What Military Nickname Do You Deserve?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Military Nickname Do You Deserve?
Image: Thinkstock Images / Stockbyte / Getty Images

About This Quiz

When we turn our minds to military history, many names come to mind. What is crazy is how many of those names were either nicknames, or variations on the names of the leaders in question. Peter the Great was in fact named Peter, but his last name was not "the Great". Genghis Khan's name was neither Genghis nor Khan. It was Temüjin. Does the name Bennosuke sound familair? How about Bennosuke's later nom de guerre, Miyamoto Musashi, a name synonymous with sword mastery and military strategy in Japan? The Desert Fox was the name bestowed on Irwin Rommel by the British, just as Charles Martel's "surname" translates as "hammer" and refers to his battle prowess, not his heritage.

Military nicknames can come from anywhere. Watch the credits of Top Gun and you'll read the call signs of the pilots who flew the aircraft in the film. Watch the film Full Metal Jacket and you'll see a representation of how some soldiers get their nicknames in the cruelest way possible. We came up with a gentle, fun way for you to find your military nickname! You don't need a Parris Island haircut or a wingman to get one anymore! Just take this quiz, and we'll give you a unique nickname that reflects your soldierly qualities!

At what age would you enlist?
20
22
21
18

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Who do you think will enlist with you, of the people you know?
My childhood best friend
No one
My cousin
My sibling

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What skill would you excel in, in basic training?
Shoe polishing
Edged weapons
Firearms
Long distance running

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What sort of specialty would you be most interested in?
Journalism, for Stars and Stripes
I just want to be infantry.
Artillery
Medicine

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What is your best weapon?
My wits
Anything that holds an edge
Surprise!
Patience

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How would you take out a sentry in an urban setting?
I'd sneak past.
I'd garrote him.
I'd take him out with a sniper rifle.
I'd choke him out.

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What is your preferred hand-weapon?
A pen!
A tomahawk
An M1911
An M-4

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Which vehicle would you most like to drive/pilot?
A WW2 era Jeep
A horse
The XM1202 Mounted Combat System
An M1 Abrams tank

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Which branch of the service interests you the most?
The Army
The Marines
The Air Force
The Navy

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How long do you want to stay in?
5-8 years
20 years
30 years
Life

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What are your plans for after you get your discharge papers?
Work as a war correspondent
High end bodyguard
Work in investment banking
Become a fitness instructor

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How important is it that you have a combat role?
Oh, I don't mind! Give it to someone who really wants it. Don't worry about little old me.
It's the only reason I'm enlisting.
I'd really like the experience.
It's something I'd like, if it has to happen.

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All things being equal, where in the world would you most like to serve?
South Korea
Afghanistan
The Middle East/North Africa
Europe

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Who do you think is the biggest threat the US military needs to face?
Cyberattacks
Enemy infintration
Conventional military threats from conventional enemies
Things we can't even imagine yet

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What style of hand to hand do you favor?
Foot to shin, then run away!
Sayoc System Knife and Stick Fighting
LINE (Linear Infighting Neural-Override Engagement)
MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program)

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What rank do you aspire to?
Corporal
Captain
General/Admiral
Colonel

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What video game do you think gives the most accurate representation of military life?
Goat Simulator
Hitman
Command and Conquer
Medal of Honor

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What movie badass is your military role model?
Pvt. Joker (Full Metal Jacket)
Casey Ryback (Under Siege)
Jed (Red Dawn)
Thomas Beckett (Sniper)

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What song do you put on the squad mix tape, when you have to go on patrol?
Bad Company (Bad Company)
Thong Song (Sisqo)
All I Do Is Win (DK Khaled)
Ich Will (Rammstein)

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What's your idea of a funny practical joke, on base?
Plastic wrap under the toilet seat
Tripwires
Carry someone outside while they're asleep, bed and all
Fill the shampoo bottle with baby powder

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How young do you plan on getting married?
I don't know.
Before 25
22
26

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What skills do you think you'll continue to hone after your service is over?
Fitness
Combat skills
Strategic planning
Mental toughness

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What games will you play in the field to take your mind off the boredom?
Card games
Five Finger Fillet
Chess
Horse

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Once you're allowed to style yourself a little, what sort of personal grooming will you cultivate?
Chops
A full beard
A broom mustache
A handlebar mustache

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Would you rather be deployed overseas most of the time, or stay on bases in the USA?
I'd rather be oversees, I think.
Definitely send me overseas.
I might prefer to be in the US, if on the right base.
I'd much rather spend most of my time in the USA.

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If you were stuck in a sticky situation, who would you want to come to your rescue?
Navy SEALs
A hot Corpsman
Air support
Artillery support

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Of these people, which American military man do you admire the most?
Douglas MacArthur
Ernest Hemingway
William Tecumseh Sherman
George Custer

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What tactic would you lean on for invading a frontier enemy base?
Psyops
Infiltrate at night, and silently kill everyone
Pummel the base with bombs until it surrenders, or it's no longer even dust
Siege

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What would make you most comfortable, in a combat situation?
Not being shot at
The feeling of my favorite knife in my favorite hand
Seeing everything through a long range scope
Knowing time is on my side

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How likely is it you'll actually join the military?
Fairly likely
It's certain
Almost certain
Not very likely

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You Got:

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