What Military Rank Does Your Dog Deserve?

Teresa McGlothlin

Image: Stocktrek Images / Stocktrek Images / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Your dog might be the true ringleader in your house, but you don't mind at all. Our relationships with our dogs are some of the deepest in the world, and we think they could run the universe if they were given the chance. Before we go assigning your dog to the role of Commander in Chief, let's first find out how well they would rank in the military.

The only way to find out which military rank that your dog could earn is to get to know everything about them. Is your dog a natural born leader, or does it look to you to give all the orders? Once you tell us about your relationship, your dog's quirks and the things that you find irresistible about that adorable face, and we'll assign them the military rank that they really deserve.

Dogs might have a great life, but they are also highly disciplined creatures that would never leave a man behind. Whether you see your dog as more of an Admiral or a General, every answer you give us will let you know if you are right. Do you think your dog will enjoy its newfound title, or will you have some training to do?

When your dog wants to go for a walk, how does it let you know?

My dog goes over to the door.

My dog brings me a leash.
I can usually tell by the way my dog is acting.

I have to beg my dog to go for a walk.

How does your dog react to meeting a new dog?

My dog pees a little.

My dog is excited to get a good sniff.
My dog is a little skeptical about other dogs.

New dogs put my dog on full alert.

Which cartoon dog does your dog have the most in common with?

Scooby Doo

Pluto
Brian Griffin

Snoopy

In your eyes, what is your dog's cutest feature?

My dog's eyes are adorable.

It would have to be its markings.
That little snout makes me melt.

A wagging tail always disarms me.

How did you meet your canine military leader?

We met at a shelter.

My dog was a stray when I found it.
I met my dog at a pet store.

I found my dog in the classified ads.

Does your dog like it when you are affectionate with others?

I do get a little side eye sometimes.

It lets my dog know that the person is safe.
My dog gets a little sulky when I'm affectionate with others.

If my dog likes the person, it's not a problem.

What do you think your dog thinks about when it sees a cat?

I think my dog thinks they are toys.

My dog thinks that cats are cuddle buddies.
My dog considers cats a fluffy snack.

I have no idea what my dog is ever thinking.

Which human food would your dog most like to have for dinner?

Anything I'm eating will do.

My dog could eat nothing but peanut butter for the rest of its days.
My dog loves snack foods.

My dog shares my love of steak.

Which one is lazier: you or the dog?

We both have our moments.

My dog would say I'm the lazier one.
My dog is far lazier than me.

I definitely have less energy than my dog.

Does your dog do all the talking in the relationship?

I'm more vocal than the dog.

I try to talk to the dog, but it doesn't listen.
The dog talks more than I do.

We have long, in-depth conversations on a regular basis.

Do you allow your dog to sleep with you?

Where else is it supposed to sleep?

My other pets get the honor of sleeping with me.
My dog has its very own bed.

My dog sleeps in various places throughout the day.

What is your dog's favorite way to exercise?

Fetch is my dog's favorite game.

We like to go jogging or hiking together.
My dog likes to run around my yard sniffing things.

Believe it or not, my dog loves to swim.

Would you agree when we say that your dog is bossy?

I'm the boss in this relationship.

My dog runs the show.
The dog is bossy with the other pets.

My dog is too laid-back to be bossy.

Does your dog ever get mad at you?

I don't think so.

My dog is always mad at me.
Dogs do not get mad at humans.

Probably, but it's hard to tell.

How would you describe your dog's bark?

It's loud and proud.

It's intimidating and scary.
It's squeaky and hilarious.

It's yappy and meaningful.

What was the first trick your pooch learned to do?

Roll over

Sit
Stay

Play dead

Have you noticed your dog being afraid of anything?

My dog dislikes thunderstorms.

My dog does not like the postman.
My dog fears nothing.

My dog doesn't like smaller dogs.

Which of the following things would your dog prefer to chase?

Other dogs

Balls
Sticks

Cars

What do you think your dog dreams about?

I'm sure my dog dreams about running free.

I think my dog dreams about food.
My dog dreams about me, of course.

My dog dreams of meeting a partner in doggie crime.

Which dog-related movie could have been written about your dog?

"Beethoven"

"Bolt"
"Marley & Me"

"Hachi: A Dog's Tale"

How does your dog react when it hears about bath time?

My dog runs and hides.

The dog is in the bathroom before I can get there.
It pretends to ignore me.

My dog gets excited until it hears the water.

What is your dog like when children are around?

My dog is in heaven when kids are around.

It appoints itself Chief Child Protector.
My dog runs from kids like they are scary.

My dog likes children more than adults.

When new people enter your home, what does your dog do?

My dog goes on full alert.

My dog checks for treats and then ignores them.
Nothing, my dog does nothing.

First, my dog checks to see my reaction.

How would you rank your dog on a scale of obedience?

Professional

Wildcard
Newbie

Retiree

How long, in human years, have you had your dog?

Over 10 years

A couple of years
A few months

A little over a year

Regardless of its actual breed, which dog breed does your dog act most like?

Chihuahua

Labrador retreiver
German shepherd

Pug

Could your dog be trained to become a police dog?

Anything is possible.

My dog wouldn't be interested in being a police dog.
My dog is more of a firehouse dog.

My dog is too lazy to be a police dog.

Which gift would you buy your dog for its birthday?

Dogs do not celebrate birthdays.

I would buy my dog a big bone.
I buy a new leash and a new collar every year.

I'm not sure when my dog was born.

Which personality trait do you and your dog share?

Confidence

Brains
Empathy

Perfectionism

What is it about your dog that makes such a great pet?

My dog loves me unconditionally.

It's a fairly low-maintenance pet.
My dog is smarter than most people.

My dog lets me know when things aren't right.

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