What Camaro Are You?

By: Nikki Weed
Estimated Completion Time
8 min
Camaro 1 If you could have any color Camaro, what would it be?
Red with racing stripes
A taupe sort of brown
Bleach white
Metallic midnight black

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Camaro 2 Who was the best United States president and why?
John F Kennedy, because he pioneered the new frontier
Richard Nixon, because he got us through the oil crisis and eventually we got our V8s back
Nixon's head in a jar from the television show, "Futurama"
James Buchanan, because he didn't really do much and let some of the South secede

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Camaro 3 When you see somebody smoking their tires in a parking lot, what's the first thing that comes to mind?
"Heck, yeah! The only thing that would make this better was if there was a Foreigner concert tonight!"
"I wonder how many ponies they have under that hood!"
"That's such a waste of natural resources, like fuel and rubber!"
"I remember when burning rubber really meant something and when a gallon of gas cost less than a dollar!"

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Camaro 4 At what job are you punching your time card at the end of the day before getting into your sweet Camaro?
Retired, but living out your youthful dreams
Assistant manager of a local home improvement store, but you feel a promotion coming very soon
Accountant, but you work with the volunteer fire department in town (and have the emergency light in your car to prove it)
Software designer, but in your free time you coach little league

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Camaro 5 As a Camaro driver, you need to look your best at all times! What fad diet are you most likely to be on?
The Grapefruit Diet, but sneaking Cracker Jack between meals. You also make a mean cabbage soup.
The Beverly Hills Diet plus copious amounts of aerobic exercises done in a florescent leotard of sorts. You have a workout buddy, but more gossiping is done than working out.
Fat-free foods, including foods that are supposed to be fatty, like cookies and potato chips. You secretly think it all tastes like garbage but eat it anyway.
Alternating between paleo and keto depending on what holiday is coming up. You LOVE talking about your diet.

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Camaro 6 Which supercharger kit are you shopping for and have added to your online cart a time or two but have never actually purchased?
Lingenfelter TVS2300, and you enjoy telling people about it
Vortech V-3 for your LS swapped engine
Weiand 144 Pro-Street ordered from the fine folks at Summit Racing
Edelbrock E-Force 122, and you have an Edelbrock bumper sticker to prove it

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Camaro 7 While talking about your car, how do you pronounce the word Camaro?
Kem-arrow
Come-a-row
Cam-air-ah
C-am-are-ow

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Camaro 8 After leaving the hairstylist, what new hairdo are you likely to be sporting?
Feathered, layered and hairsprayed
Chunky highlights
A perm
A man bun

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Camaro 9 Every legendary car should have a name, like Eleanor from "Gone in 60 Seconds." What did you name your Camaro?
Farrah
Tiffani
Audrey
Camaro Spice

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Camaro 10 Your local grassroots race track is having a track attack this weekend. What do you find yourself doing while there?
Chatting up fellow drivers and laughing about the good old days while wearing your Chevy ball cap
Watching from the grand stands with your big old tub of popcorn
Selling hot dogs in the concession stands and trying to up-sell chili for the extra $1
Racing, but hitting every cone on the course, and when you get your time, you complain about the track temperature

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Camaro 11 What parking situation gives you the most trouble and why?
Parallel parking, because the blind spot makes finding the curb extremely difficult
Mall parking lots, because there's always so much traffic and it's hard to find a spot
Parking garages, because no matter how many pictures you take of where you parked, you still have trouble finding your car
Dirt lots at concerts, because you never know who just relieved themselves where you parked

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Camaro 12 You quickly duck into a gas station. What are you most likely to be doing there?
Filling your tank yet again because you get horrible gas mileage
Buying energy drinks and a couple of lottery tickets
Going to the bathroom for about the millionth time that day
All of the above

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Camaro 13 What bumper sticker do you proudly display?
"Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires"
"My Child Is an Honor Student at Sunnyvale High School"
"Horn is broken, watch for finger"
"Vote McGovern"

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Camaro 14 What film have you seen more than 50 times and can recite the dialogue word for word?
"Remember the Titans"
"Fast Times at Ridgemont High"
"Sharknado"
"Transformers"

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Camaro 15 You glance over at a stop light and see someone giving you the nod to race off the line. What car are you more than likely looking at?
1983 Fox Body Mustang with an automatic
2002 Honda Prelude with a ridiculously large rear wing
A primer grey C10 driven by a man in overalls
Who knows, you're too busy texting

