What Signs Are You Sending to Your Suitors?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Signs Are You Sending to Your Suitors?
Image: damircudic / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

One of the great advantages of today's culture is that the idea of simply telling your partner what you want, when and how is considered pretty darn normal. However, it's one thing to be totally frank with a partner who you know loves or likes and respects you, when you're absolutely sure that they are the one for you. It can be a lot more difficult to be upfront when you don't actually know what you want, or whether this person is actually that into you.

Inevitably, it feels like whoever shows more interest has the most to lose, which can lead to something of a guessing game. Cutting through the "red tape" and simply stating your piece can put some people off, as even that can be totally misconstrued. For example, if you tell someone you're into them, they might think you're a desperate and clingy mess, entirely too forward, or just the type of person who indiscriminately hits on everyone as though it's a pure numbers game. This can happen even when they're the first person you've liked in months! At the same time, if you're too shy or unsure to speak up clearly, you can get unfairly accused of playing games, when really your mixed signals are just a product of mixed feelings.

This is why it's important to back up even the most explicit words with signs, to make clear to the other person what you want and who you are, all without unnecessarily freaking them out or coming across as someone you're not. Let's find out what signs you're sending, and hopefully knowing the answer will help you send the ones you meant to send!

How long do you wait to return a phone call?
A day or two
I call back immediately ... or wait a week.
Same day
At least three days

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If you like someone, who do you tell first?
Ideally, I tell them if they're around.
Everyone but them
Their BFF
No one

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You see someone fine at a party. What's your first move?
I go over and strike up a conversation about something else.
I ask around about them to check they're single.
I go over and tell them they're fine.
I see if someone can introduce us, or drift near them and hope they take the initiative.

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What's the best way to meet a new person, in your view?
Through friends
Workplace
Dating app
Parents setting us up

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If you liked a work colleague, how would you act on it?
If I'm their boss, I don't. Otherwise, I check with HR about the rules, then ask them on a date and say I won't make it awkward if they say no.
I'd ask them for a friendly drink.
I'd ask them out.
I'd try to find reasons to be in the same space as them.

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What's the longest relationship you've ever been in?
More than three years
Two-three years
About a year
Under six months

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Have you ever had a relationship of more than a year that didn't start in college or at work?
Yes
No
I've never had a relationship that long.
I've never had a relationship at all.

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Do you make free eye contact when you're flirting?
Not to the point of being creepy, but yes
Only erratically
Yes, I stare right at them so they know!
I wouldn't dare!

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After a date, they offer to walk you home. You're right by their subway stop and your home is a 10-minute walk. You like them but you're not ready to kiss them. What do you say?
I say yes! They're doing it to spend more time with me. I can say good night at my door.
I say no because I'm afraid they're going to try to come up.
I say yes, to give me 10 minutes to decide if my door will be open to them.
I say no. I don't want to put them out. They're just being nice.

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If you're not sure whether it's a date, how do you find out?
Ask
I try to identify datelike signs e.g. they touch my arm a lot.
I tell them it's a date.
I don't. I'll just get it wrong and make an idiot of myself.

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What is the longest you'd date someone before discussing whether you are a couple?
Until I felt ready
I try to wait, then blurt it out at an inopportune moment.
I'm generally never a couple, so it's moot.
Months

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Do you show a lot of skin when you flirt?
A tasteful amount
I mean to, but then I hide in my wrap or something like that.
As much as I can
Never!

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How do you know when someone is your boyfriend or girlfriend?
We agree that we are.
They say we are.
I tell everyone we are and they don't argue.
We're intimate.

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You've been dating someone two months when it's their birthday. What do you get them?
Chocolates and tickets for a midprice comedy show. No need to go mad.
Nothing
A weekend away
Jewelry

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Do you think it's weird when a (straight) woman makes the first move?
Not if she's into the guy, no
Yes. It doesn't mean she's easy but the guy will think it does, which will confuse him.
No, it means she knows what she likes.
Yes. It means she's easy.

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Can a good relationship come out of dating on the rebound?
Sure. It's not common, but it happens.
Probably not
Experience says no, heart says yes!
Obviously not. That's a short road to being used and dumped.

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If their first kiss just doesn't do it for you, how do you deal?
Tell them how I like to be kissed. If they do it and it doesn't help, then the chemistry isn't there.
Try kissing them more to see if it fixes it.
Kiss them differently. They'll figure it out.
I go home and cry. It's because I'm ugly, I just know it.

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If you meet someone and you like them, how do you get their contact details?
Ask for their number
Ask if I can Facebook them
Give them my number and Insta handle
Ask how they stay in touch with people. If they don't offer their info immediately, then they're not into me.

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If they don't call after the second date, how many times will you reach out before giving up?
Two
One quickly, then two more after a few weeks
Several
None - they're not into me!

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When do you bring up the subject of what you're looking for long term?
First three dates casually, just to make sure we shouldn't totally rule one another out
I drop increasingly obvious hints.
Immediately
That's for them to do, not me.

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If they ask you what you're looking for before you bring it up, what do you say?
I say what I'm looking for. If that means marriage and kids, I say so! I'm not saying I've already decided they're the one.
I say what I think they want to hear.
I say I'm looking for something for right now.
I say I'm not looking for anything serious, so I don't seem desperate.

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Have you ever experienced "the thunderbolt"?
Yes. It was awesome!
Yes, but it turned out they were bad for me.
Every day!
No, I don't believe in it.

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If you see your crush in the supermarket, how do you engineer it so you get to speak to them?
I go over and say hi.
I wander into the same aisle and contrive to bump into them.
I call them and when they pick up, I say, "Look at the produce aisle!"
I shadow them around the store and hope they notice me.

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Have you ever sent someone a physical love letter?
Yeah, once
No, but I want to.
No, but I leave some very intriguing Post-its at people's houses.
No, that's too forward.

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If you were to ask someone out point blank, what would you say?
"I think you're very cool. Would you like to on a date with me?"
"So ... you wanna hang out sometime, or like, do stuff?"
"You're hot. Let's get together."
I would never do that.

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If someone ghosted you after 10 dates, what would you do about it?
After 10 dates is cruel. I would feel justified in notifying mutual acquaintances that they are a bad egg.
Leave increasingly anxious voicemails for a month or two
Go to their house and tell them exactly what I think of them
Nothing

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Have you ever hoped someone would dump you rather than telling them you weren't into them anymore?
No, if I lose interest, I end it with a polite phone call.
How else do you get out of a bad early relationship?
No, I just text, "Welcome to Dumpsville" then block their number.
In that situation, I just ghost them. I can't handle it.

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When is a good time to discuss your exes?
Mention them in the first date or two, then get specific in a couple of months.
Immediately, so as to ensure they know you're over it!
Whenever you both feel like it.
Never!

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If someone you like assumes you are more into them than they are into you, do you correct them?
I just tell them the truth. If they assume, that's on them.
I don't know! Should I? Maybe!
Yes. I'm not having them going around calling me desperate.
No, they're probably right.

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Do you flirt with people you aren't into just because it's fun?
Only if they know I'm taken and it's just fun; otherwise, it's mean.
Yes, but not because it's fun — I do it because it's polite.
Sure. Practice makes perfect!
I don't really flirt.

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