What Kind of Doll Will You Possess When You Die?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Kind of Doll Will You Possess When You Die?
Image: Carol Yepes / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

If movies have taught us anything, it is that there is a long and proud tradition of dead people inhabiting dolls and creeping everyone out. The prominent example is Chucky, the serial killer star of the "Child's Play" movies. Others include "Dead Silence," from the makers of the "Saw" movies, "Dolls" in 1987, "Puppetmaster" in 1989 and "Annabelle" in 2017. 

Indeed, movies are replete with toys that come to life one way or another, whether it's due to a spell like in "Bedknobs & Broomsticks," or due to military-grade software, as in "Small Soldiers." Some of these animated figurines are benevolent, while others are set upon revenge, destruction or the administration of justice.

This means that should you find yourself departing this life in an untimely and premature manner, whatever your unfinished business, you will be able to find a corporeal form that you can inhabit, that will suit your personality and the particular mission you need to accomplish. Perhaps it will be a creepy Victorian doll with painted porcelain features. Maybe it will be something altogether furrier and cuddlier. Either way, tell us a little about yourself, and we'll figure out exactly where your roaming spirit will find its temporary plastic home. Let's get started!

What unfinished business will your ghost address first?
I will find my own killer- oh no, I've said too much!
I will make sure the one who hurt me loses their true love.
I will finally take revenge.
I will make sure my family is OK.

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Who will you try to drive insane?
My college roomie. Goodness, I can't stand her.
My ex. He's the worst.
All the mean boys at the LARP who wouldn't let me join
Nobody - quite the opposite

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How long will you possess the doll?
As long as it takes
Until I ruin my ex's new relationship
Until I am victorious
Until they don't need me anymore

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Who will play with the doll?
An unsuspecting little girl
No one - it'll sit on a shelf in some weirdo's collection.
A grown man who will regret it
A mom and her toddler

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Who currently owns it?
Grandma
This weird guy on my street
I do.
My BFF from high school

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When was your future doll home made?
1861
The early 2000s or later
The 1990s
The 1980s

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What did it cost to buy new?
A shilling
50 yen
About $10
$35

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Who will you tell that you are inside the doll?
Nobody
Only my dog
I'll tell my victims before I strike!
Just children, so they're not afraid.

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Are you going into the doll by choice, or is someone sending you?
The doll chooses.
I'm going in by choice.
I am being summoned by justice itself.
It's a choice. I have people to comfort.

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What evil powers will you have when you are possessing the doll?
I could tell you, but it would melt your brain.
None. I'll just be a doll.
I will be legion. Fear me.
I will be able to comfort anyone.

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Would you consider using your powers for good?
LOL, no
I mean, sure, but ... no.
My plan is good. It's just not good for everyone.
Yes! I will only do good.

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Will you work with any other possessed items?
Yes, many other similar dolls.
No. I work alone.
I am many. Behold my wrath.
Teddy bears, mostly

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Do you currently own any items you think might be possessed?
Probably
No, I have all sorts of wards up.
Definitely not. My cat would have warned me.
I don't know.

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What sort of games do you currently play with your dolls?
We have "tea."
I don't - they are just for a collection.
Cool nerdy games
I don't - I'm just holding onto them to give to my future kids.

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How old do you expect to live?
Probably pretty old
I was going to live to old age, but then my love left me, and now my heart is breaking.
I don't know!
I fear my time is nigh.

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What will your signature weapon be?
Knife. You can't beat a classic.
Trip wire
Catapult
Rainbows and love!

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Who will you have to avoid, so that they cannot force you to pass on?
Priests, duh!
Cats. They have their ways.
Once I assume my ultimate form, nobody can force me to do anything.
If they want me to pass on, I will.

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What will your possessed doll catchphrase be?
"Let's go out and plaaaaaaay."
"U-nye-boh-doo, I love you."
"Let's rock 'n' roll!"
"When you walk through a storm / Hold your head up high / And don't be afraid of the daaaaaaaark ..."

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Which famous movie about possession inspires you most?
"The Exorcist"
"Rosemary's Baby"
"Child's Play"
"Casper The Friendly Ghost"

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What sort of neighborhood do you live in?
A Victorian one with lots of big old houses with turrets, etc.
High rise skyscrapers all around
The 'burbs. Just the 'burbs.
Countryside cottage

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When you were little, did you have to put away your toys every night?
All the high-quality toys had to go in the trunk or on the shelves, but otherwise no.
Yes. My room looked like a mental institution when I was done. I'm not even exaggerating.
Mostly yes, though I didn't do a perfect job.
No - our house was a mess!

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Which story about toys coming to life do you like the best?
"Bedknobs and Broomsticks"
"Toy Story 2"
"Small Soldiers"
"The Indian in the Cupboard"

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Do you tend to follow the trends?
Of course not!
Absolutely
Only up to a point
I used to.

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Who is your worst enemy in this life?
I don't know their name. I just know they're out there.
My ex
Bullies
I don't have any enemies.

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What will your possessed doll do just to make people feel slightly weird?
Follow them with its eyes.
Turn on even when there are no batteries inside.
Rearrange everything in the house - but only slightly.
Nothing!

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How will you fly around terrifyingly?
I will just levitate.
I'll bounce.
I'll build elaborate structures and parachute from them.
I'll use rainbow magic!

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Will you let your dog know that you are now in doll form?
Only if I need help
I think my dog will figure it out.
No, it will just be sad.
I won't have to. It'll know.

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What will be your ghost weakness?
Smash my doll body and I pass on.
I will be limited by what my doll body can do.
I will have none.
My loved ones!

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Who would direct the movie of your haunting activities?
M. Night Shyamalan
Jordan Peele
Alfred Hitchcock
Ava DuVernay

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If your doll self is unable to talk, how will you communicate with the living?
Morse code blinking
My doll will be able to talk.
Writing on an Etch-a-Sketch
Hugs

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You Got: