greatest Generation having now retired or mostly passed). They work longer hours than their parents did at the same age, for less money. They face vastly higher rents relative to wages, and thanks to the collapse in union membership and changes in the global economy, they have no job security. Where their parents benefited from subsidies to buy homes and attend college, Millennials are saddled with tens of thousands in debt. Despite this, they are the most tolerant generation in U.S. history, embracing pluralism and diversity. They care about the planet and helping their fellow man. An avocado is the least they deserve, considering the crummy hand they were dealt.

Thus, while the avocado-munching, text-speaking, the social-media-addicted stereotype has a smidge of truth to it, the reality is far more nuanced. This quiz is going to focus mostly on the stereotypes - but we're also going to seek the truth behind them. Let's get started!

Would you like some avocado toast?
I'm already eating some but I'll take more.
Sure, thanks.
I'll try it.
Ew, no.

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How many social media platforms are you on?
All of them
6
3
1

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Are your jeans recyclable?
Of course
That's a thing? Cool!
That's not a thing, surely?
I wouldn't get recyclable jeans if they existed.

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What are you personally doing about climate change?
Went vegan and regularly call my reps.
Vote in every election.
Divested my stock portfolio.
Nothing because it is not real.

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Have you ever walked into something because your nose was in your phone?
Often, yes
A couple times
Nearly!
No

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Can you watch TV without also scrolling through Twitter?
No, how would I know what other people think of it?
I prefer not to.
If I must
Of course

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How many jobs do you have?
4
3
2
1

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Do you support marriage equality?
Of course
If that means gay marriage, then yes.
I guess.
What is that?

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Do you worry about Miami disappearing under the ocean during your lifetime?
I don't worry, I know.
I do, yes.
Not really.
How would that even happen?

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Did you vote in the last election?
Yes, but only that one.
I thought about it.
I tweeted about it.
Yes

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What non-relative do you have on speed dial?
My congresswoman
Thai place
My BFF
Only relatives are on speed dial.

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Do you know Siri?
Yes, that is a personal assistant in my phone.
Yes, I have it.
I keep hearing about Siri.
That's not a real name.

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Do you have any savings?
What are savings?
Yes, $25
Yes, $5,000
Of course

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Does your job provide healthcare?
No job does that, that's an urban myth.
Yes, but my boss seems to think they get to decide exactly which parts of it I can use.
Yes, but it sucks.
Of course.

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Have you ever spent more than $5 on a single coffee-based beverage?
I can't afford to do that.
Yes, daily.
Once a month, sure.
No such drink exists.

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How promiscuous are you?
Not very - I'm too careful.
Somewhat, but I use condoms.
Very, thanks to Tinder!
Way more than my younger firends, actually.

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Do you know what "cisgender" means?
Of course
I think so.
No, but I know I should.
It's not a real word, surely?

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How do you read the news?
Twitter
Buzzfeed
NYT digital subscription
NYT physical paper

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Other than singles and couples, what is the biggest romantic relationship (in terms of number of people in it) to be found among your friends?
I know some foursomes.
I know a "thruple."
I only know couples.
More than two people is not a relationship, it's an affair.

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Have you ever called yourself a hipster?
Yes, ironically, which is very hipster of me - ironically.
Not seriously
Of course
No

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Do you know how to practice affirmative consent?
Yes, absolutely
I know, but I don't quite get it right.
I think so.
That sounds really unsexy, so no.

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When you see a relative under the age of 10 for the first time in a while, how do you greet them?
I ask them if they'd like a hug, high-five, fist bump, or a bow, and they pick.
I ask if I can hug them.
I hug.
I hug and kiss.

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How many emojis do you have in regular circulation in your texting?
More than 20
More than 10
5-10
None

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What are the odds that you will call any of your children Alexa?
Zero
10%
20%
More than 20%

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Do you plan to join a union?
What is a union?
I tried. We all got fired.
I wish, but there are none in my industry.
I am in a union.

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Have you ever made a successful pivot to video?
Yes!
I tried.
I made an unsuccessful pivot to video.
What is that?

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What do you think of the Baby Boomers?
They destroyed the housing market, national debt, economy, and planet, then blame us for our problems.
They're the most spoiled generation in history.
They're mostly really racist.
They're great!

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What mileage does your car get?
I cannot afford a car.
I choose not to have a car.
My car is electric.
It's really good you guys, it's like 60mpg.

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Will you ever be free of student debt?
LOL no
Yes, if I retire.
Yes, in 10 years
I already am.

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Do people frequently accuse you of "killing" industries because either a) there's simply better stuff now or b) you have no money to spend anyway?
Constantly, yes
Sometimes
They did once, it was weird.
No, surely that's just capitalism in action?

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You Got:

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