What Kind of Dog Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Kind of Dog Are You?
Image: Dougal Waters / DigitalVision / Getty Images

About This Quiz

There are many ways to make a person feel good about themselves, and one of the best is by giving them a lovely and accurate compliment that highlights either a quality they know that people appreciate and secretly feel a little proud of, or that shows them you've noticed something about them that is rarely noted, perhaps even something they didn't think about themselves. A nice and simple way to do this, assuming that person is a dog lover, is to tell them the breed of which they most remind you. You will see their face light up as they conclude that you really, truly see them, and feel deeply validated.

Non-dog people might ask what is so complimentary about being compared to a dumb, hairy, slobbery beast. These people do not understand that for us dog people, dogs are the model of all that is good and decent and snuggly in this world. We measure the loyalty and trustworthiness of a person by how like a Labrador they are; their smarts and playfulness by how like a Collie they are; and their shyness by how like a shelter mutt they are. To say that a person is like one of these is thus a beautiful compliment. So, tell us about yourself, and we'll compliment you by showing you the doggie self you might - if you really were a dog - see (and doubtless, bark at) in the mirror!

How tenacious are you?
More than you'd think!
Not very
Somewhat
Totally

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Do you stand up to people even when they are bigger than you?
If I can!
Not really
No one is bigger than me.
Yes, of course

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What do people get wrong about you?
They think I'm weak.
They think I'm snooty.
They think I'm fierce.
They think I don't have many original thoughts.

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How hairy are you?
Not very
Fairly
Incredibly
Average

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Do you like to annoy people for no reason?
Yes!
Sometimes
Never
Once in a blue moon

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How hard do you like to work?
Somewhat
Not at all
Briefly, in spurts
All the time

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What environment makes you happiest?
Snuggling with my boo
Fancy city bar
Hiking the great outdoors
Working hard with my team

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What coat looks best on you?
Sleek pea coat
Two-tone faux fur
Big puffy winter coat
Tailored raincoat

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Would you like a ball?
Sure, why not.
A... a literal ball?
A ball! A ball! Yes, please!
Sure!

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What would you most like to hunt?
Rabbit
Mouse
Bear
Hare

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Do you ever give up?
Not until I can't go on
Yes, quite quickly
Yes, but not too fast
Never

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How's your sense of smell?
Very good
Average
Above average
Excellent

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What kind of people do you usually get on with best?
Feisty, creative ones
Smart, educated ones
Salt of the earth, honest ones
Honest, hardworking ones

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Do you usually like strangers?
Nope
If they seem cool
I'm suspicious at first
If we are introduced, sure

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How's your temper?
Ferocious
Slightly cool
Mild
Slightly hot

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Which (non-private) body part do you prefer to have rubbed?
Tummy
Ears
Back
Neck

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Which is better - one huge meal or many little ones?
Many little ones
Either is great
One huge one
I like a mix

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Do you have any self-discipline?
A pretty good amount
Not a lot
About average
Yes, loads

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Would your friends say you are reliable?
No, but I am.
No, and I'm not.
Yes, but I'm not sometimes!
Yes, and I am.

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Do you scare easily?
Yes, then I get angry!
Not really
Definitely no
If anything, it's the opposite

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Are you book-smart?
Somewhat, but I'm more other kinds of smart.
Yes, extremely
No, definitely not
Yes, fairly

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Can you adapt easily to a new situation?
It depends on the situation!
Yes, of course
Not really
Yes, if I am guided at first

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What makes you grouchy?
Being ignored
Being bored
Being alone
Being off work too long

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How much space do you somehow manage to take up, relative to your actual size?
Way more than you would think
I take up the amount of space I need, and no more.
I'm so big, it's really moot.
I sprawl, that's for sure.

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Are you comfortable in your own company?
I can be
Only for short periods
Nope
Sometimes

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What is the best surprise?
Toy
Massage
Food
A cool assignment

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How do you feel about exercise?
I only do it when necessary
I like only the amount my health requires
I like it fine
I love it!

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If you're hurt, how stoical are you?
Not at all
A little
Extremely
To a point that people have no idea I'm hurt, so it gets worse

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Do people think, rightly or wrongly, that you're somewhat out of touch?
I don't think so.
Yes, and they are right.
Yes, and they are wrong.
No

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What's your body type?
Small and wiry
Sleek and athletic
Huge and bearish
Stocky and attractive

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You Got:

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