What Dessert Represents You in Bed?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Dessert Represents You in Bed?
Image: Petri Oeschger/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

As anyone who calls themselves a foodie knows, the best meals always end with the best course: dessert. Capping off the probably savory delights of the entree with the usually sweet offerings of a lovely pudding, mousse, parfait, or cake is a cultural and emotional way to signal that the meal is coming to a close and that you have been fully satisfied. As the last part of the meal, dessert also indicates that it is time to move on to other parts of the evening. Sometimes this simply means going home or to bed - but sometimes it means a lovely drink, some flirtation, and perhaps a little unclothed snuggle time with your boo.

This means the dessert often sets the tone for what is to come and bears easy comparison for WHO is to come. Like lovers, desserts come in all varieties. Some are sweet and spicy, while others are dark and delicious. Some are full of surprises while others are more of a "What you see is what you get" type of deal. Some are hot, others are cold, and some are a shocking but sexy combination of the two. Others are just tragically deflated.

Which of these sounds like you? Let's find out!

Are you more nuanced than people think?
Yes, actually
I think so.
No, they know I'm nuanced.
Yes, but not much

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Do you love to bring toys into the mix?
Not really
Depends on the toy
I don't need toys.
Yes, I love toys.

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Are you even better than you look?
Most people would say so
I look ridiculous, so I'd really have to be.
I look great and I am great, so, no.
Only a little

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Are you everyone's cup of tea?
Yes, everyone wants me.
Heck no, I'm a very specific taste.
No, but they should want me.
Most people's

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Is your body complicated to operate?
Nope, it's very simple.
It looks that way, but it is not.
Oh, yes
Not very

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How often do you surprise your lover?
Once in a while.
The first time, a lot
Every time
Half the time

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Have you ever... deflated... at an inopportune moment?
Only slowly
No, I am reliable that way.
Yes, it was the worst.
I might have done that a few times.

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Do you ever just lie there?
Yes, usually
No, I get involved.
Sometimes
Once in a while

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How spicy are you?
Not at all!
Not much
I don't need spice, I have other options.
Very!

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Are you too sweet for words?
I can be.
In my own way
Yes, but you love it, don't you?
Nope, I am just sweet enough.

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Do you sometimes get air in the strangest places?
Ahem, yes. Every time
I haven't recently.
No, fortunately
Yes but it's very predictable so I know when it's coming my way.

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Do people sometimes just not understand how you do that thing with your body?
No, they understand.
They're mostly too impressed to care.
Yes, they are quite flummoxed.
They are confused but then they get it.

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Do you like to mix it up?
A little
Yes, but in the same way most times
Oooh, yeah
Every so often

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Do you like to be shared?
Nope!
Not ideally
Yes, I am a lot for one person.
How naughty, sounds fun!

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Are you highly responsive?
Not really
Only for the right person
Yes, I react intensely.
About average

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Do you melt when things get really hot?
I can, if it's really hot
Sometimes
Honestly, I melt no matter what.
Nope

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Be honest. Are you super hot?
In my way
No
Yes, but on the inside
I am the hottest.

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Can you be really frigid when you're not in the mood?
I'm always in the mood.
Sometimes
Oh, yes
Not really

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Do you love to make a huge mess?
No, thanks!
The more the merrier
A little mess is best.
Sure

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Do you think you're good for your partners, emotionally speaking?
I'm very good for them, yes!
No, they tend to come to me when they have huge guilt.
I am quite good because my partners make a proactive and thoughtful choice to be with me.
I try to be

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Does a little of you go a long way?
It can, but most people like a lot anyway.
Definitely yes
Usually, yes
No, you need to try the whole thing.

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Do you need to be warmed up first?
It doesn't hurt.
No, I'm good to go.
In some areas, yes
I generally come pre-warmed.

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How long do you last?
As long as you can handle, baby
Not very long, but I get it done.
I'm pretty quick, honestly.
The longest!

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Do your lovers ever feel like they've taken on too much with you?
All the time, but they don't give up.
Once in a while
Most of the time
Not really, I'm pretty manageable.

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How satisfying are you?
The most!
Depends on what you like, really
Mostly people are just so thrilled they made it with me, they don't even care.
One does one's best...

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Do you simply demand to be eaten?
Ooooh, yeah
Not really.
Some people would prefer to just gaze in awe.
I don't demand but I ask nicely.

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Does it take a pro to really get the best out of you?
Not really, I'm easy.
No, if you like what I'm laying down, then we'll be fine.
Yes, you need mad skills to work with me.
No, but only the best appreciate all my nuances.

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Do you like to indulge in nontraditional locations?
Once in a while, sure
Eh, I'll go anywhere.
It has to be somewhere classy and clean
I prefer not to, but I'm open.

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Once they've been with you, can your partners bear to be with anyone else ever again?
Sure, but nothing is as good.
Yes, many people only want to try me the one time.
I hope not!
Yes, but they never forget me.

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Are you just a little nutty?
I can be nutty.
Oh, yes
Nope!
I am not, but I have other ways to be crazy fun.

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You Got:

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