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About This Quiz
Looking past the stereotypes of the Scandinavian countries, they're actually a pretty happy bunch of people. Denmark has been voted as the happiest country on Earth ... could it be because they also eat more pasta than any other country in the world? Sweden takes just about every holiday and makes the most of it, including going house to house on Easter getting treats. We can't forget about Norway, either! What other happy-go-lucky place would actually knight a penguin?
Life wasn't always as happy as it is right now. The tumultuous history of the Scandavanian region begins with the less-than-glamourous colonization of the area by barbarians. Those who decided to flee to the region were fed up with rules and regulations of their roots further south. In search of fortune and happiness, people boarded ships carrying upward of 60 men. They pioneered into the harsh elements that the Baltic, North and Norwegian Sea offered them. It took a healthy body and a stronger mind to survive such a voyage.
It's hard to look at the jovial Scandinavian culture of today and place the trials and tribulations on the descendants of them, though. If it were you, traveling across the rumbling sea on a frosty longboat in 830 AD, what would your fellow shipmates call you? They didn't use names like "Buddy" and "Smitty" back then, the terms of pseudo-endearment were a bit more colorful!
Take our quiz and let us guess what you'd be called while trading your wares in a Scandanavian marketplace of yore.
Drinking orange juice then brushing your teeth directly after
Sending sensitive documents through the shredder
Telling coworkers about your magnificent weekend
Completing a rigorous hour-long beauty ritual
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Relaxing on the shore with a fishing pole
Sailing the seas pillaging other boats for gold
Amassing a collection of literature and exotic birds
Cross-stitch and occasional gardening
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How you feel about yourself after unsuccessfully attempting to solve a Rubix cube
How you feel about yourself after a labor-intensive day at work as a lumberjack
How you feel about yourself after acing a slideshow presentation on sustainability
The way you feel about yourself after you check your outfit in any reflective surface
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Midsummer, as if there is any other choice! How could you not love a holiday revolving around rebirth, flowers and a May Pole?
Easter, because in Scandinavia, you dress as you would on American Halloween and pillage your neighbors politely for treats!
Ascension Day, because there is nothing better than sitting back and being grateful for what you have and what you don't
Fastelavn, when the North countries turn into a Brazilian-style carnival and you can finally let your guard down and party hard
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The winter months, because you're not the type of person who worships the sun
The summer, because you love being able to work on your tan for 18 hours a day
The autumnal season, because you enjoy reflecting on the changing of seasons
The spring, because you enjoy watching the fruit trees blossom with potential
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"Despierta Ferro!" You beckon your enemies to wake up and engage in fighting.
"Odin Owns You All!" Your way of using a confusion tactic to distract your opponents
"Currahee!" You're stating that you stand alone and don't need help.
"Alala!" You're pleading for the goddess of War to scar your opponents.
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Shop at boutique shops and putting your purchases on a high-interest credit card
Volunteer at the local soup kitchen dishing out bowls of lukewarm but hearty stew
Act as president for a few local clubs including Bird Watchers International and The Lions Club
Visit the local ax-throwing range and then maybe squeeze in a session or two of paintball
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Pimples
A thief
Sore throat
Socks with holes
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Not very important, with mostly jeans and T-shirts
A proper appearance is crucial to keep up your reputation, with a closet full of flannel.
If you want to act smart you need to look smart, with collared shirts and slacks.
Appearances are important for respect, so never leave the house in a non-tailored outfit.
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The Oakland Raiders should NOT move to Las Vegas.
Fyodor Dostoevsky is far superior to Leo Tolstoy.
A 501c3 is nothing but a tax shelter for the rich.
The sun doesn't really cause skin cancer, sunscreen does.
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"They left a trail of destruction after them, and ran with a sort of limp!"
"They tried to talk their way out of it before fleeing the scene!"
"We're not sure if they knew what they were doing, the entire time!"
"They paused to fix their hair and adjust their shirt before taking off!"
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Smögen, Sweden
Dragr, Denmark
Odense, Denmark
Bergen, Norway
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The showerhead.
Impossible at times.
Correction, cleanliness can be construed in different ways. Clarification of terms, please.
Overrated most of the time, but it does keep disease at bay.
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"Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life"
The 1956 adaptation of "War and Peace"
"Full Metal Jacket"
"The Devil Wears Prada"
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"I hope I can get a few games of tablut in before the daily duties beckon me away!"
"I hope using my fingers as a comb will be good enough for today, my comb got broken last night in a comb fight."
"Maybe if I work really hard again today, the sun will come out tomorrow, these past few months have been rough!"
"Did I remember to send my chainmail out for polishing yesterday, or will I have to go into battle looking frumpy?"
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Cards Against Humanity
Ticket To Ride
Monopoly
Mystery Date
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The glass is half empty and should remain that way, gluttony is shameful!
The glass is half full, but somebody better come fill it to the top before heads roll!
The glass is whatever it is, who pays attention to that sort of thing anyway?
The glass is but a vessel for whatever decides to occupy the cup area, always in flux.
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Where did the teacher send the Viking when he got sick in class? - - The school Norse!
What do Vikings do on Black Friday? - - Shop the sails!
Which Viking rides around on Halloween to scare people? - - The Headless Norseman!
Why couldn’t anyone play cards with the Viking sailor? - - He was standing on the deck.
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A bearded ax of wrought iron
A bow and arrow made of yew
The tongue, which is mighter than the sword
A narrow long seax with an antler handle
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Low-slung leather loafers with a decorative tie on top
Mid-calf 28-holed Dr. Martins with a steel-toe
Dansko professional clogs with hardly any sole left
Immaculate low-top Chuck Taylors with a monogram
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Mustard yellow and indigo blue in a checkered pattern
Midnight black on ebony black in a striped pattern
Harvest gold interweaved with a scarlet red to create a herringbone
Sky blue against an azure triangular pattern
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Baby prawn pickled in a brine skewered on a tiny toothpick.
Pan-seared whitefish in a bed of arugula drizzled with mustard sauce.
Pickled herring out of a can placed on a slightly stale soda cracker.
Freshwater Pike stew with plenty of potatoes and onions with a hunk of bread.
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H&M
IKEA
The Give Away Shop
Amazon
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"Money, Love and Change" by Trey Anastasio
"Du Hast" by Rammstein
"Hello" by Adele
"Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj
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Prestakaffi, to put some thick hair on your chest
Turkaffe, sippable over the course of many hours
Sumppi, in other words, burnt and bold
Hland, as far away from coffee as you can get while still being titled coffee
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An accounting ledger and a hopeful half-dead houseplant
A novelty-sized mace and a few random teeth
Various leather-bound books, all with bookmarked locations
A hand mirror and a few rose petals from a long-gone bouquet
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A black stallion that stands 18 hands high
A bicycle with a wicker basket attached to the handlebars
Public transportation, but sometimes Uber
A well-loved Volvo station wagon
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A savage-like, tousled look that mimics your hair when you first get out of bed
A reverse mullet contained to two braids running along your hairline
One long unisex fishtail braid that drapes over your left shoulder
A crewcut that looks as if it should have been cut a few weeks ago
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LinkedIn
Social media is stupid.
Snapchat
Facebook
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Egil Skallagrimsson, the warrior who was able to write a poem so great that it saved his life
Eric Bloodaxe, the warrior who killed all but one of his brothers in order to take the throne
Gunnar Hamundarson, the famous warrior who could jump as tall as he stood while wearing full armor
Freydis Eiríksdóttir, the wild warrior woman who terrified her opponents, even while eight months pregnant
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You Got:
