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About This Quiz
Everyone has a cause, but we all have different ways of showing our support. Are you a righteous armchair warrior with an ever-ready keyboard, a troll trying to undermine everyone else's cause, or perhaps a charity worker, a (not-yet-corrupted) politician, or a vigilante? Take this quiz to find out!
You see a lost dog. What do you do?
Post a pic of it on Instagram so the owner can find it.
Kick it, then use a recording of the yelps as my ring tone.
Win its trust by purchasing doggie treats, then put up posters and take the dog from house to house until I find the owner.
I get close enough to read the collar tag, then call the owner.
It depends which way its owners vote.
At a family dinner, racist Uncle George starts in on "Them" for the umpteenth time. What do you do?
Comment on Facebook about how Thanksgiving is SUCH a minefield.
Laugh along.
Tell him to STFU.
Find something Uncle George agrees is a problem and try to enlist his support in a positive way.
I remember that it's important that They do their best to understand where Uncle George is coming from.
Do you litter?
No.
Yes. Carrying things is annoying.
I not only don't litter, I tidy litter that I see.
No, and I give to a group that sends out litter-pickers on weekends.
Of course not. Litter is a blight on our cities.
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Do you recycle?
Yes, but not as much as I should.
No. Recycling is for wimps.
Yes, consistently. I also write passive-aggressive notes to neighbors who don't.
I organized my building's new eco-friendly recycling scheme that reduced our carbon footprint by half.
Yes. Recycling jobs are the jobs of the future.
How many apps on your phone are dedicated to ethical and/or green investing or purchasing?
Four, but I don't really use them.
I download them regularly so that I can give them 1-star reviews. LOL.
Six and I use them all.
Two. I only have so much bandwidth after my volunteering.
None. I have staff to handle that sort of thing.
How do you feel about the great outdoors?
I love them in theory. Can't remember the last time I went there.
This planet belongs to us and the outdoors are our property.
I regularly go hiking and climbing.
I raise money for the Sierra Club.
They are a national treasure and we should do everything in our power to protect them.
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How do you feel about the less fortunate?
I feel super bad for them.
It's nice to know there is someone worse off than me.
I do my best to help them out when I can.
I try to change the system so they have an easier time of making it to a more prosperous time.
I hope to help those of them who are deserving and hard-working - but remember, people want a hand up, not a handout!
Do you give money to homeless people in the street?
No, but I'm really nice about it.
Why would I do that? What did they do for me?
Yes, always.
The homeless guy outside my local supermarket knows me. I buy him a sandwich every Friday when I get paid.
Yes, when I can.
What about to buskers?
Sure, if I have it.
I hold out my hand like I'm going to but then I secretly drop a button or a piece of lint into their hat. Serves them right for disrupting my commute.
Always. They brighten up my day!
Certainly do, especially if they're talented.
Yes, especially if people might see me do it.
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How many non-relatives know they could call you with a 3 a.m. emergency?
None. It's not that I'm flaky, it's just that I'm a really heavy sleeper, you know?
None, which is a shame - I'm happy to lose a little sleep for the opportunity to laugh at someone in distress.
A dozen. I've gone over to dog-sit while friends are in the emergency room, and temporarily housed a friend after a breakup.
A few close friends count on me, and vice versa.
Loads. If you're in my tribe, I will do anything for you.
On a rainy rural road, you pass someone with a flat tire. What do you do?
I hope Triple A comes soon.
Slow down until they think I'm going to stop, then speed away once they come over.
Pull over and change that tire!
Ask them if they want me to call someone.
Write an opinion piece for the local paper about the auto industry, citing them as an example of how we could do better.
Why are some people poor?
Capitalism, obviously.
Because they are stupid and lazy. Unless they're me, in which case, because the government is too busy helping out the stupid, lazy ones to help me.
Corporations and governments are run by bad guys, and don't care about the less fortunate.
Not enough people open their hearts and wallets to help their fellow man.
The ones who disagree with me are poor because they are shiftless hooligans. The ones who agree with me are being doomed to poverty by excessive and/or insufficient regulation and the wrong size tax burden.
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You're hungry but the fridge is empty. How do you solve the problem?
Order something on Seamless.
Call the local pizza place. The delivery guy is scared of me but my money's as good as anyone's.
I go to the local farmer's market and purchase ingredients to make a delicious salad.
I guess I just stay hungry until I finish this work I'm doing.
I have my spouse make me a sandwich.
At a party, you see someone sitting all on their own looking a little sad, while everyone else has a great time. What's the right thing to do?
Send empathy vibes their way.
Ignore them. They should get it together.
Ask them to dance.
Go and chat to them.
Start a conversation near them and slowly include them in the group.
Grandma is in the hospital. How often do you visit?
I totally called twice but she was sedated.
