What Does Your Taste in Mexican Cuisine Say About You?
By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
About This Quiz
Some say the clothes make the man. Others say you can tell a lot about someone from the company you keep. The truth is that if you really want to know about someone, find out how they like their Mexican food.
How much does a taco cost?
I don't know! I literally never look at the menu and order by asking the waiter to just come up with something for me.
It depends on which restaurant you go to.
Not much, compared with other foods.
You see a thing on the menu but you do not know what it is. Do you order it?
I pretend to know what it is and I order it.
I ask the waiter to explain it to me and then maybe I'll have it.
Do you have a "usual"?
No! I spin a wheel with the menu on it and throw darts.
Yes, and it's the best food that exists.
No, I like it when a chef invents new and interesting foods within the bounds of a national cuisine.
Do you like it spicy?
I like it so spicy it's right on the edge of what I can handle.
Only if the spices are rare and interesting.
Do you like beans?
I love beans more than life itself.
Only if they are really good beans.
How do you like your eggs?
I like them a little runny.
I like them cooked just right.
Can you roll a burrito and always get it just the right size to fit in your mouth just so?
I don't bother because I love a surprise!
I can totally nail it every time.
No, I really need to work on that.
I don't bother because that's what the pros are paid for.
How messy is your taco eating?
I eat like a neat little gerbil.
Do you know how to make huevos rancheros?
I have some good cookbooks that will tell me how.
The fajitas are here and the plate is super hot. Do you touch it anyway, just for funsies?
Why not! It's a good story!
I'll have the waiter handle it.
Do you know how to tell if a bean is just right?
Nope, and I like to just go for it!
Yes, and I'll show you how!
No , I leave that to the pros.
Not really, but my chef knows.
Which is better: beef burrito or tongue taco?
Tongue, or as they say in Spanish, "lengua."
Beef! Tongue sounds scary and gross!
Tongue is more expensive, so I'm going with tongue.
Your boo has a dish and offers you a bite. Yay or nay?
Only if the food is awesome.
No, if I want some, I'll just order one for myself even if I only have a bite.
Do you ever have Mexican food not from a restaurant?
Yes! I like to buy it from street vendors all the time.
When I AirBnBed Mexico City, my host cooked for me loads of times.
I tried making tacos once.
Sure, I hired a Michelin star chef to cook in my home.
Ever been to Mexico?
Yes! I did a reverse illegal border crossing so I could make a film about it.
Oh yeah, and I've seen all the ruins.
Nope, but I've been to The Barrio.
What drink are you having with your dinner?
Barrique de Ponciano Porfidio Tequila
What is the best Mexican breakfast food?
Sweet Potato Chorizo Hash With Eggs And Avocado Crema
Breakfast Enchilada With Bacon And Eggs
Crispy taco or soft taco?
Crispy looks like what they serve at Taco Bell, so I'll have the soft one thanks.
If a tortilla were called a wrap, would you be a little disappointed even though it's literally the exact same thing?
I'm never disappointed by surprises.
I wouldn't be disappointed so long as no one else knew.
No, I'd be fine with that.
Do you Instagram your food?
No, I use Foursquare for that.
Yes, I Instagram everything.
No, I only use Instagram for pictures of my cat.
No, I have the professional photographer I pay to follow me around Instagram my food.
How many Mexican restaurants are in your favorites on Seamless?
None, I choose which one to order from at random.
None, because I don't use Seamless, my valet uses Seamless.
Jamaican Jerk: yay or nay?
What about Jamaican nice?
Only if I have to fly to Jamaica to get it.
Have you ever had a quesadilla with no cheese?
Oh, sure I did, I do all the time, like always.
No, that sounds like a contradiction in terms.
I heard there's this really high end unlicensed restaurant under the Chrysler Building that serves them.
Which salsa do you want: bambino or cruda?
Bambino. Who knows what's living in that machine?
Cruda, to show that I'm a sophisticant.
Cruda looks more expensive so I'm going with that.
What's the secret ingredient that makes your guacamole rock?
Crushed conflict diamonds
How much paprika is the right amount?
A lot, if it's expensive.
How long should a churro be?
Not too long... six inches?
It doesn't matter so long as there are flecks of gold on it.
Would you eat a bean burrito if you knew you were going to be in a small, enclosed space for hours - with other people?
Only if the people with me knew I was going to do it, and I could hold it all in.
Only if I could get some kind of fancy medicine that would stop the gas.
Who do you eat Mexican with?
What is the one thing you can never refuse, no matter how full you are?
Is there a fancy bottle of tequila?
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