Which Dragon From “Dragons’ Den” Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
7 min
1 - How do you behave How do you behave when a new entrepreneur enters the den?
I wear my best sour poker face.
I try not to convey emotion, so as to allow the presentation to go on unmolested by my indirect influence.
I try to look relaxed, so the presenter will relax.
I remain businesslike, poised to take notes.

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2 - likely are you to invest How likely are you to invest in a business when you believe the owner is unfit, but the business is sound?
There's no way I'd invest.
I might invest if I can assert sufficient control over the business.
I would invest if another dragon went in with me on the investment.
I wouldn't touch it at all unless I was given nearly complete control of the business side of the business.

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3 - invoke your family How often do you invoke your family in explaining why you would or would not invest?
I do this as often as I can since they are frequently in my thoughts.
Very rarely
I do this occasionally, but only in passing and only when I am very emotionally involved
Never

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4 - how much equity is your minimum bid When you do invest in a breathtakingly inexperienced entrepreneur on your own, how much equity is your minimum bid?
60%
40%
51%
70%

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5 - longest stretch of episodes What is the longest stretch of episodes you would go without making a successful bid for investment?
Four
Three
Two
Five

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6 - personal debt Would you invest in an otherwise promising business if the owner had amassed considerable personal debt to keep the business going during the development stage?
No, not in 1,000 years
I would invest if the situation was the result of factors that would have ruined anyone's efforts, given the business.
If I believe in the entrepreneur, I'll do it.
It's possible that I would invest, provided that the business will, if properly run, erase the debt in three years or less, while still turning a profit.

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7 - number one characteristic What is the No. 1 characteristic you look for in an investable start-up?
A solid balance sheet
Trustworthy, clever owners
Passionate owners who know the market, if not how to run an actual business
A business I wish I'd thought of

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8 - leave "Dragons' Den If you were to leave "Dragons' Den" for another programme, what sort of television programme would that be?
I'd want to be on a survival-type of reality show.
Something akin to "Kitchen Nightmares," only about businesses, not restaurants
I would want to be a presenter and interviewer on a sport programme.
I would want to do something to inspire young people to take control of their own destiny, whatever that is.

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9 - steer clear of What industry do you steer clear of at all costs?
Technology ... Everyone thinks they understand it, but no one does.
Entertainment ventures like theatre shows and the like
Shipping holds little interest to me.
Party planning ... It's just too easy to become just the flavour of the month.

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10 - niche area In what niche area would you take extra interest in investing?
Fitness devices
Logistics
Adventure businesses
The restaurant business

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11 - under your skin What behaviour really gets under your skin?
When someone just assumes I'll share their passion for nonsense
When it's clear that someone is hiding something from me
When someone leaves out an important detail that comes up during due diligence
Rudeness about my opinions

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12 - prepare your one-liners Do you prepare your one-liners in advance, or come up with them on the spot?
I have a team work on them, a focus-group test them, and then prepare them for me.
I just come up with them on the spot and refine the ones that work best.
I improvise all of them on the spot.
I don't believe in one-liners. I prefer authenticity.

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13 - motivate your departure What would motivate your departure from the den?
Boredom
Once my profile is sufficiently raised, I'm out.
I just can't imagine leaving the den.
I would go if I felt I needed to spend more time with my family.

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14 - view of the other dragons What is your view of the other dragons?
They're soft.
None of them worked as hard as I did.
They don't know how to handle big risks like I do.
They're smart, driven and worthy of me.

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15 - best business person Of the other dragons, who do you think is the best business person?
Deborah Meaden
Peter Jones
Theo Paphitis
James Caan

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16 - odds you would invest What are the odds you would invest in a business when you have tremendous faith in the business owner, but little in the business itself?
I would need a lot of control over the business, so it would be about 50-50.
The person is the asset in which I prefer to invest.
If they proposed another business in which I was the least bit interested, I would invest.
I would not invest if the business was that weak.

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17 - bear down, and come up refusing On what detail are you most likely to bear down and come up refusing to invest?
Profits, profits, profits
The growth vector of the business
Accrual accounting
Cost to run the business versus expected growth

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18 - personal quality What personal quality most recommends an entrepreneur to you?
Wits
Integrity
Passion
Honesty

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19 - personal accusation What does it take for you to make a personal accusation in the den?
If I feel someone hasn't answered my questions, I'll let them have it.
I would have to catch someone in a lie.
I would have to find out that there was some sort of double-dealing going on.
I would do it if I felt the business itself were unethical.

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20 - extract the truth How do you extract the truth from someone in the den who you suspect of being economical with the truth?
I bully them.
I try to catch them out on their numbers and then ask a disarming question.
I drill down on all the details surrounding the suspected lie.
I innocently ask about things until I get a soft truth and then compare it to the lie.

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21 - presence in the den Do you see your presence in the den as a real opportunity to invest in the successful businesses of tomorrow, or something else?
It's all a stunt to become famous.
I think I might find s great new business, but if not, it will be fun.
I'm definitely interested in finding a future business in which to invest.
I'm only here to find a new opportunity.

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22 - plans for after What are your plans after you make your final departure from the den?
I want a title.
I will use the experience to inform my other ventures.
I'll retire.
I'll spend more time away from work, though I'm not retiring.

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23 - identify with the entrepreneurs Do you identify with the entrepreneurs who enter the den?
No, they're all pathetic.
Yes, but not all of them
Most of them, yes, even the silly ones
Yes, all of them

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24 - connections What type of connections do you have to offer hopefuls who enter the den?
I know everyone in the hotel business.
If it ships, I know who does it.
I know people in just about every area of business.
When it comes to food, I know everyone.

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25 - manner of experience What manner of experience do you have that would recommend you as a mentor and not just an investor?
I elbowed my way to the top of my industry.
I have put it all on the line for my dreams.
I started early and worked hard my entire life building my dreams.
I've started businesses and turned businesses around.

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26 - feared by entrepreneurs Are you feared by entrepreneurs in the den?
Oh, yes
Some, perhaps, but I shouldn't be feared unless they're being dishonest with me.
No, unless they're afraid of everyone
No, never

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27 - suggest How would you suggest that an entrepreneur cease their current behaviour?
I'd tell them to shut up.
I'd use a polite colloquialism to describe my annoyance.
I would make a joke at their expense but not a one-liner.
I would frown and politely tell them to stop, perhaps also raising my voice.

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28 - long do you plan to remain How long do you plan to remain a dragon on "Dragons' Den"?
About 10 years, give or take
Just a year or two
As long as it's on television
A year or two, unless life intervenes

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29 - Dragons' outfits Dragons' outfits may only be worn for a day or two, but they appear for an entire season. What would you want your clothes to say about you?
Physical intimidation
Power
Dignity
Respect

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30 - worst possible outcome What do you view as the worst possible outcome of investing in a bad business in the den?
I have to live down the fact that I was a sucker.
I lose my investment.
I waste my time on it.
I fear investing in the future, which could mean passing on a wonderful opportunity.

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