Which "Casablanca" Character Are You?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which "Casablanca" Character Are You?
Image: The Movie DB

About This Quiz

"Casablanca" is a classic of western cinema. Historically, it tells the story of a geopolitical crossroads during World War 2. Dramatically, it is a story about lost loves and what could have been. Which "Casablanca" character are you?
If you saw a wallet sitting unattended in the street, what would you do?
I'd make sure it wasn't a Pigeon Drop con and hand it into the nearest person I trusted
I'd check it for cash and steal the ID
I'd take the ID, in case I needed it
I'd leave it
If you were faced with an authority figure who wanted you to do something you know is wrong, what would you do?
I'd deck that knucklehead
If I could make money from it, I'd do it
I'd run
I'd probably get arrested
Would you risk your neck for the greater good?
Yes, under protest
No way!
I would, and I am
I would, I am, and I have done

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Would you sacrifice your life for the greater good?
I don't know
Absolutely not
If it came to it
I already had to once
Would you sacrifice your happiness for the greater good?
Yes
No
I would but under protest
I'd sacrifice my happiness for any good
Would you sacrifice your heart for the greater good?
Yes, sadly
No way!
I wouldn't want to
I'd sacrifice anything for that

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Are you capable of running a business?
Yes
Yes, but not well
I don't know
I hope to one day
Are you able to supervise employees?
Yes, I'm very good at that
No
I'm not a boss
I'm a bad boss who leaves his employees in a lurch
Would you run an ethical shop?
I'm an honest thief
No
I would try
I would

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If you ran a charity, would it be out of a sense of charity?
If I did, it would be
No
Of course I would
I'm insulted you'd even ask
Are you a good negotiator?
Yes
I'm okay
I'm not great at that
I'm terrible at that
How sentimental are you?
I'm very sentimental
I'm unsentimental
I repress my sentimentality
I'm only sentimental for my homeland

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Are you passive-aggressive?
I'm so passive-aggressive
No, I'm aggressive-aggressive
I'm not, though I can get defensive
I have no time for such behavior
Do you know your way around the less savory parts of town?
Like the back of my hand
I'm the person who makes them less savory
Not in Casablanca
Not outside of my homeland
Do you respond well to the presence of a romantic rival?
No
Romance isn't my thing
I don't know how I'd respond
Yes

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Are you master of all you survey?
Most of it
I have my own corner
I'm a fish out of water
I'm a master of nothing
Do people try hard to curry your favor?
All the time
Only when they want something from me
They do, but they do it for the wrong reasons
No
How good looking are you?
I'm scruffy
I look like a lizard
I'm so good looking
I'm pleasant enough

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Are you loved?
I don't think so
No
Yes, by more than one suitor
Yes
Do you love anyone more than yourself?
Yes, and it's my Achilles heel
No
I love several people more than myself
I love millions more than myself
How much do you stand out in your environment?
I stick out like a sore thumb
I blend right in
I only stand out because I'm so attractive
I blend in reasonably well, except that I have a famous face

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Do you have a rival?
Yes, and it eats me up inside
I have many so I'm always on guard
No
Yes, though I'm not worried about it
How is your relationship with the Nazis?
I try to keep under their radar. Not that they have radar.
They're good for business, but I'll kill them if it benefits me
They are an abomination
They are my mortal enemies
Do you fly the flag for any nation?
No, it's not a good idea
No, it's bad for business
Not overtly, as I'm a spy
Yes, and not just one nation but several

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Are your people suffering?
My people are doing just fine right now
I have no people
No, but they will
Yes, terribly
Do you plan on taking up arms in this war?
No way
Only to my own ends
Arms? No, but I will work for one side
Yes
What was the lowest point in your life?
When the love of my life left me
When I got caught stealing and got beat up
Breaking the heart of a loved one
Being tortured, literally

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If you were alive today, where would you live?
Macau
Monaco
The Netherlands
Hungary
If you were alive today, what would you view as a threat as big as the Nazis?
Forces in my homeland
MS-13
Russia
North Korea
What other movie character do you relate to?
Col. Dax ("Paths of Glory")
Quark ("Deep Space Nine")
Red Sonja
Indiana Jones

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You Got: