What Vampire Slaying Weapon Should You Wield?

By: Amanda Monell
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
What Vampire Slaying Weapon Should You Wield?
Image: D-Keine / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Vampire infestation is no laughing matter. You’re minding your own business, raising a family (possibly), going to work, coming to a beautiful home, and living the dream. It starts out small: rumors about the shady drifter in town goes missing. Or perhaps a new neighbor arrives and they’re never seen during the day. Soon others go missing, but most of them are vagrants or runaways, people that no one keeps track of. The straw that breaks the camel’s back? When a prominent member of your community (or worse, a child of a prominent member of the town) gets killed. Then there are more than a few eyebrows raised.  

Once a community has realized that there is a single vampire in its midst, it is usually too late. If a vampire is getting messy with their kills, that generally means they’ve become complacent in their environment and they’re not going to leave without a fight. Because they are pretty tough creatures, there are many ways you can eradicate your community of vampires. You could use balloons filled with holy water: this is a great way of killing them without getting too close. You could go with a traditional route and use a stake through the heart: this is an ideal setup for those who don’t want to mess around and wait for results. Finally, you could make a party out of it by rallying all your closest friends and family to go off and slay the beast.  

These are all wonderful options, but which one is best for you? Take the quiz and find out.

What size community do you live in?
I live in a medium-sized community.
I live in a large community.
I live in an enormous community.
I live in a small community.

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When did you start to train in the art of vampire slaying?
I was born ready to fight a vampire: I've been training since I was a child.
I've been training since I was a teenager.
I've never trained in vampire slaying.
I've been training on and off for a couple of years.

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What kind of home do you live in?
I live in a small apartment.
I live in a large apartment.
I live in a large house.
I live in an average-sized house.

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Do you cook with a lot of garlic?
I have every variety of garlic in my house.
I'll use the recommended amount of garlic in my food.
I usually add a couple extra cloves to my recipes.
I don't like garlic at all.

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Do you have a large drifter population in your town?
I don't think we have any more drifters than any other town.
We don't have that many drifters.
No.
We have too many drifters.

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Has the number of disappearances in your town increased considerably?
I've heard people are getting concerned about that.
I haven't heard that.
I really don't pay attention to the news.
Yes, and I let the authorities know.

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When you found out that a vampire was in town, how did you react?
I already knew there was a vampire. It was only a question of how many.
I was excited.
I was surprised.
I was angry.

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How many vampires have you hunted?
I've hunted over 10 vampires.
I've hunted one or two vampires.
I didn't even know vampires existed until now.
I've hunted between three and nine vampires.

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Do you hunt vampires alone or with a group?
I hunt with a small group.
I don't hunt.
I hunt in a large group.
I hunt alone.

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How portable do you want your weapon to be?
It doesn't need to be portable, I'm fairly flexible.
My weapon is fairly common, so I can always grab another if there's a problem.
It would need to be portable.
It would be nice if it were portable. However, it won't break my heart if it is not.

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How easy to use do you want your weapon to be?
My weapon should be easy to use. However, to use it with skill takes training.
My weapon will take years to master.
My weapon will be insanely easy to use.
My weapon will require some practice to use.

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How accurate do you want your weapon to be?
It doesn't need to be accurate, it's kind of large.
I don't care if it is precise as long as it gets the job done.
I'd prefer a little accuracy with my weapon, but it won't be a make or break situation if it isn't accurate.
I'd prefer my accuracy to be very precise.

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Are you going to be fighting in close range?
I'm avoiding fighting at close range.
My range will be varied.
Yes.
No.

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Would it be easy to pass through airport checkpoints with your weapon?
My weapon would have to be mailed to my destination.
My weapon isn't harmful to humans, so it would be fairly easy to get to my flight.
If it is the appropriate size, I could get to my flight with my weapon.
My weapon has many pieces, so keeping them all together may be a problem.

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Why would you hunt this vampire?
It is invading my community.
It seems like fun.
This is something that needs to be done before more vampires come.
I would rather die on my own terms than being ambushed by a vampire.

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What kind of training do you do to practice using your weapon?
I run marathons.
I don't train.
I do strength training.
I do charity work.

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Vampires can be pretty messy creatures. What is the worst thing you think you can handle seeing while entering their lair?
I don't really think I could handle seeing any of it.
I don't think I could handle burnt bodies.
I pretty much can handle seeing anything. Smells, however, are another story.
I don't think I could handle seeing decomposing bodies.

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Sometimes, vampires will kidnap someone to get the attention of the public. Which of your relatives would a vampire have to kidnap to get your attention?
My significant other.
Anyone in my family.
My children.
My parents.

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How many different styles of your weapon are there?
I've lost count of advances that my weapon has been through.
It is a one-of-a-kind item.
My weapon is very simple in design, however, it comes in various lengths and is constructed out of various materials.
My weapon has a few different styles.

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While fighting the vampire, it tries to cut a deal with you. What do you do?
I consider it.
I use the time to recover some energy from the fight.
I don't even let the vampire finish speaking. It's time to fight!
I use the time to plan an escape.

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Do you want your weapon to have many charges or do you want it to have one shot?
For me, it doesn't matter.
My weapon will only need one shot.
My weapon will be a one-shot weapon. However, I'll carry many of them.
My weapon will have many shots.

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How long will it take to get your weapon ready to use?
It depends on the circumstances.
It could take several hours.
It could take about an hour.
It only will take seconds.

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How do you plan on luring the vampire to the fight?
I'm using myself as bait.
I'm going to have a fake blood drive.
I'm going to ambush them.
I'm just going to call them out in front of everyone.

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What medieval weapon do you think you'd rock at wielding?
A broken bottle.
A morning star.
A dagger.
A pitchfork.

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If your vampire has ghouls, what do you do to them?
I'm going to try to sneak past them.
I knock them unconscious.
I kill them silently.
I kill them, but it disturbs their "master."

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Before entering the fight, what do you do to get ready?
I don't do anything.
I meditate and make sure I'm well-rested.
I get my gear ready.
I play some energetic music to pump myself up.

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Where in town is your vampire's lair?
It's closer to the residential area of town.
It's on the outskirts of town.
It is in an area close to the town, but far enough away that the public doesn't get wind of things quick enough.
It's almost in the center of town.

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Would you say that you're religious?
I'm as religious as the next person.
I would say that I'm very religious.
My actions speak louder than my words.
Not in the least.

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Sometimes vampires will use mind tricks to try to fool their opponent into submission. Which of these visions would make you give up the fight?
Losing everyone in my family.
Nothing. I have an iron-clad will.
The overall devastation of what would happen if I were defeated.
A group of vampires eating the townspeople.

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You've just won against the bloodsucker! Do you take a trophy?
I just run out of there.
If by trophy, you mean battle scars, then yes.
I may take its fangs.
I just look for a little something from the house.

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You Got:

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