What Does Your Motorcycle Say About You?

Mark Lichtenstein

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

If you have a motorcycle, it says something about you right off the bat. You are probably a bit impulsive and a risk taker, you like to have fun, and you are somewhat of an outlaw, even if you keep that part of you inside. But believe it or not, what type of bike you ride means even more when it comes to your personality.

Are you the type of person who uses a motorcycle because it is easy to get around on, for short trips around town? Are you more of a touring bike type who likes to go on long rides, whether by yourself or with your buddies? Are you into performance bikes, the type of ride that shows that you not only have skill, but probably have some deep pockets as well?

Or maybe you are the bad boy type, that would fit in great with the Harley Davidson riders on "Sons of Anarchy." I mean except for all the killing, of course - that part doesn't seem like much fun.

No matter what type of bike you ride, you know it tells the world about who you are. Take this quiz so you can find that out for yourself.

How often do you service your bike?

When it shows signs of a problem.

I service it more than I ride it.
I take it in once a year.

Once every season

How often do you wipe your bike down?

Never! Nope! Sorry!

When it gets visibly dirty.
On the weekends

Every time I ride.

How often do you replace your bike's tires?

I once rode on a flat one for 200 miles.

When they get to about 60% used.
I replace them once a year.

I replace them twice a year and use tire shine on them.

How often do you condition your seat?

Never

Once or twice a year
I pay someone to do it for me once every season.

I do it every time I ride.

How many times have you replaced the drive chain?

Are you supposed to do that?

Once
I had it replaced with a super light titanium one when I got it new.

I don't replace it, because I clean and maintain it regularly.

How often do you change the bulbs in your headlights?

When they die.

I test them once a year and replace them every couple years.
I had them replaced with X shaped LEDs!

I rotate a set every year.

How often do you do a full engine rebuild?

Never!

Every month
I pay top experts for that.

I do a partial rebuild every weekend, and full one once a year.

What kind of panniers do you have on your bike?

They're waterproof plastic ones.

I have ones off an old highway patrol motorcycle.
I have ones that look like skulls.

Calfskin ones

Have you chopped your bike?

I added better brakes.

I added a long fork.
I added a turbo to the engine.

I changed nothing!

If you were to chop your bike, what mod would you make?

A big windscreen

A piece from an old Harley from the 1950s
I'd get gold forks.

I'd add a place to keep a bottle of Windex.

How is your bike painted?

I can't tell under all the muck.

It's racing green.
It's bright red with a racing stripe.

It's black.

Do you have any stickers or decals on your bike?

I can't tell!

Yeah, I have a badge from an old chapter of an outlaw biker gang from my region.
I have a racing stripe.

No, it looks ugly.

Do you have any physical adornments on your bike?

Heaps of filth

A mirror from an old Indian Chief
It's signed by Tom Cruise, who rode it in a movie.

No, adding stuff makes it hard to wash down.

How much of your bike is stock?

I have no idea

90%
50%

60%

Are you proud of your bike being either stock or modified?

No, neither

I'm very proud that my bike is 90% stock.
I'm proud that my bike is heavily modified.

I'm proud that I changed out the front fork because it's easier to clean and maintain.

What is cool about the old Triumph Speed Triple 750CCs from the 1990s

Not much

They have those weird engines that are smaller than the ones the bike was designed for.
They look hella-cool.

They have very clean lines.

What is cool about the old Honda Valkyrie?

They can take a lot of punishment.

They have an in-line six engine, which is odd.
They have so much power!

They have a lot of chrome.

What is cool about the Ducati Monster?

They are designed to splash through mud and still look good.

They were the first production streetfighter motorcycle.
They are Ducatis! Ducatis are cool.

They look amazing in showroom condition.

What is cool about the Harley Davidson Sportster?

They are made to be tossed around and ruined but still run.

They are the iconic baby Harley, and are historically important.
They are light and fast!

They look great when you put a shine on them.

What is cool about the BMW G 650 GS?

They are made to get filthy.

They have some very cool, purpose built suspension.
They can jump like nothing else.

They look great on a plinth.

Would your bike look good in a camo paint scheme?

You wouldn't be able to tell under all the mud.

Only if were a period correct one for the age of the bike.
Can I still have a racing stripe?

Sure, but I'd give it a shine, which would make the camo look a bit odd.

Would you take your bike on a hunting trip?

Sure!

Only if it were designed for off-road use.
No, I wouldn't want to break any of the expensive bits.

No, it might get dirty!

What's the first thing you'd do with your bike after a ride from LA to Las Vegas?

Nothing

I'd check that the coolant is okay, then probably replace it.
I'd do doughnuts in the parking lot.

I'd clean off all the dust and condition the seat.

What's the first thing you'd do with your bike after a wintery ride from Boston to New York?

Nothing

I'd check its oil and clean out the tank.
I'd rev the engine really loudly to make sure it's working okay.

I'd clean off the ice and snow debris.

What would you do with your bike if you were going to make an entrance at The Hotel Fontainebleau in Miami?

Nothing

I'd shine up the intercooler.
I'd give it a shine and add street glow.

I'd give it a meticulous cleaning.

What's your weekend bike maintenance routine?

An Italian tuneup

I tear down a part, clean it, and make a YouTube video about how it works.
I Instagram it in front of a fancy hotel.

I clean it with q-tips.

What do people usually compliment your bike on?

Its knobby tires.

Just that it's a bike.
That it's special because of its power, or rarity, or expense.

How gorgeous it looks when it shines in the sunlight.

How would your bike do at concours d'elegance?

It wouldn't be allowed in.

It'd win.
It would place.

It would get high marks for condition.

What percentage of your bike's value does it currently have?

Not much

Most of it
About half

Nearly all of it

What was the bike buying experience like for you?

A friend helped me find the right one for me.

I did tons of research and went to a dealer armed with all the info I needed to get a good deal on what I wanted.
I went to a fancy dealer in town and got red carpet service.

I purchased a beautifully maintained machine from a collector.

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