What Kind of Christian Man Should You Marry?

By: Tasha Moore

What Kind of Christian Man Should You Marry?
Image: Ian Ross Pettigrew / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

This is an easy Christian matchmaking resource. No need to shell out cash for love experts! Answer some simple questions and we'll let you know what kind of Christian man you should marry.

Dating in the 21st century is already tricky; searching for the right Christian man can make matters even more difficult. Our priests and pastors mean well when offering us relationship advice, but there are so many pitfalls out there that even they might find it difficult to discern perfect compatibility suggestions for the love-seekers among their flocks.

The first step in finding your perfect Christian mate is to admit that there are different types of Christians with varying degrees of expectations. For example, some Christians see no point in going to a physical church at all, while others could not bear to call themselves redeemed if they did not attend every available church service. 

Once you establish what you will and won't tolerate, it's time to consider compromise. The premise of Christianity is that we've all come short of the glory of God. Are you willing to support your husband, no matter his faults?  Recall that a certain very special someone sacrificed his life so that believers might enjoy life and have it more abundantly. No matter what your brand of Christianity or level of tolerance, remembering the promise of Jesus Christ should help make your mate decisions much less complicated.

Let our Christian hubby quiz light the path to your ideal man!

How many children do you want?
I already have children: a Pomeranian named "Andy" and a Beagle named "Chucky."
I'll just have to deal with that when they get here.
How many kids will fit in a flashy, speedy two-seater?
As many as possible.

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What do you normally do after church on Sundays?
Vinyasa yoga
Video games
We hit up the buffet.
After church, I go to church.

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At what time do you go to bed at night?
You mean I'm not dreaming right now?
I dunno. What do you suggest?
After I'm certain that everyone else's eyes are closed.
Thirty-four minutes and three seconds after church service

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Is courting necessary before taking the marital plunge?
What plunge? I court for a lifetime.
No lawyers, please.
As long as he courts me in a very public place
Sure... when we go to court to get the marriage license.

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Do you reveal cleavage when rocking your daily wears?
Upper and bottom cleavage at all times
Only at the club every week
Cleavage is the hills and valleys that the Bible speaks of.
My cleavage is where Genesis meets Exodus, and where Exodus turns into Leviticus...

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What's your idea of the perfect date?
Wherever our imagination takes us
Up and down on a rollercoaster. Whee!
Anywhere I can be seen
Marriage

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Do you possess great cooking skills?
I can "cook up" any takeout number on my phone in mere seconds.
You never know what you'll get with my cooking.
I bought the nicest chef hat the other day to match my new manicure. You should see it!
Meat and potatoes are just what the good Lord intended.

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Did you experience a happy childhood?
"Did"? Life's still a playground!
It was okay. We moved around a lot.
Judging by my photo album, I had a fabulous childhood.
Heavens, no!

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Who was the head of your household when you were growing up?
Ginkgo Biloba
Mama
Me
Our Father... who art in heaven

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Will you spare the rod when it comes to rearing children?
I'd never hit my children; they might bite back.
I've spun a few poles and I came out just fine.
Especially when others are looking
Spare the rod, spoil a nation.

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Is being punctual important to you?
"Punctual" is evil. Get thee behind!
As the Bible says, "Ignore 'punctual' and it shall flee."
Jesus was on time, so everyone is expecting me to be on time. Amen!?
On-timeliness is next to godliness.

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Name your best beverage.
Mix it all up. I'll drink anything.
Anything but water
The trendiest beverage
Holy water

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Do you prefer that your man wears his shirt tucked in or left hanging out?
What shirt?
Let it all hang out, boo bae!
He just needs to tuck it in before the neighbors come over for tea.
Tucked in, suited and booted!

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What type of shoes do you like on a man?
I like my man barefoot and primal.
Sneakers
If the shoes don't produce corns and bunions, they're not worth wearing.
Dressy and rubber, for protection when lightning strikes all the heathens around him

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Would it make you uncomfortable if your husband yelled at the television show he's watching?
Why yell when you can sing to the television?
News shows, no; cartoons, yes.
I'd only be uncomfortable if he wasn't watching me.
Televisions are the devil's pulpit. None shall enter mine temple.

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What kind of Christian are you?
"I'm easy like Sunday morning."
An "at times I forget that I'm a Christian," kind of a Christian
I'm a walk-the-talk kind of a Christian. Do you need me to show you?
I'm a follower of Jesus Christ.

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How often do you go to church?
Whenever the wind blows in that direction
More than once a year
Every Sunday, during the most populated service
Every moment that I breathe

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Answer honestly: How clean is your home right now?
I honestly have no idea.
I will not!
How clean do you want it to be? It's that clean!
Cleanliness is next to godliness.

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Do you prefer the New Testament or the Old Testament?
Reading makes my brain hurt.
A little bit of this, and a little bit of that
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. New Testament.
Commandments, commandments, commandments. Old Testament.

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What's your favorite book of the Bible?
I hear that Adam and Eve were frolicky-free in Genesis.
Saul switched up his beliefs in Acts. Acts!
Any of the gospels; Pontius Pilate's attire must have looked fierce at Jesus' sentencing.
The Bible is my favorite book of the Bible.

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Where do you sit when you attend church?
On assorted laps in the congregation
I stand as close to the door as possible.
I make a procession to the front row.
I sit in the pulpit so that I can hear every word crystal clear.

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What role would you expect your man to serve in church?
Gluten-free onion. It gives me gas, but tastes delish!
Kitchen duty; I expect to get the best piece of chicken every time.
Any role that'll let everyone know that he's my man.
The pastor

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Do you wear a hat to church?
Hats crush my messy, earthy hairstyle, so I leave them in the store.
If my 'do isn't did, then I rock a hat.
Only wide-brimmed fashion exaggerations that block everyone's view of the pastor during the sermon.
I wear an open Bible on my head to absorb divine wisdom into my brain by osmosis.

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Are you a morning person?
Technically, what is morning?
I'm not a noon or night person either.
The sun shines brightest on me in the morning. It's showtime!
I get up before the birds get up.

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Have you ever been married before?
Does my live-in life partner count?
Let me count the ways...
Don't ask, 'cause I won't tell.
Yes, to Jesus.

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What's your favorite type of candy?
Mealworms, hold the salt
Anything handy and available
Mint
Sugar is bad for the soul.

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What's your idea of fun?
Bee fight!
Making the least amount of effort
Reading the Bible in full view of anyone who gives a darn about it
Whatever my sanctified man considers fun

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Have you ever been in a long-term relationship?
It just happens sometimes, okay?
Never too long
Word on the street is, my petals have been plucked. But I tend to disagree.
Blasphemy!

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Do you prefer to marry a rich or poor man?
He can lug around my money bag.
Even his name's got to be "Rich."
A fabulous lifestyle and personal TV ads are expensive these days.
The meek man shall inherit my heart.

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What's your zodiac sign?
Guess?
Pisces
I'm the zodiac sign that holds the mirror.
Revelation

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You Got:

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