What's Your Redneck Name?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
What's Your Redneck Name?
Image: harpazo_hope / moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

The redneck lifestyle is as old as America. While some of the things that surround it have certainly changed, it remains fundamentally the same. It's about not being pretentious, about prizing family, God, and community over material things, and about not caring what fancy-pants city folk think of you. 

The term "redneck" originates from a snobby way of referring to white workers who went out into the fields and had to work in the hot sun. They would get a sunburn on their neck, hence the literal "red neck." It was thus a truly classist way of mocking a group of people for having to do manual labor, which in that culture at that time, was deemed to be beneath the dignity of white folks in particular (the same people who coined the term had even worse terms for and ideas about Black people). 

The redneck cultural movement reclaimed the idea of blue-collar work as dignified by virtue of its honesty and difficulty, hence the embracing of the word redneck as a way to say that there is no shame in being poor or working hard; quite the contrary.

Where might you fit into this blue-collar, sunscreen-lacking culture? Let's find out.

Do you have a sofa in your yard?
Yes, where else would I put it?
Yes, momma refuses to move it; it's so embarrassing.
No, but I have a hammock.
I have proper yard furniture.

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Is your neck actually red?
It's crimson by now.
Not if I can help it.
Kinda, yes.
No.

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What instrument do you play?
A banjo.
Guitar, banjo, piano.
Harmonica, would you believe it?
Some piano.

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Do you listen to country music?
Yes, mostly bluegrass.
Yes, and I play it.
Sometimes, but also pop.
A little, alongside rock and classical.

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Did you go to college?
LOL, no.
I drive past it often and yearn for it.
Community, yes.
Yes, a four-year institution.

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How religious are you?
Less than you'd think.
God is with me all the time, so very.
Extremely.
More than you'd think.

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What sort of shape are your teeth in?
Both of them are very good!
Very good so far, thank goodness.
Healthy but not straight.
Perfect and straight.

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Do you like chewing a long piece of grass?
I'd answer that but you wouldn't be able to hear me around my mouthful of long pieces of grass.
No, momma says that's low class.
I do actually.
Never tried but it does look fun.

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What job do you do?
Odd jobs.
Waitress.
Pastor.
White collar job.

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Do you wear sunscreen?
What?
Of course, gotta protect my youthful complexion.
When I remember.
I wear moisturizer with SPF.

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Do you care what fancy people think of you?
I never met one, so no.
I'd say no, but I do, God help me.
Not really.
I care equally what all people think.

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What's your idea of dressed up?
Clean dungarees.
Sequins.
Jacket.
Black tie.

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Do you always have a Bible quote?
I think so, but my friend says they're not actually from the Bible
I have three that I rotate.
I have hundreds.
I have more than you'd think.

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What sort of house do you live in?
Shack.
Trailer.
Row house.
Suburban house.

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Do you ever miss your roots?
No, I'm sitting on them.
I can't escape them!
I would if I left.
I did, so I came back.

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Have you ever been overseas?
No, why would I?
I wish.
Once, with my church group.
Yes, annually.

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Can you line dance?
Yes, but I never stay in a straight line.
Yes, I'm really good.
Better than you'd think.
Not well.

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How many dungarees do you own?
All the dungarees.
A sparkly set for performing.
A couple, for gardening.
None.

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What do you drive?
Busted pickup.
Little tiny rustbucket.
Third-hand SUV.
Electric pickup.

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What do you have on your porch?
Guns, rocking chair.
Hammock.
Big cross.
Dining set.

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What drink do you like?
Beer
Cocktail
Wine
Water

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How hot is too hot?
105F
97F
85F
90F

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How often do you go to church?
Monthly
Twice weekly
Daily
Weekly

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How close by are the neighbors?
Scattered around.
Very near since it's a trailer park.
Just next door.
My garden is big so I can't see them.

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Do you dream of moving to the big city?
Ew, no.
Constantly.
Not really.
Already did, and came back.

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Do you ever think of going to night school?
Nah.
I am already!
I teach there actually.
I already have a degree so don't need to.

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Do you try to stay current with world events?
Nah, world ain't coming here.
I watch some news.
I read the local paper and occasionally check the Twitter.
Yes, I subscribe to several international news services.

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Do you think you can tell the weather?
Yes, my knee always knows.
No, that's for scientists.
I have a good idea about what the sky looks like before certain weather comes.
No, nobody can.

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Where do you store your guns?
On the porch.
In my glove box.
In a safe.
In a gun room.

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Do you smoke?
Yes, like a chimney.
I quit, it's bad for my voice.
Only once or twice a month for a treat.
Ew, no.

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You Got:

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