What Would Your Dog’s Military Job Be?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Would Your Dog’s Military Job Be?
Image: Wiki Commons by Mos.ru

About This Quiz

Dogs have been serving in the military for thousands of years, and the American armed forces are no exception. They have been included in every single war that America has ever fought, from the Civil War to Vietnam to the Revolutionary War to World War Two. Dogs have detected drugs and explosives, warned troops about mustard gas attacks, helped to catch terrorists, uncovered mines and tracked down all manner of enemies. 

While in days gone by dogs would be cast aside like old rubbish when their career ended, there is a law in place these days that honors their service by guaranteeing them not only a comfortable retirement including rehoming but also the opportunity for their handler to adopt them if they want to. 

Military dogs typically work with a single handler, though of course if their human is sadly killed in action, then they may have to work with a new one - though not all can adapt. Similarly, some military dogs make the ultimate sacrifice, in which instance a poem is read by the commanding officer and the dog's bowl is ceremonially placed upside down. Fortunately, though, most military dogs - like their handlers - come home safe, and live a good retirement knowing that they truly are Uncle Sam's best friend.

Could your dog make it with the best of the best of the best? Let's find out!

How good a nose does your dog have?
It's genuinely uncanny.
Superb!
Terrible
Good

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Does your dog currently have a job, and if so, what?
They are a retriever.
They are a hunting dog.
They're just a pet.
They are currently assisting a sweet old lady who may or may not have been a spy when she was young.

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All dogs are good dogs, but is your dog an obedient dog?
Yes, to a fault
Almost entirely
LOL no
Yes, but they do take initiative.

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How frightened would your dog be in a war?
They would ignore it if I said to trust me and carry on.
They would have their vulnerabilities, like any human, but they'd try their best.
They would die of terror.
They wouldn't be bothered at all.

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What has your dog cost you in repair costs for things they chewed?
My dog has never chewed anything illicit!
About $1,000 for miscellaneous shoes and things
Over $2,000, mostly for furnishings
Over $5,000, because they chewed my neighbor when he came over unannounced. They thought he was an intruder.

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Has your dog ever scared a human so badly that they asked you to call it off?
Yes, once
A few times
Never
Yes, repeatedly

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Would your dog listen to anyone who wasn't you?
Generally, yes
If it was someone who knew how to talk to dogs
They barely listen to me!
Only if I said that person was OK

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What silly neurosis does your dog have?
They need a lot of cuddles or they cry sometimes.
They really love tennis balls, to a weird level.
They are afraid of their own tail.
None

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Could your dog handle attention from a lot of different people?
Once in a while, sure
They'd prefer not.
They love it!
No

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How well does your dog travel?
Very well
Quite well
They don't mind as long as they travel in style.
They love all travel!

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Do other dogs typically like your dog?
Mostly
Sure!
Everyone likes my dog.
Not generally

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What outfit suits your dog best?
Hi-viz vest
Stab vest
Little uniform
Full armor

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How did your dog come into your life?
Bought from a breeder
Gift
Rescue
Bred it myself

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If your dog had to do a PR tour, what trick would it use to melt everyone's hearts?
Finding absolutely anything
Jumping over a 7ft wall
Shaking hands and speaking
Jumping out of a plane

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How well do you think your dog could cope with traumatic events?
Better than most
Very well
Not at all
Flawlessly

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Has your dog ever been around guns?
Not much, but enough
Yes, we hunt together all the time.
No
Yes, there are lots of guns in the house and neighborhood.

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Does your dog have any injuries that might be an issue?
They do have a bad leg.
Only one or two
Yes, many
None of significance

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Be honest: Is your dog lazy?
Not really
Not at all
Yes
On the contrary!

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Could you bear to see your dog in danger?
If they were happy, then I'd be happy.
I could cope.
No
I don't see it that way.

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You shoot a bird, and your dog goes to get it for you. Assuming you give no instructions against eating it, what condition is the bird in when you get it?
Immaculate
Lightly chewed
My dog would not do that.
They've eaten half of it.

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A burglar breaks in! What does your dog do?
Corner them and bark until I come
Scare them off
Run away
Kill them

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We know it's not polite to ask, but what does your dog weigh?
65lbs
85lbs
20lbs
Over 100lbs

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Would your dog be able to salute a superior officer?
They could sit nicely for them.
If told to
Only in a cute way
My dog has no time for niceties.

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Military dogs train with a Kong dog toy. What is your dog's favorite toy?
Ball throwing device
Ball on a rope
Cuddly toy
Funnily enough, it's a Kong!

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How does your dog feel about going in the water?
They enjoy it once in a while.
They like it!
They hate and fear it.
They love it!

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Could your dog jump out of an aircraft with a parachute unit?
Only if they absolutely had to
Only in tandem with me
Definitely not
Sure!

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How easily does your dog give up?
Rarely
They don't, ever!
Very easily
Not easily

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Does your dog have a doggie best friend or two?
Just a few
Just one!
Yes, many!
No, they are a loner.

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Other than seeing you come home, what makes your dog happiest?
Doing a good job
Going for a long hike
Cuddles
Hunting successfully

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Can your dog keep quiet enough to sneak up on someone?
Maybe
Almost certainly
LOL no
Oh, yes

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