What Would Your British Royal Name Be?

By: Zoe Samuel

What Would Your British Royal Name Be?
Image: tsaiproject via Wiki Commons

About This Quiz

Royal naming conventions in Britain have changed somewhat over the roughly 1,500 years that various British kingdoms have been independent. However, some things are constant. Ever since the fall of Rome, there have been kings and queens in the British Isles. Some of them only ruled parts of the isles and others ruled the whole thing. Since the Act of Union of 1707, the United Kingdom has included all of Great Britain, as well as Northern Ireland and some of the outlying islands like the Isle of Wight.

One very notable feature of the monarchy that have ruled these isles is that the queens, generally speaking, tend to last longer than the kings, and they are more beloved. This is possibly because if you're going to last in a role like that, as a woman, you have to be pretty darn impressive. However, the kings have also put on a good show, with a few notable Henries and a couple of what one might generously term notorious King Charleses.

Where might you fit in with the royal lineage? Would you be a reigning monarch or a sidelined so-called "spare"? A traditional royal figure or a modern trailblazer? Let's find out!

Do you run your estate yourself?
Of course.
I have a guy.
When I can be bothered.
No.

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What do you wear when you're hanging out at home?
Jeans
Tweeds
Suit
Doublet

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What sort of shoe do you wear to open an orphanage?
Stiletto
Court shoe
I wouldn't know.
Leather boot

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How many languages do you speak?
1
4
2
6, including Latin!

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Do you want to stand out historically?
Yes, but not too much.
Yes, all in good ways.
Only in cheeky ways.
Not really.

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Ever thought about starting a war?
Absolutely not, I'm a pacifist.
No, I know how bad they are.
Only for fun.
I've actually done that a bunch, it's cool.

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Does the monarchy need to modernize?
Yes, totally.
Only a bit.
I don't care!
No!

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Do you actually want power?
No
Only to stop bad people getting it.
Too much work.
Yes, I deserve it.

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How beloved are you?
Fairly
Extremely
I'm loathed!
Just enough

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What's your sense of humor like?
Modern
Mischievous
Kinda mean
Erratic

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What's your personal style?
Sleek and chic
Classic and timeless
Perfectly on trend
Glamour all the way!

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There's a war. What's the first thing you do?
Ask how I can help the wounded
Volunteer for the war effort
Leave the country
Marshal my generals

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Can you keep a stiff upper lip, no matter what?
I try, but not always.
Of course.
I really can't be bothered.
No, I'm fiery.

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What's the best thing about being royal?
Helping people
Serving a higher cause than myself
The money
The ladieeeeez!

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What's the worst thing about being royal?
Lack of privacy.
Not being allowed to ever break loose.
Too much attention on my misdeeds.
A lot of people want to kill me.

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For what law would you certainly refuse to give Royal Assent?
Anything that treats people differently.
I probably wouldn't refuse.
Anything boring.
Anything I didn't like.

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How often do you want to speak to the public?
As often as is appropriate.
As often as my duty requires.
Never. They're gross.
Rarely.

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Do you like the ceremonial parts of the job?
Yes, somewhat.
It's not about liking it or not.
Hate it!
Love it!

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Would you actually choose to be royal if you weren't born to it?
I did!
Probably
Nah, as long as I could keep the money.
I'd kill whoever I had to.

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What royal form of transport do you like best?
Electric car
Train
Yacht
Carriage

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What Commonwealth nation do you want to visit the most?
Canada
Australia
Bermuda
All of them

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What type of charity will you support?
Deprived children
Veterans
I really don't care about other people, so I dunno, cancer or something.
Conservation

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Will you ever leak anything to the press?
Only very rarely
Never
Whenever it is convenient.
No, because the press suck.

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Will you look forward to your weekly meeting with the Prime Minister, or dread it?
I will look forward to it.
Depends on the PM.
Dread it.
Depends what's going on in the world.

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Which royal castle would you like to spend the most time at?
Buck House
Balmoral
Windsor Castle
Hampton Court

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If you weren't royal, what would you be?
Actor
Philanthropist
Libertine
CEO

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Which country would you secretly like to colonize so you can rule it too?
America
France
Italy
All of them

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Do changes in British demography and culture worry you?
No, they're great!
No, they're fine.
Yes, those foreigners are so foreign.
No, it means more subjects for me!

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Do you talk openly about your personal life?
Only a smidge
Never
I used to.
No but everyone else does.

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What royal pastime do you like the best?
Traveling
Fishing
Partying
Hunting

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You Got:

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