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About This Quiz
Choosing your career is one of the most important decisions in your life, but you often have to make it before you have any of the tools you need for an informed decision. Some people choose based on a test in school. Others join the family business. A few just take whatever's available in the area. Years later, do you ever wonder what you should really have chosen? Take this quiz to find out where your calling might be.
What do you love most of all?
To create something that moves people
Money
Power
New horizons
To mend things and see the work of my hands
What's for dinner?
Ramen noodles, for the third time this week.
Steak au poivre, served in the private dining room at Per Se.
The indigenous foodstuff of the city I'm in, which, coincidentally, is my very favorite food!
Whatever's local. Sometimes it's gross, sometimes, it's delicious.
A good hearty pasta. Nothing else like it after a hard day's work.
Do you want to change the world?
Of course - and when it's done right, my work will change it for the better.
Absolutely. There are far too many regulations.
I just want the little guy to catch a break.
No, but I really want to see it all.
I want to be able to make an honest living doing an honest day's work. If the world allows that, I'm OK with it.
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Are you good with your hands?
Uh... I type 180 wpm.
I have servants to use their hands for me.
Naturally I'm not an elitist. I'm just like you.
Yep, and I'm a quick thinker too.
Pretty darn great, actually.
If you were stuck behind a desk all day...
I would get bored.
That'd be just fine.
I'd make sure someone took my picture so people can see how hard I worked.
I would go absolutely insane.
I'd hate it.
Do you care what other people think?
Not enough to get a square job, but otherwise, yes, and way more than I should.
Are they my boss? My investor? My (hopefully jealous) friends? If not, then I don't care.
I live and die by it.
Not even a teeny tiny bit.
Yes, but not so much that it controls everything I do.
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How's your imagination?
Incredible. It runs like a Formula One racecar.
I used to have one of those, but now I have outsourced all my imagining to some fellow in Bangalore.
I can always picture a bigger office, if that's what you mean.
Wild and free, like my heart.
Pretty limited, but that's just as well in my line of work.
Do you want to be your own boss?
Yes, but I accept it won't always be possible.
I don't care as long as I'll have my own yacht someday.
I want to serve the people. After all, I know what's best for them.
I don't believe in bosses.
Sure, but I'll work for someone else if the pay's steady.
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Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Staffed someplace where I make enough steady income to pay for my comedy/theater/indie film habit.
Making partner.
Climbing that greasy pole.
Any country I've never been before.
Doing the same thing I'm doing now. Perhaps with a couple grey hairs.
What's your favorite American city?
Portland, Oregon. Weirdos everywhere! I fit right in.
New York. You can feel the money in the air.
Washington DC. The power, the absolute power...
Barrow, Alaska. It's almost impossible to get there. That's my kind of place.
Louisville, Kentucky, home of UPS. It has the highest number of opportunities within a 24-hour drive.
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When you picture yourself with 2.4 kids and a picket fence, you...
Know I'm never going to afford that.
Hope my buddies at Sigma Bro are jealous of how perfect my life is.
Congratulate myself on having created the ultimate campaign poster.
Want to barf.
See lots of things that need fixing.
Marriage is...
An adventure!
A smart career move if you pick the right person
A necessity
A trap
A partnership
Have you ever turned down a job for ethical reasons?
Yes, but I regretted it later that month when I couldn't pay my bills.
I literally don't understand the question.
Of course. Every so often my donors pay me enough to have ethics. I always seize on those moments, because I'm such a God-fearing person.
Yep, and I don't regret it.
No. It's not my place to judge what people want built in the privacy of their own basement.
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Who's your role model?
Shonda Rhimes. That lady is NAILING IT.
Gordon Gekko.
On a good day, George Washington. On a bad one, Richard Nixon.
Davy Crockett.
Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
How do like to you give back to society?
By inspiring and entertaining people, challenging preconceptions, and helping to redefine what's possible.
Why would I do that? What did society ever do for me?
By helping it see the right choice, and then punishing it for making any other choices.
Eff society.
I volunteer my time and skills.
How do you feel about routine?
I wish I could stick to one.
I like it. I go into work, I make money, I get money.
It's the only way to keep up with my brutal schedule.
Sometimes I rise with the sun, other times I party all night. It depends where I am and who I'm with.
I find it comforting.
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If you discovered you had disappointed your parents, you'd feel...
Not the least bit surprised. They wanted me to be an accountant.
Flabbergasted. It's like they don't even appreciate my Lambo.
I don't care what they think. I have the love of the crowd.
I'd be disappointed if I didn't.
Crushed.
What do your neighbors think about what you do?
They don't understand why I'm home so much. I think they think I'm unemployed.
I don't care as long as they're jealous of me.
They say they think I've sold out, but secretly they're grateful for my service.
What neighbors?
We don't really talk about work. We'd rather shoot pool, go bowling, get a barbecue going, all of that.
What would be your perfect idea of a vacation?
A remote chalet where I can carry on working without being connected to the Internet.
A luxury suite on Mustique with all my rich friends.
For now, someplace where I can buy local and be photographed doing it. But in future, I hear Camp David is nice this time of year.
A cosmopolitan city. I do sometimes need a break from my travels.
Disneyworld with my spouse and kids.
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Are you worried about the economy?
Absolutely. All my friends are so close to not making rent, the slightest wobble could sink them.
Yes. Sometimes it goes up when I bet the other way. That's super annoying.
Yes. I keep getting blamed for it. It's not fair.
Not really, though the exchange rate can be a problem if it suddenly swings the wrong way.
Terrified. If things get any worse, people will start mending their own stuff, and that means missing a mortgage payment.
Are you a people person?
Not really.
Only if I want something from them.
Absolutely! 30% of this country is made up of splendid people. Another 10-15% are great people for a few weeks every couple years. (Everyone else is One of Them and no use to me except as an amorphous Other I can use to scare the good people.)
I love meeting new people, though I never stay long.
Sure, especially if they pay on time.
Could you ever wear a uniform?
Heck, no.
Pinstripes are the only uniform I need.
I have nothing but respect and admiration for the men and women who wear the uniform. Please ignore my five deferments.
Is it safety gear? If no, then no.
I make it work if I have to.
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What sort of shape are you in?
Very good. I can go to the gym when no one else is there, which helps.
Between my trainer, my chef, my nutritionist, my dermatologist, and my surgeon, I look exactly the same as I did at 25. Don't I?
I'm absolutely beautiful. The newspapers just keep catching me at a bad angle.
I can climb a sheer cliff using nothing but my fingers and a couple of toothpicks. I'm basically a superhero.
I could lose a few, but my job's hard work, and it's so tempting to kick back with a beer at the end of the day.
What's the worst crime in your profession?
Plagiarism
Making a loss
Bipartisanship
Claiming to be first when you weren't
Doing shoddy work
Whose success in your profession completely baffles you?
Kim Kardashian. I'm not actually certain she's literate.
Bernie Madoff. I wish I could've done that.
I can't tell you because he (or she, totally could be a she) might tweet mean things about me and ruin my life.
Captain Oates. He reached the Pole second and died on the return trip but everyone's all, "He went out for a walk, how noble!"
Rudy the super. His work's shoddy, he's lazy, his attitude sucks, and he's hella racist, but he still gets to live on the Upper West Side and hardly do any work. Giving kickbacks to the chairman of the co-op board is a smart move, I guess.
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How would your ideal profession change?
Society would realize the value in what we do and stop expecting us to do it for free.
Everyone else would fail a little more than me so that I can be the winner ALL THE TIME. Otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing.
It'd be possible for an honest, decent person to reach the top.
Cheaper flights and better translation apps.
There would be training available to help us when the technology moves on.
How do you picture your retirement?
I try not to.
Yachting, horseracing, cruising, buying art. All with my second- no, my third (very hot, much younger) spouse.
I'd like to carry on suckling at the teat of the public purse as long as possible, then I'll go sit on some boards. One of them will be for a group that helps underprivileged kids because I'm such a good person.
I don't imagine I'll last that long.
I'm afraid. I save as best I can, but if I can't stay ahead of technology, it could be a thin time for us.
What's at the end of the rainbow?
A cabin in the mountains with my boo, still doing what I love.
Being able to afford private security to keep the riffraff away from my gate.
A statue of me on the Mall.
I don't know, but I'm going to keep seeking until I find it.
A fully paid-up suburban house and two kids through college debt-free.
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You Got: