Which Biblical Father Are You?

By: Torrance Grey

Which Biblical Father Are You?
Image: aldomurillo/E+/Getty Images

About This Quiz

The Bible is full of fathers - starting with Adam, or perhaps even starting with God, in the metaphoric sense! In the Old Testament, fatherhood is so important that we refer to Abraham, Jacob, and Isaac as the "patriarchs" of Genesis, who founded the nation of Israel. None of them had an easy time as fathers. Abraham did not father a child until late in life when he fathered Ishmael and Isaac, whose peoples would be longtime enemies. Isaac had twin sons, Esau and Jacob, who fought over the birthright of the firstborn. Then Jacob was tricked into marrying a woman he did not love - Leah, instead of her sister Rachel. He eventually married both women; his sons would become the founders of the Twelve Tribes of Israel.

In contrast, the New Testament is pretty low on fathers, chiefly because of the importance the early Christian church placed on celibacy. Staying unmarried and childless was considered the best path to serving Christ. However, there's a big exception in the gospels - Joseph, who is perhaps the perfect stepfather. He did not reject the pregnant Mary but had faith that she was, in fact, carrying the son of God. He raised that son as his own and taught Jesus his trade of carpentry. 

Which Biblical father do you most mirror? We've created a quiz to help you find out. Don't worry, though: "God the Father" is not one of the answer options. Some standards are too high for anyone to live up to!

Which of your family members are you closest to?
My father
My spouse/partner
One of my children
I'm a bit of a lone wolf, tbh.

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Are you the boss at work?
Oh, yes
I'm self-employed.
I'm more like a second-in-command.
No, I'm a rank-and-file employee.

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How would you describe your significant other?
A bit high-maintenance, tbh
Way too good for me
Nearly as smart as me
Which one?

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Are you close to your family of origin (parents/siblings)?
Yes, very
They fight a lot - I keep my distance.
We're geographically separated but talk all the time.
They've either passed away or drifted out of my life.

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How do you like to work out?
My job's pretty physical, so I don't work out.
Running or biking
An all-over workout like CrossFit
Long walks are enough for me.

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How do you resolve a fight with your significant other?
Probably buy an expensive gift as an apology.
I tend to say whatever will get me off the hook.
I usually just apologize, even if I'm not wrong.
Use logic and reason things out.

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How do you feel about relocating/moving?
I'm not a fan. I like where I'm from.
If it's necessary, I'll pull up stakes.
Relocating was a great career move for me.
I live right in the middle of the action! Why would I move?

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Do you think most parents have a favorite kid?
Oh, sure. I do, and my other kids probably know it.
No. Fairness is very important to me.
Fortunately, I just have one, so I don't have to deal with that.
They shouldn't - even step-children should be made to feel on equal footing.

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What would friends say is your best characteristic?
My intellect
My work ethic
My determination to get what I want
My ability to see the big picture

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What might friends say is your biggest flaw?
Sometimes I put work before my family.
I'm not very ambitious.
I'm not always so honest.
I can be detached and remote.

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What do you look for in a woman?
Wit equal to mine
Good looks - is that shallow?
Just an all-around good helpmate
Honesty

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How would you describe your financial circumstances?
I make bank!
I'm quite comfortable, thanks.
Doing okay, but I have a lot of mouths to feed.
I'm pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck.

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Have you ever made a mistake that your kids had a hard time forgiving you for?
Oh, to be sure
No, I don't think so.
I did, but the kids or kids in question bore part of the blame.
No, I tend to be very careful and reasonable in my dealings with my kids.

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Which sport would you most likely play?
A team sport, maybe basketball
Boxing or wrestling
Something mentally challenging, maybe fencing
Those days are behind me. Give me a game of poker.

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Have you always been faithful?
I'm afraid not.
Yes, I'm a one-woman guy.
Almost, but there was this one time...
My partner and I both believe in polyamory, so no.

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Which of these best describes you attitude toward life in general?
We only truly understand things in retrospect.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
The ends justify the means.
Knowledge is power.

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What's a good age to get married?
Later is better... you need to be financially settled first.
Any age, as long as you're truly in love.
When both parties are mature enough.
You mean the first marriage, right?

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Which of these desserts appeals most to you?
A scoop of ice cream in a classic flavor
Pie with coffee
A chocolate lava cake
Fruit and cheese

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What do you like to do on weekends?
Catch up on my sleep
Finish a good book
Go out to a baseball or football game
Spend time with my family

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Which of these encapsulates your approach to child-rearing?
Financial support is as important as being there.
I teach my kids everything my father taught me.
It's okay for kids to fight and compete; it's how they get strong.
A hands-off approach is best... they'll figure things out.

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A good first date should end with ...
Coming inside briefly and meeting her parents
A kiss on the doorstep
A little more than a kiss!
A small gift as a token of my appreciation

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Do you like to read?
Not really, to be honest.
I'd like to, but I'm so busy with family stuff.
Yes, but among other pursuits.
People complain that I'm almost constantly reading.

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What kind of pet would you like?
A dog, especially a Lab or Golden Retriever
A horse, for pleasure riding
My kids have enough pets as it is!
Something exotic, maybe a ferret.

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How do you deal with an unpleasant, gossiping co-worker?
Fire them. I'm in charge.
Just face them directly and have it out.
A bit of laxative in their coffee might get the point across.
Probably set them up using spy tech, and then reveal them for what they are.

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Are clothes important to you?
Yes. I'm successful, and I dress the part.
No. I'm successful, but I care more about comfort.
I like to have my kids looking sharp.
I do the best I can with the limited budget I have.

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Do you speak any foreign languages?
I've studied another language, but didn't become fluent.
I'm bilingual.
Several, and quite fluently
I'm afraid not.

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Which of these drinks is closest to your favorite?
Wine or brandy
A good IPA
Red Bull
Green tea

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When two of your kids are fighting, how do you resolve it?
Separate them
I take the side of the kid with the better argument.
I make them talk it out, and just supervise the process.
That's my partner's job; I've got other things on my mind.

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Which of these do you think would be your spirit animal?
An owl
A horse
A fox
A bear

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Which of these do you think your kids might choose as your epitaph?
A standard "Beloved father, grandfather and great-grandfather."
"Our dad: Forever in our hearts."
"Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you." (Proverbs 4:6)
"He lived a good long time, and had a good time as long as he was here."

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