What Palace Job Would Be Right For You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
What Palace Job Would Be Right For You?
Image: Granger Wootz/Blend Images/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Obviously, some people can run a palace primarily just by singing to their animal friends, who then come to their aid by doing all the cooking, cleaning, and necessary repairs. It seems pretty clear that the animals just know what needs doing and that they do it all to high professional standards - and they don't seem very bothered by the fact that they're not being paid. They all work together in perfect unity, and they need no management whatsoever.

Of course, any real princess can tell you that running a real palace is a whole lot more complicated than this. You need all sorts of tiers of management, with multiple departments: from the people whose job is to maintain the physical palace and the workers within it, to those who protect it, to those who keep it fiscally healthy, to those who simply work there in a governing, entertaining, clerical, or religious capacity. That means everyone from the blacksmith to the maids to the sentries to the chamberlain's office to the scribes to the chaplain. It's a huge enterprise, essentially similar to running a midsize company.

Where would you fit into the mix? It's time to find out!

Are you good with numbers?
Excellent
Decent
A little
I hate and fear numbers.

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What are horses for?
Pulling a carriage
You know, I really don't know!
Staying away from me!
Transport

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How funny are you?
Not a bit
I'm witty.
Hilarious
I hate and fear comedy.

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Do you want to hang out with the king on the regular?
Yes please, daily
Once in a while
Yes, a couple times a week
I don't want that, no.

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Do you have a steady hand?
Somewhat
Yes, it's superb.
Only when juggling
Only with a sword

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What sort of family are you from?
Aristocratic
Upper middle class
Middle class
Working class

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What's your idea of a great work uniform?
Robes
Tunic and pants
Harlequin pants
Armor

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Do you mind shift work?
I could never do that.
I work random hours naturally anyway.
I don't mind working late, but I won't do long hours.
I love it!

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How physically robust are you?
I have seen better days.
I'm frail.
I'm wiry and surprisingly strong.
I'm very strong.

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What age do you want to retire?
I'll die at my desk.
70
65
60

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Have you ever served in the military, or if you haven't, would you?
I did, yes.
Nope
I could never, and would never.
I still am!

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Where would you like to sit in the Great Hall?
Beside the king
At the intellectuals table
At the fun table
At the ordinary people table

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Do you want a shot, however remote, at marrying the prince or princess?
Yes please
A very remote one, maybe
Not really
I'm already married.

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Are you a woman?
No
That's a 50/50 shot!
I might be.
Definitely no

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What weapon do you know how to use?
Money
Pen
Wit
All the ones that cut

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Do you get cold easily in chilly weather?
These days, I do, yes.
Not really
Yes, kinda
No, nothing bothers me.

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What's your ideal of success?
Becoming a duke and marrying well
Writing something beautiful and moving
Making good money for making people laugh
Reaching pensionable age and providing for my family in the meantime

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Besides a horse, what animal would you like to work with?
None
Raven
Monkey
Falcon

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Who do you want for a boss?
The king
A professor
Myself
Sergeant

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Do you want to manage anyone else?
Yes, many people
A few might be cool
I could do with a partner.
No thank you

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Can you handle the stairs?
Yes, though I can be a little slower.
Just about
Sure, I leap up them like a goat.
Of course

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What languages do you speak?
French, Latin, German...
All of them
A little of this, a little of that
Just English

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How much does it matter to you that this particular king stays in power?
A lot
I certainly prefer it.
It matters a bit.
I don't care at all.

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Which scene of a Shakespeare play would you first appear in, doing what you do?
Scene two, with the king
Scene six, complaining about the king
Scence four, telling the king to stop being a jerk
Scene one, seeing a ghost on the battlements

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How would your character make out in the course of a Christopher Marlowe play?
Oh, I would be murdered.
I'd pop in here and there.
I would not be in a Marlowe play.
I would kill the Chamberlain.

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Do you have a good height for heights?
Not really
Nope
Mostly
Sure

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Which palace department do you definitely NOT want to work in?
Stables
Kitchen
Armory
Library

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Is there any chance that you will be put out of work by a singing mouse or mopping bird?
I highly doubt it.
It's possible if the world is a Disney movie.
A small, small one
No, but an elephant might get in my way.

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If the king goes on his royal tour, what are the odds you're going with him?
100%
50%
80%
20%

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Where does your family live?
In my own castle
In my apartment in the castle
I don't have one.
In my little cottage near the castle

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You Got:

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