Image: Jake Cueroll via YouTube
About This Quiz
After pulling onto a dealership parking lot, the typical person shopping for a vehicle can quickly become overwhelmed. Between the pushy car salesmen, depressing depreciation of your trade-in, and limitless possibilities, it might seem simpler to throw up your hands a give up. Car dealerships aren't typically out to make friends out of you, either. Chances are they've got quotas to meet and vehicles to sell, and will stop at nothing to get you into one. Is it really what you need, though, or is it what they need to get their bonus?
Shopping online isn't much more relaxed, either! Automotive websites can have a certain amount of jaded perspective when it comes to how great one car is compared to its competition. Aside from the sideways and sometimes glorified accounts of reliability and efficiency, the internet is full of opinions you may or may not want to trust. A car that's perfect for the middle-aged housewife in Nebraska might be completely different from the vehicle the housewife in California needs. Another downside of online car shopping is the absence of the real feel of the steering wheel or how the seat caresses your bottom.
We've put together this quiz to help alleviate your car-shopping-quandary and tell you what car you actually need. By answering these questions truthfully and honestly, we'll select one of the hand-picked 2020 models available for purchase.
Check your credit score and call your insurance company, you're well on the way to buying a new car!
Apple CarPlay or Android Auto connectivity
A built-in high-resolution trail camera
An onboard 4G LTE Wi-Fi hotspot
A removable glass roof for coastal cruising
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Whole Foods for the freshest produce
Tractor Supply for chicken feed and gum
7-11 for snacks to fuel my road trip
Costco for the best price on bulk diapers
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Money is no object!
As close to six-figures as possible without going over
Barely into the five-digit range, hopefully not by much
A modest amount, equivalent to an entire year's salary
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When the seasons change and salt starts getting tossed on the road, the "winter beater" comes out of storage!
When the flurries start flying and the days get shorter, a set of snow tires gets the job done just fine!
When my vehicle sits at least a full foot higher than any snow that might have fallen, I have no fear.
Since the sunny roads of Southern California rarely get treated with winter weather, it's a non-issue for me.
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It doesn't matter where the car comes from, as long as it is dependable!
When an automaker has a pedigree of success, why try anything foreign?
The best cars are created when automakers work together across country lines.
When shopping for a new car, you should look at the overall comfort, not origin.
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Two, but I have empty nest syndrome and I talk to the census taker at length.
Two, but I've got a set of twins in the works and a Golden Retriever.
Five, with one that has moved in and out of the house seven times already
Three, and I have taken painstaking efforts to make sure it remains three forever.
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Parking too close to a fire hydrant
Driving slow in the left lane
Tailgating, running stop signs, you name it!
I've never had a ticket in my life.
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A high mileage white 1999 BMW Z3
A sort of sketchy late '80s Wrangler
An Audi A8 that I paid cash for
A Mercedes Benz CLS 550
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Turn signals — it's not like people need to know where you're going!
An old school radio tuner — who listens to broadcast radio anymore?
Locking fuel doors with levers — does anybody even siphon gas nowadays?
Anything that plugs into the wall — aren't we over the oil crisis yet?
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Remember the days of trying to keep your kids busy in the back seat without a DVD player? Never again, my friend!
By equipping a vehicle with advanced safety systems, the driver can have a more confident trip down the road.
By creating a more pleasurable ride quality, owners are more likely to become brand-specific customers for life.
Taking a classic vehicle that has developed a cult following and turning it into an amalgamation of new and old is fantastic.
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Fuel? I don't want to ever stop at a gas station again!
As a busy person, I don't have time to pay attention to fuel economy!
Since I'm still on the fence of getting a hybrid or not, I'm uncertain.
Anything less than around 40 miles per gallon on the highway is unacceptable!
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Pristine White
Nitro Yellow
Firecracker Red
Who cares? It will be dirty anyway!
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Transporting bags of dog food to the local animal shelter
Transporting samples of my product to potential clients
Helping my friend move for the tenth time this year
Storing my Samsonite luggage on the way to the airport
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A seamlessly shifting standard automatic with overdrive
An 8-speed automatic that shifts quicker than a standard
A transmission that shifts just like a moped
An automatic, but with a quirky center console-mounted selector
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Cargo nets everywhere and a set of Weather Tech floor mats
A Westin brush bar and an HID light bar to mount on the roof
Install a 2" Rough Country lift kit and a sweet set of mud flaps
A LoJack system and Coco floor mats to match the interior
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As far as the airport, flying is much more convenient!
The roads are endless, there is absolutely no limit!
A 2,726 mile long trip around Lake Superior
If I had the chance, coast to coast, but I'm too busy!
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The golf course parking lot at my Country Club
Outside of the local Ethan Allen store
In the elementary school pick-up line
As I'm driving through my cow pasture
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Saving the planet and looking cool while doing so
Getting the most out of an economic vehicle
Utilizing a fine car for recreational purposes
Satisfying a midlife crisis, but also hauling stuff
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At least six soups
Four soups should do the trick.
10 soups, plus a sleeve of saltines for good measure
Only one soup, actually, that might even be too high.
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Until flying cars become a real thing
Until everything breaks on it
Until my teenage daughter needs a car
Until the repo man decides to take it
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Supersonic
Reserved
Aggressive
Precise
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Post an update on LinkedIn stating nothing but "blessed"
Do a selfie for Facebook with the caption "fresh"
Send a tweet stating the uncertainty of my vehicle selection
Refrain from posting anything and call my mom instead
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17 miles off of paved roads in the middle of a mountain range
Anywhere on the interstate that has an incredibly narrow shoulder
I'm not planning on breaking down, ever.
Anywhere I know my car will be up on blocks in seconds if I leave it unattended
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The fact that my car will have to be sent somewhere special to be repaired
Although I have advanced safety equipment, my car is a glorified roller skate.
If my car gets totaled, I'll have to find another one just like it.
How am I going to check on my livestock and trail cams?
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The Goodwill donation drop-off
Any fast food restaurant that has kids meals
Dutch Brothers for coffee every single morning
In-N-Out burger for milkshakes
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On a semi-deserted mountain road
In the carpool lane, regardless of passengers
Wherever the cow patties fall
On a well-graded dirt road
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Petrified french fries and green army men
Lost bottle caps from countless Fuji water bottles
Several reusable canvas shopping bags
Chunks of dirt and tumbleweeds of dog hair
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The Delorean from "Back to the Future"
The BMW Z1
The Volkswagen Thing
A 1992 Toyota Corolla
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Flying cars, but it'll be a long time before infrastructure catches up to the technology
Automatic seatbelts, but not like the ones that tried to choke me from the early '90s
Constantly variable ride height adjustment; who doesn't need to jump curbs once in a while?
Heads up display that integrates Waze; it would be so much easier than trying to keep track on the phone.
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A cat in a carrier
A black labradoodle
A Labrador of sorts
The neighbor's kids
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You Got:
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