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What % Princess Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel

4 min

What % Princess Are You?

Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

There was a time that being a princess, in the real world, was simply a matter of being born into the right family, or if you were very fortunate, marrying into it. You had to produce an heir, but other than that, very little was expected of you in terms of good looks, morals, fashion sense, or anything of the sort. If you were a Disney princess you may well get to do some magical things and probably have a really great animal sidekick, but sadly, real princesses historically didn't even get to enjoy those things.

Nowadays, however, being a princess - whether real or fictional - is about far more substantive things. Princesses are refined, educated, and extremely well-connected. Real life princesses have to be diplomats who know everything about global affairs but simultaneously avoid meddling in politics, all while ensuring that the charities they patronize are well-served. They are figureheads who provide a little sparkle and hope to people, conferring awards and positions of honor upon civilians. They typically speak a number of languages, dress beautifully, and conduct themselves with tremendous dignity.

Do you have what it takes to be a princess? Take this quiz to get your princess percentage!

How many languages do you speak?

4

3

2

1 - just about!

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How blue is your sense of humor?

Very, but only in private.

Not at all

Somewhat

Entirely

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Do you have a filter between brain and mouth?

Yes, several

Yes, it's quite good

When I really want to

F*** no

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How many charities do you support?

My foundation backs 7 at the moment.

4

1

None but I do volunteer at Christmas.

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Can you wear linen without creasing it?

Huh. I didn't know linen creased.

Usually, yes.

Depends on the humidity.

No, I'm not a sorceress.

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Can you run on high heels?

Yes, like a character in a Spielberg movie!

Yes, like a New York executive!

I can do a sort of hop-skip-step.

No, that is not physically possible.

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Can you wear white without spilling?

I never spill.

Of course.

Usually!

Nope.

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Can you make absolutely anyone feel comfortable no matter who they are?

Yes, I'm really fortunate in being able to do that.

Usually, yes.

Sometimes, it depends whether I'm having my best day.

Not really.

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How often do you get the giggles in public?

Very rarely, and when I do it's charming.

Never!

Once in a while.

All the time.

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Are you easily bored?

No, I could sit through a reading of the phone book.

Not really.

Kinda, yeah.

Yes.

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Can you sing in tune?

Like a nightingale.

Like a sparrow.

Like an owl.

Like a vulture.

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Do you like ceremonies and traditions?

I adore them!

I like them.

They're fine sometimes.

They are stupid and people who like them are also stupid.

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Do you like horses?

I love them, and they love me!

They're great!

They're pretty but also dangerous.

I hate and fear those ugly brutes.

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Do you plan to have at least three babies?

I would love five!

Three sounds perfect.

One or two is surely enough.

I hate kids.

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How big should a hat be, ideally?

Enormous, like a small planet on your head.

Large, like a sombrero.

Quite big if possible.

Hats should not be worn except under protest - even if I can pull them off.

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How often do you like to have your hair done?

Daily, please!

Every other day.

Twice a week.

Don't touch my hair, bro.

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Is there any topic on which you do not have an opinion?

I have opinions but you won't hear them in public.

I have no opinions.

There are a few.

I have all the opinions.

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Do you have any naughty habits?

You can't believe what you read in the tabloids.

Of course not.

One or two.

I am literally chewing my own fingernail right now.

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What happens when you get low blood sugar?

I feel a bit crappy.

I need a snack.

I get grouchy.

Somebody dies.

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Do you mind always being "on"?

I love it!

I like it fine.

I can deal.

No.

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Do you play a musical instrument?

I play the harp and the piano.

I play the guitar.

I can bash out "chopsticks" on a keyboard.

No.

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Do you intend to grow old disgracefully?

I never do anything disgracefully.

Of course not.

I am considering all options.

Obviously.

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How many days a week do you say "screw it" and just leave the house looking like you fell off the back of a truck?

I have never done that.

One, but I always reconsider.

Two.

All the days.

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What do you think of etiquette rules?

They are a good idea so people know what is expected.

They're useful to stop me putting my foot in it.

They're fine.

They are exclusionary nonsense and I hate them.

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How many new names can you remember in one go?

The whole phone book, basically.

20 or more.

3-5 or so.

One but I have to be reminded three or four times.

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How good is your curtsey?

Perfection

Good

Adequate

Curtseys are stupid

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Do you like going to church?

I love it!

I like it!

I hate it but I'm very good at pretending to like it.

I hate it and I don't care who knows.

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How important is privacy?

Not very; and when you have a huge palace, it's surprisingly easy to maintain.

Not at all!

Somewhat.

Intensely important.

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Would you die for your country?

I would love the opportunity to do that!

I guess, if I had to.

Maybe. Depends why.

No, that is totally stupid.

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How refined are you?

Like a gallon of gasoline!

Like naphtha.

Like a barrel of crude oil.

Like a barrel's worth of oil still in the ground.

You Got:

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