What's Your Criminal Name?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What's Your Criminal Name?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

We go by a lot of names, but have you ever thought about your outlaw name? While all of us can't be named Billy the Kid, you actually can have a name that's just as cool. You might not have the same sort of gunslinging skill the outlaws of the past had, but you can practice your quick draw while answering the outlaw quiz questions. Put your hand in your holster and get ready to duel at dawn!

You might be the kind of person who would prefer to knock off a stagecoach, or you might be the type who prefers to keep the peace. Either way, you need a name that matches your Wild West spirit! It doesn't even matter if you can pull off a bank heist while riding bareback on a horse. You have more Wild West skills than you give yourself credit for having! Tell us all about them, and we'll make sure you get an outlaw name that tells the world to respect or fear you!

Pony up to the table and put on your fearless hat! Share your wildest outlaw fantasies with us, and we'll give you a snazzy new name. Making your coworkers call you that name is totally up to you, but we highly recommend it. 



Is an outlaw more than just a criminal to you?
Nah
It's a very clever, invisible criminal
So much more
It's a super ambitious criminal with a reputation
What sort of crime do you commit?
Anything that pays
Hacking
Violent
Organized
Does media fame matter to you?
Not really
I resent it
I like it
I crave it

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Do you have a gang?
I have my regular buddies, nothing official though
I work alone
I have informants, but no gang
I have a vast gang with many branches
Do you have a role model?
Nope
Guccifer
Yes, he's my namesake
Bond villains, mostly, or Al Capone
Do you like to be known throughout the underworld?
I don't mind
I like not being known
Reputation is helpful
I demand it

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Does success in your field rely on being hard to recognize?
By the authorities, sure
It's imperative
Yes, I like my mythology - let them know my name, not my face
It has no bearing
How creative are you?
Not at all
Very, in a nerdy way
Very, in a violent way
I have people for that
Are you good with computers?
No
I practically am one
When I have to be
I also have people for that

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Do you believe that crime pays?
Better than the alternative
Yes, and it allows me to indulge my Robin Hood fantasy
No, but that is not why I do it
It does for me
Do you do your own dirty work?
When I must
I have no dirty work
I prefer it
I hire someone to do it
How glamorous are you?
Not at all
Actively unglamorous
I have a certain something going on
I'm pretty glamorous

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Can you shoot?
Not really
I don't know, I never tried
Yes, like a sniper
If I must
What sort of place do you like to live?
Anywhere clean
A sleek and modern loft
Anything with a roof
A monster penthouse covered in gold
Where do you like to operate as a criminal?
I mix it up so they don't catch me
Online
The mean streets
The casinos of Vegas, places like that

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What's your outlaw style?
Innocuous clothing that draws no attention
Jeans and a hoodie
Trench coat long enough to hide my gun
Pinstriped suit
If you were to get caught, what would they finally pin on you?
Mugging
Larceny, hacking, possibly treason
Murder
Tax evasion
If you were to be removed by an underling, how would they do it?
Just calling the cops on me
Leaving a digital trail
Murder
Murder, but they'd make it look like an accident

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Do you like managing a team?
I will if I have to
No, I hate people
I'm good at it, but prefer not
I love it
Do you intend to name yourself?
No, I don't have time for that
Of course. Your handle is everything.
Yes, so they know I'm fearsome
Yes, so I can sum up my style
If someone else named you, who would it be?
Local cops
Other people who do what I do
Local gangs
Media

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Are you evil or just mischievous?
A little of both
Mostly mischievous
Not really either. I have my own code.
Mostly evil
How would you rob a bank?
Sure, if I knew how
So cleverly no one would know it happened
With a shotgun
I would become a client long enough to figure out the system, then put a team together
Do you like to live in fine style?
Not really
Fine but simple
I don't like that, it's too much bother
I need it

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Do you plan to go straight?
One day, maybe
No, this is too much fun
I won't live that long
I'll just run for office and pardon myself
Do you have an informant among the cops?
I have a friend or two
I have digital ones I put there myself
No but I have them on the streets
I have the entire department on payroll
Do you ever talk to the media about your outlaw ways?
No, they don't notice me
No, which is annoying because sometimes they get it wrong
No, they are scared of me
Sure, I just don't go on the record

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Would the public recognize you?
Locals might
Definitely not
If you recognize me it's because you're not just ordinary public
Probably
Do you care about your legacy?
Nope
It is all I care about
A little
Very much
Do you have style?
No
I do, even if no one sees it
I AM style, baby
Yes

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You Got: