What Small Dog Guards Your Soul?

By: Emily Maggrett

What Small Dog Guards Your Soul?
Image: kiszon pascal / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Let's face it: small dogs are the best! They're cute, cuddly and hilariously fancy. Some of them can even fit in your purse. The only real issue with small dogs is figuring out which one would make you the happiest. Luckily, this quiz is designed to do just that. We're going to ask you a ton of nosy questions about your preferences, such as your favorite dog characteristics, ideal spring coat, Monopoly piece of choice and more. 

By telling us the truth about your faves and pet peeves, we can narrow down which small dog would be best suited to helping your soul thrive! By the end of the quiz, our supercomputer will have calculated your answers, and we'll be able to tell you which small dog is your dream date.🐩

There's no adventure that can't be made more enjoyable by bringing a small dog along. Whether it's a toy poodle, a fluffy Maltese or a sassy Chihuahua, every tiny dog has the potential to increase your well-being and add spice to your day. Are you ready to find out which precious pup should be your life's companion? Take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves and get ready to play this quiz!


Imagine you're napping in a beautiful green field. You hear yipping in the distance. When you look up, a herd of tiny dogs is running toward you. What do they look like?
They're tiny blond balls of fun!
They're white fluffy fur babies!
They're wee black-haired foxes!
They're stern noble pups!

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You want to order a cool cocktail in order to impress an intimidating date. What do you get?
A French 75
An Old-Fashioned
A Dark 'N' Stormy
A Negroni

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If you were a famous dinosaur, which one would you be?
Dino from "The Flintstones"
Barney
That T-Rex from "Jurassic Park"
Earl, the father dinosaur on the TV show, "Dinosaurs"

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What's your greatest weakness?
I give in to other people too easily.
I'd rather nap on the couch than pursue my goals.
I'm overly gossipy and want to know everything about everybody.
I'm way too stubborn, even when I know I'm wrong.

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Are you naive? For instance, do you believe that Lady Gaga is in love with Bradley Cooper?
I'm a little naive. But also, Lady Gaga is definitely in love with Bradley Cooper.
I'm an innocent soul, but who can deny the burning chemistry between Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.
I'm a cynic and I don't think Lady Gaga likes Bradley Cooper more than a friend.
I'm so cool and sophisticated in that I don't even have an opinion about Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

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Let's say you're buying a new spring coat. Toward which coat styles do you gravitate?
I want a big down parka because I'm cold all the time!
I want a cream-colored trench coat.
I'd like a sleek wool jacket.
I'm in the market for a grey pea coat.

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If you were feeling sad, how would you want a small dog to help you?
I'd want a small dog to prance for me.
I'd want a small dog to fetch me a box of crackers.
I'd want a small dog to proudly murder a squeaky toy in front of me.
I'd want a small dog to ignore me in a hilarious manner until I gave him food.

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Do you think 16-year-olds should be able to vote?
Sure! They are people, too.
Maybe. It seems young, but what do I know?
Yes! Young people will cause a social revolution.
No. Young people are fools.

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Imagine your soul could be transmuted into a sandwich. What kind of sandwich would your soul be?
A delicious club sandwich
An Italian sub
A meatball sub
A Monte Cristo

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If you could be famous for anything, for what would you choose to be famous?
My comedy
My "It Girl" status
My athletic ability
My brilliant novel

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Let's say your new boyfriend is pretty great. However, one day he mentions that he wants you to wear more "natural-looking" make-up. What do you tell him?
"Sorry, but that's none of your business."
"I'll try it once but that's not who I am."
"OK!" (You then wear the most unnatural make-up imaginable, practically daring him to object.)
"This relationship is over."

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What kind of dog memes do you relate to the most?
I like it when the dog is in a good mood even though it's in a disastrous situation.
I like it when dogs are "smol."
I'm into memes that feature tiny dogs dragging giant sticks.
I dig grumpy dogs!

