What Would You Be the Goddess Of?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Would You Be the Goddess Of?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

Since humans first came up with the idea of religion, we've imagined gods and goddesses, immortal personifications of the forces in the world we do not or can not understand. As society evolved, the number of gods increased, giving rise to gods and goddesses for forces other than those dealing with nature and animals. From this time, humanity imagined gods and goddesses of war, of wisdom, of sports, and of kings.

We do not live in ancient times. The gods and goddesses of the hunt and the Moon seem quaint by today's standards. If you were a goddess of the modern world, what would lie within your divine portfolio? Would your worshipers gather in a pine grove or an office park? Would they sacrifice their winter tires to you, or would they burn remainder copies of "Economics for Dummies" in your name?

To be a good goddess, you need to know your subject. Is there an area you feel especially passionate about? Is your profession an area deserving of a divine godhead? Would modern, increasingly secular people bother turning to you for your godly power in their time of need? Would you let your holy power go to your head?

Take this quiz, and discover what you would be the goddess of!

How long does it take you to get out of the house?
I can get ready in seconds.
15 minutes.
I take forever.
I calculate 45 minutes.

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How well do you know your way around?
Reasonably well.
I know the city like a cabbie.
I only know my way around a cocktail party.
With Google Maps I can find anything.

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Are you good with names?
Only of things.
Only of streets.
Yes.
Only of apps.

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How long does it take you to learn new technology?
I mastered the flat iron in minutes.
A while.
I don't bother.
I'm a quick study.

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How much do you spend on hair care products?
Quite a lot.
Not much at all.
As much as I think is sane.
As little as I can get away with.

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Do you need Google Maps to get around?
I'm lost without that.
No, I have it all in my head.
I just ask friends for directions.
Of course, but I prefer Waze.

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How many Facebook friends do you have?
800
100
5,000
2,000

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How much of your commute is spent with your nose in your phone?
Half of it.
None of it.
Just a few minutes to email.
All of it.

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How quickly can you iron an outfit?
3 minutes, not counting getting the iron to be hot.
I can't do that.
5 minutes.
I send it out!

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Do you know what to do in the event of total gridlock?
Panic!
Of course!
Phone a friend?
Beg Waze for help.

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Are you a good party host?
I certainly look good doing it.
Not really.
No one is better.
I've never even tried.

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How facile are you with obscure software, like Wolfram Alpha?
I am no good with computers.
Nothing obscure.
I have a few apps for taking people's personal info.
Obscure software is my jam.

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How many tie knots do you know?
Six.
Not even one.
One for long neckties, one for bow ties.
Isn't there just one?

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How safe would you feel going out drinking at night, knowing no one can drive you home?
I'd freak out.
Totally safe. I know the subways well.
I'm sure I could talk someone into driving me to my home.
Safe, as long as I can order an Uber.

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Do you always know who of your friends should meet your other friends?
Rarely.
Never.
Always.
Occasionally, if I check LinkedIn.

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How many time-wasting programs do you have on your phone?
1
2
None.
Too many.

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How quickly could you do your makeup, if you were rushed?
30 seconds.
I wouldn't bother.
Five minutes.
Two minutes.

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How much faster can you get to work than the "rules of your city" allow?
I'm very late.
I beat the system by 10 minutes.
I'm usually a few minutes late.
I'm always just on time.

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Do you keep up on the movers and shakers in your business?
I try.
Not really.
Yes, very much.
I do it reasonably well.

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Do you use a special email app instead of the default one on your phone?
Only because I don't use Google or Yahoo.
No.
I use the one for Salesforce.
I have a couple, since I have more than one email.

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Do people always think you look natural?
Of course!
Sadly, yes.
No, it's always clear I've done something.
I have no idea.

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Do delays get you down?
No, it gives me time to check myself in the mirror.
No, I always have something to do to fill the time.
No, I'll just get on BBM or Facetime.
No, I'll just play Candy Crush.

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Do you use some kind of CRM or Rolodex?
I don't even know what those are.
No, my job doesn't require that.
Both.
I used to, but it's too much work.

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How do you post to social media?
I take photos of myself for Instagram.
I don't.
I have an assistant for that.
I use Hootsuite.

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How do you look when you walk out of the gym?
Awesome! I bring my kit to the gym to use afterward.
Like a drowned rat.
Like I'm there to sweat.
No one can see my face because I'm leaning over to text.

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Do you need a car for anything?
Just getting out of town for the weekend.
No.
Seeing my friends.
Moving, mostly.

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Do people seem shocked when you know their friends and acquaintances?
All the time! I'm such a shut in.
I never do, so they aren't.
No, since I just know everyone.
Yes, until I show them how many Facebook friends we share.

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Do you use your tablet as a sketchbook?
No, but I use it as a mirror sometimes.
Only out of boredom.
Not my thing.
Of course! Gotta love a stylus.

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What's your strongest instinct?
Style.
Direction.
Empathy.
Puzzle solving.

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How useful is your number one strength?
Very useful, I think.
Only useful twice a day.
Useful all the time.
It's only useful if I keep up to date.

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You Got: