Which "Baroness Von Sketch" Member Are You?

Ashley Linkletter

6 Min Quiz

Image: IFC

About This Quiz

An example of sketch comedy at its finest, the "Baroness Von Sketch Show" debuted on CBC Television in June of 2016. Made up of four Canadian members — Carolyn Taylor, Aurora Browne, Meredith MacNeill and Jennifer Whalen — the show tackles subjects such as office politics, expectations placed on women in today's society, LGTBQ+ topics and dating in the age of the internet. Never afraid to look as silly as humanly possible, the women of the "Baroness Von Sketch Show" play characters who range from slightly ridiculous to completely over-the-top. Viewers will discover a character who solves all of her life's problems with dry shampoo and a woman obsessed with her blanket scarf. They'll also get to witness a G4 summit run entirely by women (spoiler alert: world peace has been achieved). Four seasons in, the show is being called the best Canadian sketch comedy show since "The Kids in the Hall" — a truly distinguished compliment if there ever was one.

By answering the following questions, we'll be able to determine which member of the "Baroness Von Sketch Show" you resemble the most. Each member brings their own unique set of comedy skills to the program, and we want to find out which ones you possess as an honourary member of the troupe. As they say in episode 3 of season 3, "don't even say goodbye, just go."

IFC

You're stranded on a desert island with only a single hair product to your name. What is it?

I just let it air dry.

Dry shampoo!
Hair gloss

A deep conditioner

IFC

It's the Labour Day weekend. Where are you spending it?

Hovering around an intersectional feminist book club

At the cottage
At a clothing swap

Working at a trendy Toronto clothing store

IFC

Your friends take you to a pole-dancing class for your bridal shower. How do you react?

Like I was born to pole dance

I'm slightly unsure, but I go for it anyway.
Whooooo!

I grab a bucket of cleaning products and go to town.

IFC

You're trying to get into a 19+ dance club, but you've forgotten your ID. How are you going to convince the bouncer you're of legal age?

I ask them to look at all the grey in my hair.

I say, "Are you serious?"
I tell them my name is Lynda.

I turn around and leave.

IFC

In your opinion, what is the best thing about working in an office environment?

Emojis

Gossip
A good pant suit

A killer pair of eye glasses

IFC

Everyone has a secret talent, and you're no exception. What are you really good at?

Using dry shampoo

Hosting dinner parties
Building a campfire

Being a host at the cottage

IFC

Where did you develop your sketch comedy chops before starring in "Baroness Von Sketch"?

The Second City

"This Hour Has 22 Minutes"
"The Beaverton"

"Peep Show"

IFC

When someone meets you for the first time, what would their first impression probably be?

Oblivious to everything around me

Straight-laced and matronly
Clueless and sassy

Ditzy and flighty

Solstock/ Moment/ Getty Images

You're dining out with a friend — how do you behave when placing your order?

I sing my order in a baritone voice.

I ask a lot of questions.
I usually don't get to that point because my friend and I have moved tables so many times.

I tell them not to bother me.

redheadpictures/ Cultura/ Getty Images

Would you consider yourself someone who is easily distracted by their surroundings?

No, not at all

Yes, yes and yes
It depends where I am (it's worse if I'm in a restaurant).

Not really

photo by Cathy Scola/ Moment/ Getty Images

Everyone knows French fries are delicious and that you'd do anything to get your hands on some. What's your go-to strategy?

I order French fries from a restaurant.

I hem and haw at the window of the closest food truck until I'm given free French fries so I'll go away.
I don't eat French fries.

I make eye contact with a cute guy eating French fries and walk seductively towards him.

FG Trade/ E+/ Getty Images

'Fess up; you've been in trouble at the office before. Can you tell us what you were caught doing?

I was looking at pictures of kittens.

I was giving bad advice.
I wasn't using enough emojis in my office emails.

I was trying to get my co-worker who leaves 20 minutes early to pick up her kids a promotion.

AleksanderNakic/ E+/ Getty Images

What was the best thing you ever received at a clothing swap?

A pair of jeans which I later found out weren't meant to swapped

A really small red dress
A blanket scarf

Literally everything. I look amazing in all types of clothing because I'm so tiny.

IFC

You have a job marketing products for women and you and your co-workers are having a brain-storming session. What are some of the words on the whiteboard?

46 bows

Butterflies
Pink

Frilly lace

Solstock/ E+/ Getty Images

You're on a really, really bad date at a restaurant — what's going on?

My date wants to move tables every three seconds.

My date was fine, but my friend accosted me about the status of our relationship.
My date wouldn't stop complaining about every single item on the menu.

My date wouldn't stop explaining a book review that I wrote.

Yuichiro Chino/ Moment/ Getty Images

We all have something we're afraid of, and you're no exception. Which of the following options frighten you the most?

My horrible driver's license photo

Germs
Salad

I'm worried my cottage guests will cause a mess.

IFC

Most people have a secret alter-ego living inside of them. How would you describe yours?

A tough-as-nails cop

A vampy seductress
A rude, flighty sales attendant

A straight-laced business woman

Hinterhaus Productions/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

Tell us, do you think exercise is important or overrated?

I think it's fun — especially if I'm swimming.

Overrated (unless I'm being chased by the Grim Reaper on a treadmill)
I love taking pole-dancing classes.

Overrated — but I get a lot of exercise on the job.

Luis Alvarez/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

When you envision an all-female workforce, what comes to mind?

A hospital staffed only by women

The strong women I see on TV shows
An all-women G4 summit

A police force with only female officers

Martin Barraud/ OJO Images/ Getty Images

All of us can find ourselves getting frustrated by the small things from time to time. What is the most annoying scenario you can think of?

When someone makes me a terrible wrap at a sandwich restaurant

When I make a batch of vegan brownies and no one eats them
When my patients don't prep themselves for their caesarean section

When Siri sabotages my love life

Feifei Cui-Paoluzzo/ Moment/ Getty Images

It's fun to switch up hairstyles with wigs. Do you have a specific wig you like to wear on special occasions?

I prefer to style my own hair.

I like to wear hair extensions to amplify my already glorious head of hair.
A mullet wig (and a fake mustache if the occasion calls for it)

An '80s power-hair wig

IFC

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. What is the most outlandish scenario you've ever found yourself in?

At the centre of an out-of-control dance circle

On Mars
Gabbing with my pals around the operating table

In an Icelandic book vault

Charlie Schuck/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

Do you have a hidden talent no one else knows about? If you do, what is it?

I can wear a dress with pockets like no one else.

I know how to take my look from "meh" to "fabulous" using only a bottle of dry shampoo.
I'm a secret OB-GYN.

I know how to synchronized swim.

Jekaterina Nikitina/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

Would you describe yourself as an introvert or extrovert?

I'm extroverted, but I appreciate time to myself.

I'm an extrovert (and I take up a lot of personal space, too).
I'm an introvert, but I also definitely know how to party.

I'm a pleasing combination of both.

Justin Lambert/ DigitalVision/ Getty Images

Trying on clothes can be a truly frustrating — or wonderful — experience depending on who you're with. What was your last shopping excursion like?

Terrible. My friends made me try on a really tiny dress knowing it wouldn't fit.

Good! I picked up a pair of boyfriend jeans.
I was the one actually working in the change room, and I think I delivered exceptional customer service.

I couldn't find the sales person, so I went looking for my size without any clothes on.

IFC

We hate to bring up tragedy (especially on a comedy quiz), but can you share the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

I had to navigate a public washroom as a germaphobe.

I got really hyped up to argue with a cheesemonger about a piece of cheese I bought with a hair on it — and they provided me with excellent customer service.
I participated in a human behavioural study.

I was on the phone with tech support and I had to answer some super-embarrassing fan fiction questions while trying to retrieve my lost password.

IFC

Going out dancing with the ladies is one of your favourite activities. How would you describe your dancing style?

Pretty much like everyone else's

Bordering on professional
Very, very wild

I don't have a style; I have a good time!

IFC

If you had to pick a Joni Mitchell song that best describes you, which one would you pick?

"Dancin' Clown"

"Trouble Child"
"Both Sides Now"

"Court and Spark"

IFC

You're in a business meeting with several of your colleagues and need to ask a question. What are you about to ask?

"Can you ask my coworker to stop posting Facebook statuses about me?"

"Do you think Beyonce was mean to the other members of Destiny's Child?"
"How do I know when I've used enough emojis in my email?"

"Can someone stop my office mate from bringing me leftover broccoli soup?"

IFC

Let the sun shine in! What's the best day you've ever had?

I spent a day at the cottage with my husband and my friends.

I finally broke down and told my co-workers I didn't want to go out with them.
I spent it with my book club.

I found THE most amazing dress with pockets.

5 Minute Quiz 5 Min

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