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How would your angriest ex-boyfriend or girlfriend describe you?
Sweet but shallow
A total doormat
Attractive but vicious
Delusional

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Would you rather have a dog who rarely barks or a dog who knows adorable tricks?
I'd choose the "adorable tricks" dog.
I'd choose the "rarely barks" dog.
I don't care, as long as my small dog is pert and alert!
I don't care, as long as my small dog is strikingly attractive.

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A work enemy makes up a mean nickname for you, which spreads like wildfire through your company. How do you handle it?
I'm stressed, but trust that my popularity will convince people to knock it off.
I feel mortified but am not sure what to do.
I laugh and tell everyone that my enemy is mocking me because they're in love with me.
I don't bother to dignify the nickname by noticing it.

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Your new girlfriend likes to drink pickle juice all the time. Do you kiss her anyway or ask her to brush her teeth?
I kiss her anyway but eventually ask her to brush her teeth.
I kiss her anyway and never ask her to brush her teeth.
I start drinking pickle juice myself so I don't notice.
I request that she brush her teeth immediately.

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To which dog's coat is your hair most similar?
A Spitz's. I have tons of fine, straight hair.
A poodle's. My hair is curly and coarse.
A Husky's. I've got big hair!
A terrier's. I have a mixture of wiry and soft hair.

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What's your favorite Monopoly piece?
The top hat
The thimble
The boot
The Scottie

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Would you rather smell bad 100% of the time or experience mild chronic pain 70% of the time?
I'd choose mild chronic pain.
I'd choose to smell bad.
I wouldn't be able to stand either condition!
Could I smell bad half of the time and be in pain half of the time instead?

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If you had to relocate to a country with harsh winters, which one would you choose?
Germany
Alpine Italy
The Netherlands
Scotland

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What kind of stuff worries you the most?
I worry when people don't get along with each other.
I worry when someone dislikes me.
I worry that I'm not getting enough joy out of life.
I worry that people might try to keep me from achieving my goals.

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Do you respect small dogs, or do you consider them to be a bit silly?
Of course, small dogs are silly! What do you expect?
They're silly but I love it.
I think they're a little ridiculous.
I respect them deeply.

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If you could be in any pop star's music video, which one would you choose?
Katy Perry
Ariana Grande
Sia
Lorde

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely would you be to date Elon Musk if he asked you out?
3 (not very likely) He's too eccentric for me.
2 (extremely unlikely) He's too old for me!
6 (somewhat likely) What's the harm in going on one date with a billionaire?
8 (very likely) I'm gonna marry that guy if I can.

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In your opinion, what's the best thing about small dogs?
They remind me of the lighter side of life.
Having a small, sweet companion makes me feel brave.
I relate to clever small dogs because I too am small yet wily.
Watching a small dog be annoyed by something satisfies a deep-seated need in my soul.

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Imagine that your father has died and your mother has remarried. You catch your stepfather making fun of your dad online. How do you deal with him?
I bite him!
I cry until my mom gets rid of him.
I yell at him until he runs away.
I tell my mother that I'll cut off contact with her if she doesn't divorce him.

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What's your favorite form of self-care?
I love a long, hot bath.
I like to put on a face mask and watch HGTV.
Running on the beach always puts me in a good mood.
Saying "no" to requests makes me feel free and alive!

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A friend offers you a bottle of expensive Scotch on the condition you only drink it when you're together. Do you accept the gift or tell her she's being unreasonable?
I accept it but secretly drink it when she's not around.
I accept it, along with her strange condition.
I say, "No, thanks!"
I drink some of the Scotch first before I turn her down. I love Scotch but gifts shouldn't come with strings attached.

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For your money, what's the most delicious salad dressing?
Green Goddess
Caesar
Vinaigrette
Balsamic vinegar-based

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When small dogs lick your face, do you scold them or let them go wild?
I let them go wild as this is my dream.
I lie back and enjoy feeling loved.
I scold them but I don't really mean it.
I scold them but it makes me happy that they tried.

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