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Camaro 16 Oh crud, your alternator appears to have gone out! Where does it get fixed?
The nearest chain car repair shop, like Goodyear, and make sure to get the extended warranty
Wherever it decided to go out, because you travel with a toolbox and several replacement parts
In the comfort of your very own garage, which is complete with air tools and residential lift
After several trips back and forth to the auto parts store because you forgot the core, twice, you twist wrenches in your dirt driveway

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Camaro 17 What is the coolest aftermarket part on your car?
Tinted taillights
Carbon fiber hood complete with hood pins
Rear window louvers
Air conditioning

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Camaro 18 While trying to make it across the entire state of Texas on I-10 in just one day, you get drowsy and decide to buy a little pick me up. What drink are you grabbing?
Jolt Cola
Surge Soda
Red Bull
Cold Brew coffee

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Camaro 19 If you could use one word to describe your car, what would it be?
Underrated
Crunk
Icy
Boss

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Camaro 20 Accidents can and do happen, but what are you most likely to crash into and why?
The car in front of you at a stoplight. You were so engrossed in your Instagram feed that you accelerated before the car in front of you did.
A deer crossing the road, because you live way out in the country and deer are everywhere!
Another car in a demolition derby, because after the road-worthiness of your car became questionable, you wanted it to go out with a bang!
The tennis ball hanging from the ceiling in the garage — why bother trying to estimate how close you are to the wall when you've got a tattle-tale tennis ball to help you out!

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Camaro 21 If you're giving someone your email address, to what dot-com is your user name attached?
Yahoo
Gmail
AOL
Hush

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Camaro 22 What is the best Corvette ever made and why?
1963 split window, because the stylistic ridge lines mimic a skeletal system of the beast of a car
1963 split window, because peer pressure tells you this is the right choice but you're not sure why
1963 split window, because pop up and down headlights are the coolest thing to happen to the automotive industry since the internal combustion engine
1963 split window, because it turns heads quicker than a drunken celebrity getting married

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Camaro 23 In your own words, what does an exhaust do?
Creates a melodic engine note
Gets rusty and falls off at inconvenient times
Somehow causes engine codes
Allows us to breathe fresh air

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Camaro 24 The tires are the things on your car that make contact with the road. What wheels do you have on your tires?
Cragar Super Sports
American Racing Torq Thrust
BBS LM in Crystal Black
Year One Honeycomb

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Camaro 25 As you're walking through a car show, what car do you typically walk right past, not even giving it the time of day?
'64 Ford Mustang, because there's a ton of them, so what's the big deal?
'70 Dodge Challenger, because, sure, it's fast, but it's also an aerodynamic brick!
Foreign cars, because they're just showing off!
All of them, because you attend the show and spend your time taking pictures of the cars for social media, not actually looking at them!

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Camaro 26 Let's plan a road trip! Where are we going and why?
Pendleton, Oregon — It's cool to be able to experience a real rodeo town and still get a decent continental breakfast.
Washington Island, Wisconsin — There's nothing quite like driving your car onto a ferry and pretending like you're traveling to a brave new world!
Branson, Missouri — Your likeness on an airbrushed T-shirt is the highlight of your year and will potentially be featured on your Christmas card.
Winnemucca, Nevada — Glitz, glamour and casinos surround you, but you are safely situated far away from anyone who knows you professionally.

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Camaro 27 Which Craigslist ad title would catch your attention the most?
"Rolling frame, but good bones"
"Burt Reynolds-approved"
"Brim full of horsepower"
"Low mileage, driven by college girl"

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Camaro 28 When you're out cruising on a sunny day and have your windows down, what can be heard coming from your speakers?
The Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter"
Nickleback's "Photograph"
Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping"
Seals and Croft's "Summer Breeze"

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Camaro 29 What is the best engine ever to be placed in a Camaro?
L35 396ci V8
L22 250ci Inline 6
ZL1 6.2L V8
LS2 small block

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Camaro 30 If you were to upgrade one aspect of your Camaro to turn it into the perfect car, what would it be?
A coil-over suspension system
Airbags that will deploy when they're supposed to
A cooling system that actually keeps the car from overheating
A steering wheel with buttons to control every single thing in the car

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