What's Your Ancient Warrior Name?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What's Your Ancient Warrior Name?
Image: mikkelwilliam/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Ask any Viking: a good nom de guerre will inscribe you into legend just as surely as subduing an ice giant. Ancient warriors didn't have Instagram feeds or Twitter handles, they had the poets. Poets would sing songs of ancient warriors, both heroes and villains, and spread word of their deeds far and wide. Homer alone is responsible for most of Greek myth's characters' reputations, and Homer was hardly alone in his profession.

Some ancient warriors took their names from a physical descriptor, not unlike the pirate Blackbeard, while others simply went by a single name, like Sting, Cher or Prince.

Most ancient warriors are known primarily from their specific deeds. Theseus was known for dealing with the Minotaur, Hercules for his the twelve labors, Achilles for the war with Troy. Some ancient warriors' named became so widely known, their stories and their names became synonymous, as with Odysseus, whose name came to adorn his story, the Odyssey, and in turn, became a word unto itself.

What name would your greatest deeds earn you? Would you have a title, like the Khan of Khans, or would your name have a Norse flavor, like Ivor The Boneless, or Bluetooth, the namesake of the wireless protocol? Answer this quiz and we will give you your ancient warrior name!

What tool makes the best improvised battle weapon?
An axe, obviously
I'm pretty fond of sledgehammers.
Does a frying pan count as a tool?
Have you ever heard of a shingle froe?

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What battle cry would be your signature call?
Barritus!
Liberty or death!
Alala!
Why would I warn anyone that I'm coming?

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Your battle buddy dares you to go cliff diving at a popular spot. What do you say to them?
Heck yeah!
No way, Jose.
Only if you jump first.
Alternative dare: scale the tallest tower in the land and defeat a fire breathing dragon.

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What would distinguish you from other warriors on the battlefield?
The bear skull on my helmet
My bright red cape
The massive spikes on my back
My gold-plated armor

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How strong is your warrior spirit?
Very strong!
I don't even know what warrior spirit is.
If I'm motivated.
It's as strong as my post-workout body odor.

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Which ancient Greek city-state would you love to explore?
Argos
Thebes
Corinth
Delphi

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What is your favorite war movie?
"Fury"
"Saving Private Ryan"
"Solomon Kane"
"The Imitation Game"

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What kind of armor do you prefer?
Leather armor
Chain mail
Quilted fabric
Plate armor

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Which of these fantasy warriors do you feel most akin to?
Xena, the Warrior Princess
King Arthur
Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon
Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones

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You encounter a door which will only open if you answer a riddle. What do you do?
Go find something with a big enough bite to destroy the door.
Answer with the first thing that pops into my mind.
Ask a few friends to brainstorm the answer to the door.
I will find a new quest that doesn't involve so many riddles.

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How strongly do you believe in good and evil?
I don't care much about that.
I guess they exist.
Very strongly!
I think about what those words mean a lot.

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What kind of fantasy genre character do you admire the most?
Barbarians
Politicians
Paladins
Rangers

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What is your favorite sword and sandal movie?
"Conan The Barbarian"
"The Last Temptation of Christ"
"Kingdom of Heaven"
"Gladiator"

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What season do you feel most powerful?
Winter
Spring
Summer
Fall

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What weapon sounds the most appealing to you?
A morning star
My wits!
A pike
A kasurigama

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How many fights have you been in?
I've lost count.
None
One
A handful

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What kind of bow do you prefer at your side?
Longbow
Crossbow
Recurve bow
Compound bow

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What would it take for you to fight a total stranger?
Two rounds of beer
They'd have to be a threat to my nation.
A personal insult to my family
A roll of the dice

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What would your position be on the battle field?
Infantry
Commander
Archer
Assassin

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What non-sword item do you have to have during a battle?
Mace
Shield
Slingshot
Throwing knives

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What is your favorite thing to cook on a campfire?
Steak
I like rotisserie chicken, although it is a lot of turning.
Peach cobbler in a dutch oven
S'mores

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What spoils of war would you collect?
I like to collect cool goblets.
Mostly just armor from my slain enemies
Anything that could be used in a potion later on
Food. Always food

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Would you rather focus your resources on conquests or prosperity?
Conquests. The larger the land, the greater the ruler.
I think those are one and the same.
Prosperity is better for the citizens in general, so I choose that.
Prosperity for sure. That is where art and learning come from!

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What is your best battlefield advantage?
My fortitude
My small and agile size
My intelligence
My precision

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What will be your downfall in the end?
My vices will get the best of me.
My pride will leave me blind to weakness.
Love will make me vulnerable to attack.
My impulsive behaviors will definitely get me killed.

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How would your best friends describe your personality in one word?
Callous
Meek
Zealous
Strange

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Which of these steeds would you rather ride?
My trusty steed is a zebra.
An ostrich — they are terrifying and agile!
A big, strong Shire horse would be my ride.
A llama, obviously.

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How important do you feel education is to being a good warrior?
Who needs it?
It's the most important thing!
It can be important, depending on the war.
I'll just wing it!

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Which fairytale villain still haunts your nightmares?
Rumpelstiltskin
Ursula
The Big Bad Wolf
Dracula

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Which ancient pantheon do you favor?
The Norse gods and goddesses
The Egyptian deities
The Greek pantheon
The ancient Berber deities

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You Got:

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