Which Ancient City Should You Time Travel To?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
6 min
Which Ancient City Should You Time Travel To?
Image: @ Didier Marti/Moment/Getty Images

About This Quiz

Anyone who has traveled the world knows that culture shock will happen to one degree or another in any country. Some countries have austere religious rules. Some countries have strange local customs which you don't want to violate lest you be branded as rude. In some places, it just comes down to navigating the city streets.

Add to that one's need to change over to the local currency, the need to dress more or less like a local, and finding out what sights you want to see, and you've got a big challenge ahead of you.

What if we could add to this challenge? What if we could offer you a time machine (don't worry, we know a guy) that would transport you to the ancient city of your choice? Were you paying attention in high school history? Do you have any idea of where you'd want to go?

Don't worry. We won't pressure you. In fact, we're here to help. We have come up with a simple quiz you can take right now to determine where to go. We'll ask you about your past travels, where you are interested in going in our time, and what you like and dislike about travel. With that data, we can determine what ancient city you should visit in your time-traveling adventures!

How important is it that there are English speakers where you are going?
Very important
I don't want anyone to speak anything like English.
As long as they use the Latin alphabet, I'm OK.
I just want to go someplace where they speak fun!

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How "extreme" do you want your cultural immersion?
Not at all extreme
I want it so extreme, it'll be X-Treme!
I'm just looking to put my toe in.
I want it to be extreme, but brief.

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Do you want to see the things all the other tourists see?
Yep! I'm on the path more taken.
No thanks! I will visit some pretty awful places to see cool things.
No way!
I want to see it all, and remember none of it.

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How much of this trip is going to just be you looking for a good time?
A bit, like normal.
I mean, if I see a cliff, I'm going cliff diving.
Very little
All of it man! Woo-hoo!

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How much do you like visiting Roman ruins?
They're pretty cool.
I'm a little tired of Roman ruins.
I'm all about Roman ruins!
I'm more interested in Roman bacchanalia.

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How likely are you to take part in something like The Running of The Bulls?
No way am I doing that. No.
I'll give it a shot! What's the worst thing that could happen?
I'll watch from a safe distance.
I'll do it! I'll do it on a dare!

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Would you like to visit a former war zone like Vietnam or Lithuania?
No thanks. Berlin, maybe.
I don't know. I'd like to visit a place that could have been!
Hell yeah! I'll bet the local history is fascinating.
No, I just want to hang out and have fun someplace cool.

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How many times have you visited Las Vegas?
Zero
Twice
Once
Many times!

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How much do you like spicy food?
Not at all! I like bland gruel!
I can handle a ghost pepper!
I like interesting spices.
Just give me some booze and I can eat anything.

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How much do you mind a hostile local population?
I mind it a lot!
I don't mind at all! I can smooth things over.
Look, as long as I can show I'm not part of the group they are hostile to, we're good.
I can take care of myself.

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How much are you into classical architecture?
It's cool, but I like the simpler stuff.
I need really crazy, off the wall architecture, not classical stuff.
Classical architecture is a wonder.
Classical what? Who cares?

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How many times have you been to Ibiza?
I flew near it once.
I went there once, on spring break.
None
I've been there more than once.

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How much do you like it to rain while you're on vacation?
I love rain! It's so atmospheric.
I don't mind some daily monsoons.
No thanks. I'd rather have only a little rain.
No rain at all, thanks.

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How much do you like the jungle?
Not one bit
I love it!
I like palm trees, but not the jungle.
Nope. Give me sand, not mud.

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Are you interested in meeting very impressive foreign leaders?
One or two would be cool.
Only if they're totally weird
That is totally up my street.
Only if they want to party all night!

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How many European cities have you been to mostly for the clubbing?
None
A couple. I mean, some are really only known for that.
One. I was in university.
I've lost count, man!

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How much are you interested in neolithic ruins?
Very interested! I'll travel far and wide for them!
Quite a bit. Who were these people?
Not at all. I like cultures with written languages.
Is "neolithic ruins" a term of art for "hangover cure"?

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How much do you like to try to unravel historical mysteries?
That sounds pretty awesome.
That sounds sort of awesome.
That's what I want to do on my trip.
I don't care about that at all.

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How comfortable are you with large animals?
Only dogs and horses, thanks.
I like monkeys and dolphins.
I love elephants!
The only animals I'm into are party animals!

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Have you ever visited a city explicitly for its black market or red light district?
No. Such places are full of tragedy.
I've gone to see them, but not to take part.
Some are of historical note, but I don't bother with them.
Yeah! Party time!

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How willing are you to be adventurous with strange foods like jellied eels?
Strange foods? I love jellied eels!
I'll eat anything.
No thanks, I like more traditional fare.
If it can be fried, I'm sure it's fine.

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Do you like unusual architecture?
Not really
I love that!
I like things to have a small twist, to make them more interesting.
Not unless it's a trendy bar

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Do you like to visit places likely to disappear because of things like climate change?
Nope
Yeah, especially when it's a place we hardly know anything about.
Yeah, I want to see places before they vanish from history.
Only if there's a good time in it for me!

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Do you see foreign travel as a chance to pursue sensual pleasures away from the prying eyes of your neighbors?
No. I'm not into that.
Well, I mean, if putting your life on the line counts as a sensual pleasure, I'm in!
That's immoral. No.
I'm going to have to take the fifth on this one ...

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How comfortable are you in a place that does not have a city plan for the way streets work?
Totally comfortable
Not at all comfortable
I'll manage.
I'll be too wasted for it to matter.

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Are you interested in cultures that very nearly were the dominant ones?
No. I'm too vanilla for that.
I like ones even more obscure than that!
Yeah! That's right up my street.
No, I'm not interested in culture at all.

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Would you like to vacation by the sea?
I'd rather be inland, by a river.
Not right on the sea.
That's perfect!
No way. Give me a desert.

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How much do you plan to drink while on vacation?
I'll have a few rounds, I think.
I'm going to stay sober so I can be all I can be!
I'll have a drink if there is a local wine.
I'm gonna get hammered, bro! Woo-hoo!

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Are you interested in strange local customs of dress?
I'm down with face painting!
Sure! I'll get into a loincloth!
Yeah, I'll wear a toga!
No way! I'm gonna be me, man!

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How much would you like to go someplace warm?
I want to go someplace temperate.
Send me someplace hot and humid!
Send me someplace hot but with a breeze.
I want to go someplace hot and dry.

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