I don't. I have stuff to do.
Daily.
Twice a week, but I text or email every day.
Once a week, plus I send flowers.
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Do you eat meat?
Yes. I try to check if it is ethical meat.
Mmmm. Meat.
Nope.
I eat free-range meat, sustainably sourced from local farms.
Of course. Meat is a mainstay of the rural economy.
When you dine out, do you tip?
Standard 15% every time for me.
Only if the service was incredible.
Yes, and I tip in cash to make sure the restaurant doesn't stiff them.
20% standard, more than that if they went above and beyond.
Yes. Sometimes, if my server seems like they're not living their best life, I leave a Bible verse to show them the way.
Where would you like to see society in another 100 years?
Sort of like now except with more democracy, I guess?
I don't care. I won't be here any more.
Freer and fairer than now.
I hope we will have tackled climate change and gender inequality, and that more people will be living in open societies with democratic rulers, but I know there will always be fresh challenges.
Puppies and rainbows for everyone!
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Do you support pure blue-sky research that might not have a practical application, such as genomics?
Sure. I read a lot of that sort of stuff. It's cool.
No. We shouldn't fund the arts or NASA either.
Absolutely. You never know what breakthrough awaits.
Yes. I can write a mean grant application.
Only if the 5-10 year benefit to society can be proven.
What sort of car do you drive?
A Honda. It's what I could afford.
A Hummer.
A Tesla, natch. My last car was a Prius.
My trusty 15-year-old Volvo.
I buy American, to support our economy.
It's cold in here! How can you warm up?
Bring up the "fireplace" channel on the TV to distract myself.
Turn the thermostat up to 100. That's how that works, right?
I put on a sweater.
Put the thermostat up a couple clicks.
Build a fire. I'm handy that way.
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You're getting a dog! Do you adopt or shop?
I buy from one of those stores in the neighborhood. Man, those little dudes are cute.
I buy online.
I buy from a friend of a friend whose dog had puppies.
I adopt from a shelter.
I buy from a reputable breeder, who is known for their humane practices.
A natural disaster strikes one of our allies. What obligations do we have?
We should raise awareness of the issue.
Depends if they came through for us last time we had a problem.
We should send canned goods, blankets, and tents.
We should send money. Buying supplies locally helps their economy to recover and is more cost-effective.
We should send a carrier group so they have all the air support they need.
Have you ever catcalled someone in the street?
Ew. No.
I'm being NICE. I don't see why people can't take a compliment just because I back them into a confined space and make myself as threatening as possible.
Absolutely not, and when I see it happen, I put myself between the harasser and his target.
No, and if my friend did that, he'd get an earful from me.
I might've done that once or twice, but it was just boys being boys.
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If you won a scholarship but you didn't need the money, would you accept?
I guess. I won fair and square.
Obviously yes.
No. They should give it to someone less fortunate.
I accept the place but ask them to give the money as a bursary to someone more in need.
I would, and then I would write moving op-eds about how we can change the system to ensure this does not happen again.
Do you pay for music?
I totally mean to, but sometimes I get tempted.
No. I use every trick in the book.
Of course. I don't allow anyone to play music in front of me that wasn't legitimately sourced.
Yes. I don't steal from artists.
We should beef up copyright law to ensure that artists are properly compensated. What do you mean, I didn't answer the question?
What steps do you take to support local businesses?
I know that's a thing I should do, but it's really complicated.
I shop at my local Wal-Mart, if that's what you mean.
I shop any place that isn't a chain store, and go to local restaurants a lot.
I use a combination of apps, local blogs, and community connections to support businesses in the area.
I lobby the city authorities to provide tax breaks for businesses that hire local.
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Your friend is in a financial mess entirely of her own making. You can afford to loan her $1,000 to tide her over. Do you make the loan?
No. That's a sure way to mess up a friendship.
Heck, no.
Of course, and I assume I'm never going to see it again, either.
I'll offer advice on solving the problem first.
Yes, but only if she sits down with me to discuss how to not let this happen again.
Does the arc of history bend toward justice?
Certainly seems that way!
I don't know. Maybe? Sure. Whatever.
Yes, but only because of the actions of good people who refuse to lie down in the face of injustice.
Yes. People are fundamentally decent, and as long as they're not too worried about their own survival, they will go out of their way to help others.
Indeed it does. Truly, we are the heirs of Martin Luther King, the Pankhurst sisters, and the Founders.
If you could pass one law that everyone would magically obey, what would it be?
Everyone should be nicer and more tolerant.
People shouldn't be so over-sensitive, and should accept that I'm being very logical and sensible.
I would ban violence.
Redistributive tax policy, plus healthcare that is free at the point of need.
I would set up the tax system to incentivize hard work and entrepreneurial spirit, then trust in people's natural instincts to do the rest.
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You Got: