What Do Your Military Opinions Say About You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Do Your Military Opinions Say About You?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Here's a fact that is true whether you love the military or give it all the side-eye: nobody loves war. War is hell. It's the last resort, the option that has to be explored only in the most extreme of circumstances. Sure, it's glamorized in movies or on TV, but nobody who has actually experienced it is deluded by such things. 

War is about people being cut up, families losing members to death or simply to the chaos that can separate them, homes being destroyed, businesses closing and jobs disappearing. It's about everything a person has ever known and loved being torn away in the most brutal possible manner.

It may be counter-intuitive to some, but it's the very horror of war that makes it wise to have an effective military. Partly it's a matter of deterring invasion or illegal behavior that would require military intervention - that is, stopping at least some wars before they start. Partly it's because if you have the better military when you must fight, you fight on your own terms and you win faster. You also minimize civilian casualties and infrastructure damage. 

Lastly, it empowers the military to perform its humanitarian and day-to-day security missions, such as providing aid after natural disasters and preventing piracy on key trade routes. This is good for both ally, trading partner, and even enemies.

How do you feel about the way the military should be run, or how it should execute these very important duties? Tell us, and we'll figure out what sort of patriot you are!

Do you ever think of serving in the military?
I'm about to sign up!
Yes, I'm not sure though.
Oh, I could never, you have to be basically Batman to do that.
No.

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Does the military offer enough training?
Of course.
Nope.
I think so.
I don't think so.

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How do you feel about NATO?
Freeloaders.
The most importance alliance in history.
I don't know what that is.
I guess it prevents wars, so it's good.

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Do you think khaki suits everyone?
Only true heroes.
Mostly yes.
Only handsome people.
No.

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If you see a soldier in the street, how do you feel?
Honored
Safer
Intimidated
Frightened

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Would you want your kids to join up?
Yes
If they want
Only if they can make it
No

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Which American ally is the best one?
Britain
Canada
None of them
France

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Which American ally is the least good one?
France
Saudi Arabia
Turkey
Pakistan

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Which branch of the military is the most scary?
Army
Air Force
Navy
Marines

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Which role in the military is the coolest?
Sniper
Spy
Tank commander
None

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How do you feel about women on the front line?
If they love this country let them show it, why not?
Same as I do about men there.
That's too scary for women.
Nobody should be on the front line.

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If you could remove US troops from one country they are currently in, which one would it be?
Germany
Saudi Arabia
South Korea
All of them

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Should the US military be bound by the Geneva Convention and other international laws?
I guess, yeah
Obviously yes
No
They don't go far enough actually!

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What does MOAB stand for?
Massive Ordinance Air Blast
Mother of all bombs
Making 'Orrible A***** Bleed
My Old American Bomb?

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Would you ever want to live on base if you were posted overseas?
Of course!
I'd like to try it briefly.
If they told me to.
No, definitely not.

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Should there be conversation at breakfast in the mess?
No, that's for quiet thinking.
If people want, sure.
Yes, about heroic things!
I don't mind.

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What's the best reason to join the military?
Securing the homeland
Global security
Killing bad guys
To undermine it from within

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What's the worst reason to join the military?
All are fine by me.
To wantonly further American power without thinking.
To make money!
To kill people.

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How long after you first see active combat are you no longer a rookie?
First encounter.
A few months I'd imagine.
After you kill someone.
After you see someone die.

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What's the worst thing you can do in uniform?
Disobey an order.
Break international law.
Be cowardly.
Hurt a civilian.

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Should the US sign up to the International Criminal Court at the Hague?
No, our enemies would submit frivolous accusations.
That's very complicated actually.
No, screw 'em.
Yes.

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Which sort of humanitarian mission are you especially proud of?
Hurricane relief.
Earthquake relief.
Saving babies from whatever has endangered those babies!
That's literally the only reason the military should exist, so all of them.

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Is stopping pirates fit work for a soldier?
I guess.
Yes, it's key.
Yeah, and punching them!
The pirates are only doing it because they are poor because we took their oil. Probably.

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Would you ever get a military tattoo?
I already did.
Doubt it.
I have a plan to get a full sleeve.
No.

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Do we take good enough care of our veterans?
I think so.
Not really.
No, they should get a free house.
I don't see why they deserve better care than anyone else.

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Which hostile power is the biggest threat to US sovereignty just now?
North Korea.
Russia.
Iran.
Capitalism is always a threat to itself.

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How much military history is it proper for a soldier to know?
As much as they teach at military training.
As much as they can retain.
Eh, who needs that.
All the ones where we lost.

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How do you feel about current military funding levels?
A little low.
A little high.
Far too low.
Far too high.

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Which is the coolest military vehicle?
Humvee.
Predator drone.
That dog robot that carries things.
Killing machines are not cool!

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Should the draft exist?
Yes, of course.
No, we're not running out of soldiers.
No, if people don't love America enough to join up voluntarily they don't deserve to serve.
No, the military should not exist at all.

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You Got:

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