Image: Jake Cueroll via YouTube
About This Quiz
After pulling onto a dealership parking lot, the typical person shopping for a vehicle can quickly become overwhelmed. Between the pushy car salesmen, depressing depreciation of your trade-in, and limitless possibilities, it might seem simpler to throw up your hands a give up. Car dealerships aren't typically out to make friends out of you, either. Chances are they've got quotas to meet and vehicles to sell, and will stop at nothing to get you into one. Is it really what you need, though, or is it what they need to get their bonus?
Shopping online isn't much more relaxed, either! Automotive websites can have a certain amount of jaded perspective when it comes to how great one car is compared to its competition. Aside from the sideways and sometimes glorified accounts of reliability and efficiency, the internet is full of opinions you may or may not want to trust. A car that's perfect for the middle-aged housewife in Nebraska might be completely different from the vehicle the housewife in California needs. Another downside of online car shopping is the absence of the real feel of the steering wheel or how the seat caresses your bottom.
We've put together this quiz to help alleviate your car-shopping-quandary and tell you what car you actually need. By answering these questions truthfully and honestly, we'll select one of the hand-picked 2020 models available for purchase.
Check your credit score and call your insurance company, you're well on the way to buying a new car!
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Your choice of vehicle has a lot to do with your needs! What is one must-have option you need on your new ride?
Apple CarPlay or Android Auto connectivity
A built-in high-resolution trail camera
An onboard 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot
A removable glass roof for coastal cruising
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Which parking lot will you be ducking into the most in your new car?
Whole Foods for the freshest produce
Tractor Supply for chicken feed and gum
7-11 for snacks to fuel my road trip
Costco for the best price on bulk diapers
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Pixabay by Maklay62
A brand new car can vary from just over $10,000 to well into the six-figure range. How many digits are you willing to be spending?
Money is no object!
As close to six-figures as possible without going over
Barely into the five-digit range, hopefully not by much
A modest amount, equivalent to an entire year's salary
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How much does the change of seasons impact your driving style?
When the seasons change and salt starts getting tossed on the road, the "winter beater" comes out of storage!
When the flurries start flying and the days get shorter, a set of snow tires gets the job done just fine!
When my vehicle sits at least a full foot higher than any snow that might have fallen, I have no fear.
Since the sunny roads of Southern California rarely get treated with winter weather, it's a non-issue for me.
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Pixabay by MikesPhotos
What is your honest opinion on non-domestic cars?
It doesn't matter where the car comes from, as long as it is dependable!
When an automaker has a pedigree of success, why try anything foreign?
The best cars are created when automakers work together across country lines.
When shopping for a new car, you should look at the overall comfort, not origin.
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When the census comes knocking on your door, how many people live in your household?
Two, but I have empty nest syndrome and I talk to the census taker at length.
Two, but I've got a set of twins in the works and a Golden Retriever.
Five, with one that has moved in and out of the house seven times already
Three, and I have taken painstaking efforts to make sure it remains three forever.
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Nobody is perfect, especially when driving. What was the last ticket you received?
Parking too close to a fire hydrant
Driving slow in the left lane
Tailgating, running stop signs, you name it!
I've never had a ticket in my life.
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Which of these options closest resembles your trade-in?
A high mileage white 1999 BMW Z3
A sort of sketchy late '80s Wrangler
An Audi A8 that I paid cash for
A Mercedes Benz CLS 550
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Dietmar Rabich via WikiCommons
What do you feel is the most useless feature available on modern cars and why?
Turn signals — it's not like people need to know where you're going!
An old school radio tuner — who listens to broadcast radio anymore?
Locking fuel doors with levers — does anybody even siphon gas nowadays?
Anything that plugs into the wall — aren't we over the oil crisis yet?
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Why do you feel that technological advances are crucial in new vehicles?
Remember the days of trying to keep your kids busy in the back seat without a DVD player? Never again, my friend!
By equipping a vehicle with advanced safety systems, the driver can have a more confident trip down the road.
By creating a more pleasurable ride quality, owners are more likely to become brand-specific customers for life.
Taking a classic vehicle that has developed a cult following and turning it into an amalgamation of new and old is fantastic.
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Pixabay by IADE-Michoko
What fuel mileage are you expecting to get out of your brand spanking new vehicle?
Fuel? I don't want to ever stop at a gas station again!
As a busy person, I don't have time to pay attention to fuel economy!
Since I'm still on the fence of getting a hybrid or not, I'm uncertain.
Anything less than around 40 miles per gallon on the highway is unacceptable!
