Which Blues Brother Are You?

By: Steven Miller

5 Min Quiz

Image: Youtube

About This Quiz

We're getting the band back together and we're on a mission from God to save the Catholic orphanage with our music. Take this quiz to find out if you're Jake or Elwood Blues.

Are you more likely to be in jail or to be the one picking someone up from jail?

In jail

Picking up
Slightly more likely to be in jail

Slightly more likely to be the one picking up

Which is most like your vehicle?

An old police car

The Cadillac
A wrecked junker

Something new and shiny

Can you lie to a nun?

Absolutely

No way
It's unlikely.

It's possible.

Which describes your body type best?

Tall

Short
Stout

Thin

Are you likely to get the cane from a nun first or second?

First

Second
I'm the only one getting smacked.

We're both going to get it at about the same time.

What are your thoughts on redemption?

We need to make a move towards redemption.

It's a load of crap.
What do we have to lose?

I have my doubts.

What are your feelings on listening to the preacher's sermon?

I don't need no preacher to show me anything.

The preacher will show us the way.
I'm feeling redeemed already.

This is a con.

What is your initial reaction to James Brown as your preacher?

Impressive

I'm trying to hide how impressed I am.
This is the best sermon I've ever heard.

What in the world?

Have you seen the light?

Yes!

What light?
I think I might have seen it.

Not yet.

How good of a dancer are you?

I'm not bad.

It would surprise you how good I am.
I'm not very good.

I'm incredible. You might think it was a stunt double.

What are your thoughts about getting the band back together?

Let's do it.

Everybody's moved on to regular jobs. Probably not gonna happen.
It's a terrible idea.

It's our only hope for redemption.

Are you more of a driver or passenger?

Driver

Passenger
I'd rather drive, but I get stuck in the passenger seat a lot.

I drive, but I'm kind of a wreck waiting to happen.

Are the cops gonna catch you?

It doesn't look good.

They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.
Eventually, yes.

Nah, I know a shortcut through this mall.

Would you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist?

Optimist

Pessimist
Mostly an optimist

Mostly a pessimist

Where do you prefer to do your driving?

The expressway

There's lots of space in this mall, I like it here.
When I drive it's mostly a demolition derby.

I hardly ever drive.

How likely are you to have some Cheez Whiz on you?

It's highly likely.

What? No.
There's a decent chance.

It's highly unlikely.

Do you cook?

Not really.

Yes, if plain toast counts.
I'm a terrible cook.

I'm a good cook.

Where do you live?

My registration says I live at Wrigley Field.

I stay with family.
I have a place.

Wherever I can find a place to crash.

Are you employed?

We're getting the band back together.

I have a job down at the factory.
I used to have a job.

I'm working on it.

How well do you fit it at a fine dining establishment?

All the heads turn when I walk into the room.

I've got the lingo down.
Who would want to fit into this snooty bunch?

I stick out like a sore thumb.

What are your thoughts on Aretha Franklin as your waitress?

Seemed a little dramatic to me.

Terrible service, but she sure can sing.
Can I get my order, please?

She's a better singer than a waitress.

What do you think of the deals at Ray's Music Exchange?

Kind of a rip off, but the guy sure can play.

The deals are terrible, we'll take it.
We'll pay whatever he wants.

I have a feeling it will be worth it.

What are your thoughts on Nazis?

Always fun to send them on a wild goose chase.

I like to run 'em off the road when I can.
I hate Nazis.

They aren't particularly smart.

How are you at thinking on your feet?

I'm more of a follower.

I'll figure it out.
I'm pretty great.

I'm not that quick.

Are you sure this is the place?

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, this is the place.

I'm pretty sure this isn't the place.
It isn't, but we'll make it work anyway.

This is definitely not the place.

What's your instrument?

Harmonica

Vocals
Saxophone

Keyboard

How are your blackmailing skills?

Not that great, but I'll give it a try.

Did I mention we're on a mission from God?
They are great.

They are terrible.

How are your promotional skills?

I'll get the word out over the loudspeaker on my car.

I'm more of the brains of the operation.
I'm more of the print marketing type.

I'll fill up that concert, don't you worry.

How are your sabotaging skills?

I'm more of an observer on that front.

I have it all figured out.
Not very good.

Excellent.

Orange Whip?

No thanks.

Sure.
What is an Orange Whip?

Three Orange Whips.

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