What % Wife Material Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Do you have good boundaries?
Yes, they are excellent!
They're pretty good.
They're average.
They're terrible.

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Can you run a budget?
Yes, I am a maestra at it.
I'm usually in the ballpark.
I'm not horrible at it.
Money scares me.

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Can you cook a balanced meal?
Yes, I am a great cook.
Meal, maybe. Overall diet, yes.
I have one dish. Otherwise, no.
No.

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Have you ever cut out a toxic person from your life?
Yes, a bunch
Just one
I know I should!
I would never consider it.

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Do you know what works for you in bed?
Yes, and I tell my partners!
Yes, but I can't always tell my boo.
I think so?
No idea

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Do you know your own deal-breakers?
Yes, I bring them up early.
I think so.
I know one, but that's all.
Only women who want to die alone have deal-breakers.

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How needy are you?
Once in a while, when I'm sick or work is making me nuts
I can be fairly needy!
Being needy sometimes is good because it makes a man feel big and strong.
I am the neediest.

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Do you feel comfortable in your body?
I love my body.
I mostly like my body.
I have a few good features.
I just need to lose those last few pounds...

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Are you good at hosting events?
I am the hostess with the mostest!
I am decent at it, but it's exhausting to me.
I think I do OK.
That's not a skill.

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How good a listener are you?
Actively very good
Pretty good
Average
What?

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Do you like doing what is expected of you?
I actually do, yes - when it is a good idea anyway!
I like it a little.
I love it!
I hate it so much I always do the opposite.

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Do you believe a truly equal marriage is possible?
Perhaps not, but I believe it is worth fighting for.
I think so.
I doubt it.
Marriage is a trap!

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Are you still hung up on any of your exes?
God, no. I wish them well but I don't care where they are.
Every so often I want to punch one of them.
I occasionally wonder, "What if?"
Only a few of them. Why, is that bad?

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Do you know where you want to be in 20 years?
Yes, I have a few outcomes that suit me perfectly.
I have the ideal version then a few lesser versions.
I don't really know.
There is only one possible outcome; anything else is failure.

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Can you bite your tongue when you have to?
Yes, when I have to.
Every so often, it escapes!
Not really
I wouldn't even try.

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Would you feel trapped if you could only ever move house once more in the rest of your life?
Not if it was to the right house!
That's a little scary, yes.
That's horrifying.
I would just die.

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When you want to change something about yourself, what's your first step?
Be honest with myself about the problem, then read books and make a plan.
Enlist friends for advice.
Research it online.
Agonize for months, then do nothing.

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Do you take responsibility for the consequences of your actions?
I nearly always do!
I try to but sometimes I can't.
Not if I can avoid it.
Nope. I'll lie until I'm blue in the face if I must!

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Do you have a valid passport and/or driver's license?
Yes, both
Yes, just the license
Yes, just the passport
I have neither.

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Do you know how to drive?
Yes, I am a great driver.
I'm a decent driver.
I have a license but I probably shouldn't.
No, I never learned.

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Do you know what to do in a medical emergency?
Of course, I have a qualification in first aid.
I have a good idea.
Other than call 911? Nope.
Panic, usually.

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Can you keep a cool head under pressure?
Generally yes
Only when I have the right support around me
Not really
No, I fold like a soggy tissue.

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Do you care what other people think?
I do, but only in a healthy way.
I do, in some healthy and some unhealthy ways.
Yes, very much
Nah, screw 'em.

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Do you know what looks good on you?
Yes, but I honestly don't care that much.
Yes, I have my style down.
I think so.
I have no idea!

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How do you feel about getting older?
I love it. I keep getting better at things and having cool experiences.
I like some parts but not others.
I am mostly against it!
I fear it.

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Would you be sad if you could only sleep with one person again?
Are you kidding? No STDs and they know what I like, forever? Sign me up!
I'd probably prefer it actually.
It does give me a certain chill.
I would be very sad, yes.

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Is dating fun?
It is literally hell.
It has upsides.
It's pretty fun.
It's the best!

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Do you believe that tradition is valuable?
Yes, if it is a good tradition
In theory, yes, but not in practice
Not really
Tradition is dumb.

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Are most of your friends coupled up?
Nearly all, yes
No, but a lot of weddings are coming soon.
Only a few
No, once my friends marry I tend to never see them again.

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Does marriage matter to you?
Yes, marriage is so important people marched for the right to have it!
To me personally, yes - but I don't think it matters societally.
I guess. I mean, you get a lot of presents.
Nope

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