What Monty Python character are you?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
What Monty Python character are you?
Image: TMDB

About This Quiz

And now for something completely different. "Monty Python's Flying Circus" was, and still is, one of the coolest and funniest television shows of all time. The comedy group then went on to do a series of movies, all of which were excellent but probably the best was "Monty Python's Holy Grail."

If you've seen that movie more than 20 times, we wouldn't think it was odd. It really is that good. The fact that it first was put on television in 1969 was all the more amazing; there is nothing on TV today that is even close to being as experimental as that show was almost 50 years ago. 

So many of the characters that Monty Python came up with were nothing short of genius. All of them are hard to forget, and some of them, like the Black Knight, the Gumbys, one of the people at the ministry of silly walks, or the man at the argument clinic, are simply brilliant.

What about you? You're pretty funny and just a little bit odd if you don't mind us saying so. If you were to be one of the totally bizarre characters of Monty Python which one would you be? You're going to have to take this quiz to find out. Do it soon, or we will taunt you a second time. 

What is your quest?
To stay alive.
To climb the ziggurat of Woman society.
I seek the Holy Grail.
To serve my king and find the Grail.

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What is the capital of Assyria?
I've never been there.
There is no Assyria now. There are the provinces of Syria, Cilicia, and Judea.
Nineveh.
I don't know that- AAAAAARRRRRGH!

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Whom would they have you release?
Me please!
I shall welease Wodger!
I don't take prisoners.
I hope they release me!

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Are you an individual?
We're all individuals.
I am a very important individual!
I am King! That's the best sort of individual.
Yes, but please don't pay too much attention to me.

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What's for dinner?
What about those juniper bushes over there?
Grapes served by my slave.
Ham and jam and spam.
As long as it's not me, I don't care.

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What's your signature style?
Dirty leper.
Magnificent prelate.
Royal warrior.
Brave knight.

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We are no longer the knights who say NIH, we are now the knights who say....
I don't know any knights.
It's too soon for knights.
Ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
I don't know, I'm running away too fast to hear.

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Do you see the violence inherent in the system?
Heck yes. It's ruining my life.
Yes, and I support it.
What violence?
I try to avoid violence.

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How do you know if someone is a witch?
There's no such thing.
She is if I say so.
If she weighs the same as a duck.
Witches? Where?

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What's the meaning of life?
You have to figure that out for yourselves. Did I mention you're all individuals?
To serve Rome and say the letter R properly.
To love God and find the Holy Grail.
To stay alive as long as possible.

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What's the proper way to greet an enchanter?
I don't know. I hope I never meet an enchanter.
Tell him I'm going to crucify him.
Greetings, Name the Enchanter!
I ask him what he likes to be called and ask him not to hurt me.

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Do you believe in aliens?
Certainly do, and I appreciate them.
You mean dirty foreigners within our empire? Sadly yes.
So, but I do believe in lake-dwelling damsels.
I hope not!

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Which is correct?
Romanii ite domum.
Womanii ite domum.
Romanes eunt domus.
Romanun errant dominum.

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How do we get inside the castle?
I don't want to get inside, I'm trying to get out.
I'm already in the castle.
Storm the gates.
Jump out of the rabbit!

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Who is your mother?
A respectable widow.
A wespectable Woman woman.
Igraine. She was definitely not a hamster.
Beats me.

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What does your father do?
He's Jewish, I know that. Definitely not a Roman.
He's a Roman prelate.
He was a king, and absolutely didn't smell of elderberries.
I'm not sure.

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Who's your best friend?
The Judean People's Front- I mean, the People's Front of Judea.
Bigus Dickus. He commands a crack legion! He ranks as high as any in Rome!
Bedivere.
My minstrels.

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Who is your role model?
Jesus. He just seems like a nice dude.
Caesar. Hail that guy.
Uther, King of the Britons.
Lancelot. He's just so frigging brave.

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What's your job?
Snack seller.
I keep order among the Judeans.
I serve God and the realm, and find Grails.
I am a brave knight who bravely fights for the truth, with braveness.

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What's the best way to kill someone?
Stoning.
Crucifixion.
Sword.
Let someone else do it.

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What's your girlfriend's name?
Judith.
I don't name my slave girls.
Guinevere.
I am so brave that I do not have time for girlfriends.

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Where do you live?
With my mother.
In a magnificent castle.
Camelot. It is a silly place.
Somewhere safe, I hope.

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How do you feel about rabbits?
They're fine I guess.
They are my least favorite wodent.
Those little bastards killed some of my best men.
Run away!

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Who is your nemesis?
The Romans.
Campaign for a Free Galilee.
The French.
That three-headed dude.

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What's your group called?
It's the Popular Front- no, hang on, it's gone again.
We are the Womans!
The Britons.
The bravest of the brave. We're very brave.

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Christianity, yay or nay?
What's Christianity?
Absolutely nay.
We serve Christ our Lord.
Yay indeed. It preaches non-violence.

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What would you rather sing?
Always look on the bright side of life!%0DAlways look on the bright side of life%0DIf life seems jolly rotten,%0DThere's something you've forgotten!%0DAnd that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing,%0DWhen you're feeling in the dumps,%0DDon't be silly chumps,%0DJust purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing!%0DAnd always look on the bright side of life.
I don't sing. For some reason people just laugh at me.
We're knights of the round table%0DWe dance whenever we're able%0DWe do routines and chorus scenes%0DWith footwork impeccable!
...his head smashed in %0DAnd his heart cut out %0DAnd his liver removed %0DAnd his bowls unplugged %0DAnd his nostrils raped %0DAnd his bottom burnt off %0DAnd his-%0DThat's all I can remember.

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Coconuts. What are they good for?
I don't know what that is.
There are many fine fruits in the empire.
I feel like this question mocks my brave steed.
Riding across the land of course.

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What do you do during your time off?
I try to avoid getting into any more trouble.
I go to Rome and see my friends.
There's always another quest.
It depends, but certainly not running away, that's for sure.

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What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What's a swallow?
I don't know, but I know swallows taste nice with a little honey dressing.
What do you mean? African or European swallow?
I don't know that- AAAAAAAARRRRRGH!

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You Got: