Image: Collage; Private Jocker, Gny. Sgt. Hartman, Animal Mother
About This Quiz
There's nothing like the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory. War is Hell, and let's face it, you're pretty metal about Hell. Let's find out which "Full Metal Jacket" character you are.
Why did you join the marines?
To defend my country, sir
Sir! To kill people sir!
To... date... women overseas
To serve my beloved corps
Where in hell are you from, puke?
Ohio, sir.
Sir, the private believes any answer he gives will be wrong, and the senior drill instructor will beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir!
California
Sir! Arizona, sir!
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Do you think I'm joking?
Sir no sir, heh heh heh
Sir no sir
I'm keeping my mouth shut
Do you think I'm some kind of clown?
Do you think I'm funny?
Huh, yes I do
Sir no sir
Sir, that guy over there was laughing, sir
Do you want me to make your life a living hell?
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Did your parents have any children who lived?
Heh heh...
Am I John Wayne?
Don't mess with me, man
Who said that? Which one of you slimy scumbags just signed his own death warrant?
Are you going to get over this obstacle while we're young?
I'm trying sir!
Sir yes sir!
Argh!
Don't look at me! Get over this obstacle, scumbag!
What do you pray for, maggot?
War...
A beer and a weekend to relax
More ammo
You calling me a "maggot"? Ten miles I want to see out of you, recruit!
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What are you a minister of, puke?
Death
Death and jokes!
What do I look like, a newbie?
How dare you call me "puke"? You owe me fifty!
What is your major malfunction?
I'm not happy
I had no idea of what I was getting into
I like war too much
Get on your face and give me twenty five!
What is your primary weapon, soldier?
An M4 in a sniper configuration
My notebook
An M60
Whatever object you put in my hands, I can turn in to a weapon
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Do you like your teacher?
He must die
I respect him
He's my spiritual father
I don't have to like him
Do you wear glasses?
No, I just need a scope
Yes
No, I'm perfect
No, and you don't think I can see what you're doing?
Outside of killing, what skills are you bringing to my beloved corps?
Eating
Journalism
Nothing I can say in polite language
Teaching
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Are you psychologically stable?
Heh heh heh
I'm as stable as the next man
I'm as stable as I need to be
I may not seem that way, but I am
What is your song?
"The Ants Go Marching"
"Give Peace a Chance"
"Welcome To The Jungle"
"The Marine Corps Hymn"
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How smart are you?
I'm not the brightest
I'm pretty clever
I'm smart enough to do my job
I am Einstein compared to you, pukes!
Are you willing to be cruel to do the right thing?
Cruel? I am cruelty
I have to be cruel sometimes, but I hate it
Of course
That's my job
Do you walk point?
I would, but no one would let me
No, in the rear with the gear
Yes
A marine should be able to do any job
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Would you make a good sniper?
Yes, the best
No, I don't have the nerves for it
No, I like to fire a lot of rounds
I would if I applied myself to it
Will you be able to adjust to life after the war?
No...
Yes, but I will remain changed
I won't fit in anywhere
I will remain in the corps
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Were you pushed into the service?
Yes, and I hate it
No, I volunteered because I think it'd be fun
I was gently encouraged
I chose this life
Do you have a family tradition in the marine corps?
No
My grandfather
Not the corps specifically
Yes, going back to the war of 1812
Do the rules matter to you?
I'm not good with rules
I skirt by
There are no rules in 'nam
The rules are there to keep you alive
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Do you bounce back well?
No
Yes, but it's hard
I don't bounce. Things bounce off of me.
I can take anything
Do you have an eating disorder?
Yes
No
I like eating the flesh of my enemies
The corps doesn't allow it
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You Got: