What’s Your “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” Position?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Red piece in black puzzle Do you feel a compulsion to solve puzzles?
Yes
I am a master of puzzles.
Not really
I create puzzles; I don't solve them.

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Girl writing on Notepad Do you take orders well?
Sure
No, I don't.
I'd rather give them.
Meh

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Businesspeople walking in line on bar chart painted on asphalt Would you consider yourself competitive?
Oh, yeah!
I have no competition.
Not usually
I'm playing an entirely different game.

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Jake pushs Charles on chair Are you willing to put your life in someone else's hands?
Only someone I trust
I shouldn't ever be in a position to do that.
If the situation merits it
Oh, heck no

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Charles works hard How long will you work on a job if it proves difficult?
As long as it takes
Tenacity is my middle name.
I'll call for help if I need to.
Surely there are better things for me to be doing.

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Scary Rosa Does your temper ever get the better of you?
It happens to the best of us.
I must remain in control at all times.
Only on the rarest of occasions
Of course not!

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Young Hacker If you realized a criminal had outsmarted you and gotten away, how would you handle it?
Keep pursuing them
Let it rest while I pursue other avenues
Get a fresh set of eyes on the problem
Who's outsmarting me?

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Pranked man Would you ever pull a practical joke on a friend?
You bet I would!
That's childish.
Only a friendly one
What about on an enemy?

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Terry Jeffords eats marshmallow Do you ever eat snacks at work?
Do I!
Food is to be eaten at designated meal times.
Now and then, to keep my energy up
Sure, if I have something delicious, I do.

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Serious Captain Holt Do people ever accuse you of being too serious?
Not really
I have heard that.
Sometimes
People know better than to accuse me of anything.

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Businesspeople hugging in office What are your thoughts on a workplace romance?
I dig it!
It's better avoided, I would think.
As long as everyone follows the rules, that's fine.
Ooh, I love the drama!

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Young man talking on the phone in his home office Do you have issues with taking your work home with you?
Yeah
Too often
Only if it's something really weighing on me
Not in the slightest bit

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I'm kind of happy the way things are.
I'd like to excel in my field.
I want to get ahead, but I'm also a little nervous sometimes.
There aren't words.

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Enthusiastic businesswoman with arms raised in office Do you like a job that's different every day, or something more reliable and steady?
I want new things all the time.
I enjoy predictability in an unpredictable situation.
A mix of both
I go with the flow no matter what.

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Jake and Charles Is it weird to hang out with work friends outside of work?
Of course not!
Somewhat, yes
Well, you need to have some barriers.
I need space until I don't.

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Spy Undercover work requires some acting chops. Are you a good actor?
I'm like Tom Hanks.
I can immerse myself in a role if need be.
I wouldn' say "good."
I have no desire for such things.

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Anxious young woman Do you feel like you'd be able to deal with people in traumatic situations?
For sure!
I can offer some solace based on my experience.
If I have to
Oh, no; that's not for me.

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Businessman with face pressed against wall You can't solve every case. Are you OK with failing sometimes?
I'd still keep trying.
Learning to fail is part of success.
It's hard, but I'm OK with it.
I don't fail.

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Warehouse manager discussing with foreman Do you feel like you're better at giving orders, or taking them?
I can usually follow directions pretty well.
I give the orders around here.
I can handle both.
Those both sound tiring.

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Businesswoman explaining diagram to female coworker How are your organizational skills?
Dismal
They are better than average.
Flawless
Theyre where they need to be.

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Man helping woman repair car How hard is it for you to ask for help when you're in a bind?
It will take me some time.
I'm usually the one people ask for help.
It's all part of the job.
I don't need help.

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Yes!
No, I am not.
When I plan to be
I live life on the edge.

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Businesspeople yelling at each other What's your first instinct when conflict arises?
Fight
Talk it out
Try to understand every side of the issue
Lay down the law

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Stressed man When you start to get stressed out, what do you do?
I need to escape.
I bury myself in work.
Eat
I don't feel stress.

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Couple in hot air balloon Are you the romantic sort?
Occasionally
By most people's standards?
Yes, I am.
Who has the time?

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Handyman with six arms holding assorted tools Multitasking is important. Have you mastered it?
Yeah, no
Of course
I can manage OK.
I practically invented it.

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Jake and Charles with weapons How many chances are you willing to give someone who lets you down?
As many as I feel they need
People deserve a second chance, so I give them two chances.
I'm willing to take things into consideration in some circumstances.
You only get one chance.

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Woman peering through window Does your curiosity ever get you in trouble?
You could say that.
Not at all
Very rarely
Perhaps?

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Woman working with computer shows thumb up Are there enough hours in the day to get everything done?
Not at all
A day is adequate.
Not every day
Too many, I'd say

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Happy young man Do people ever accuse you of not being serious enough?
Funny you should ask that.
I should hope not.
Rarely
I don't have time for spurious accusations.

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