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Not to ask the boring "what color car are you shopping for," but which of these snazzy car colors appeals to you the most?
Pristine White
Nitro Yellow
Firecracker Red
Who cares? It will be dirty anyway!
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Pixabay by AutoPhotography
What are you most likely to be doing with all of your cargo space?
Transporting bags of dog food to the local animal shelter
Transporting samples of my product to potential clients
Helping my friend move for the tenth time this year
Storing my Samsonite luggage on the way to the airport
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Let's talk about transmissions! Do you have a specific need when it comes down to how you shift your potential sedan?
A seamlessly shifting standard automatic with overdrive
An 8-speed automatic that shifts quicker than a standard
A transmission that shifts just like a moped
An automatic, but with a quirky center console-mounted selector
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To make your new car purchase suit your lifestyle the best, what is the first modification you'll make once it's yours?
Cargo nets everywhere and a set of Weather Tech floor mats
A Westin brush bar and an HID light bar to mount on the roof
Install a 2" Rough Country lift kit and a sweet set of mud flaps
A LoJack system and Coco floor mats to match the interior
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What is the furthest distance you're planning on traveling from home in your new vehicle?
As far as the airport, flying is much more convenient!
The roads are endless, there is absolutely no limit!
A 2,726 mile long trip around Lake Superior
If I had the chance, coast to coast, but I'm too busy!
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Sadly, the automobile has become a status symbol. Where do you feel your economic status is going to be on display the most?
The golf course parking lot at my Country Club
Outside of the local Ethan Allen store
In the elementary school pick-up line
As I'm driving through my cow pasture
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What is your primary purpose in getting a new vehicle?
Saving the planet and looking cool while doing so
Getting the most out of an economic vehicle
Utilizing a fine car for recreational purposes
Satisfying a midlife crisis, but also hauling stuff
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If we were to measure your desired ride height using soup cans as a measurement, how many chicken noodles would you need?
At least six soups
Four soups should do the trick.
10 soups, plus a sleeve of saltines for good measure
Only one soup, actually, that might even be too high.
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How long are you planning on keeping your brand new car before trading it in for the latest, more high-tech version?
Until flying cars become a real thing
Until everything breaks on it
Until my teenage daughter needs a car
Until the repo man decides to take it
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If you had to describe your driving style using just one word, what would it be?
Supersonic
Reserved
Aggressive
Precise
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What social media platform are you going to brag about your new vehicle on, and what will you say?
Post an update on LinkedIn stating nothing but "blessed"
Do a selfie for Facebook with the caption "fresh"
Send a tweet stating the uncertainty of my vehicle selection
Refrain from posting anything and call my mom instead
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Where are you worried about breaking down the most?
17 miles off of paved roads in the middle of a mountain range
Anywhere on the interstate that has an incredibly narrow shoulder
I'm not planning on breaking down, ever.
Anywhere I know my car will be up on blocks in seconds if I leave it unattended
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When mayhem happens, what is your biggest concern in a crash?
The fact that my car will have to be sent somewhere special to be repaired
Although I have advanced safety equipment, my car is a glorified roller skate.
If my car gets totaled, I'll have to find another one just like it.
How am I going to check on my livestock and trail cams?
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What is the first drive-through you'll find yourself going through after you've left the dealership in your new ride?
The Goodwill donation drop-off
Any fast food restaurant that has kids meals
Dutch Brothers for coffee every single morning
In-N-Out burger for milkshakes
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Where in the world are you most comfortable driving?
On a semi-deserted mountain road
In the carpool lane, regardless of passengers
Wherever the cow patties fall
On a well-graded dirt road
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What are you most likely to suck up in a vacuum while cleaning out your car?
Petrified french fries and green army men
Lost bottle caps from countless Fuji water bottles
Several reusable canvas shopping bags
Chunks of dirt and tumbleweeds of dog hair
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In your honest opinion, what is the coolest car ever made?
The Delorean from "Back to the Future"
The BMW Z1
The Volkswagen Thing
A 1992 Toyota Corolla
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What do you think the next big thing in automotive innovation is going to be and how do you feel about it?
Flying cars, but it'll be a long time before infrastructure catches up to the technology
Automatic seatbelts, but not like the ones that tried to choke me from the early '90s
Constantly variable ride height adjustment; who doesn't need to jump curbs once in a while?
Heads up display that integrates Waze; it would be so much easier than trying to keep track on the phone.
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What pet is most likely to go for a ride with you in your brand spanking new vehicle?
A cat in a carrier
A black labradoodle
A Labrador of sorts
The neighbor's kids
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You Got: