Which English City Should You Live In?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which English City Should You Live In?
Image: joe daniel price / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

A lot of people who don't live in the United Kingdom tend to think that London is the only city in the country—indeed, any Brit who has traveled abroad has often had the experience of telling people they're British only to have it be assumed that they are from London. It's also very common for England and the United Kingdom to be treated as though they're interchangeable, erasing Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland from the mix. This is a shame, as it erases an awful of lovely places that are well worth a visit—and which might even be terrific places to live!

It is true that London is the biggest city in the U.K. by some orders of magnitude, and thus the biggest city in England (the latter being the largest of the U.K.'s component nations). However, there is plenty of culture and opportunity to be found in smaller cities such as Birmingham, Manchester and others. There are also a number of cities that grew out of very charming older market towns, and while they're on the small side as cities go, they can offer a more laid-back way of life with much lower housing costs, and they are still in or near an area brimming with employment opportunities. Ultimately, England's not a very big place, and nowhere is very far from anywhere, meaning that whatever primary qualities you're looking for in a city, not only can you probably find it, but it's quite likely that you can find several other cities nearby that provide you with everything you need. Let's see if we can identify the U.K. city that's right for you!

Where do you want to spend your downtime?
A trendy bar
My cozy cottage
My mansion
The pub, of course

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What sort of countryside do you prefer?
Farmland and woodland
Open and covered in Neolithic barrows
"Garden of England"-style cuteness
Wild and untamed

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What's your tolerance for hot weather?
Below average
Moderate
Pretty good
Nil

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Do you mind if foreigners haven't heard of your city?
Yes, I mind!
I prefer it, actually.
I don't feel strongly.
I don't mind much.

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What is the maximum acceptable distance to London?
100 miles
150 miles
40 miles
No maximum

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How do you feel about a high cost of living?
It's tolerable.
It's not okay.
It's desirable; keeps the riffraff away.
I hate it.

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Would you commute to another town every day?
No thanks
Sure!
I'd love to!
I doubt it.

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Do you have oodles of money?
I don't, but I hope to one day.
I have enough, that's all.
So many oodles
LOL, I'm broke, man.

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What sport do you love best?
Tennis
Hiking
Rowing
Football (soccer)

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What sort of people do you want to hang out with?
Young professionals
Regular folks with families
Oligarchs
Chilled-out blokes

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What industry do you work in?
The arts
Finance
Stripping nations for parts, then laundering the money. So, finance, I guess?
Manufacturing

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What watersport do you love best?
Kayaking
Does going to the spa count?
If not rowing, then water polo
Swimming in the cold ocean

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Can you understand a really strong regional English accent?
If it's not TOO strong
Depends on the region
No, and I don't want to.
Yes

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How near the sea is ideal?
As far as possible
I don't care.
50 miles
Practically in it, ideally

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Which national park do you want to visit most?
Peak District
New Forest
South Downs
Northumberland

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What British political party sucks the least?
Labour (Blair style)
Liberal Democrat
The Tories
Labour (Corbyn style)

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What is your ideal home like?
Nice detached house on a leafy street
Farmhouse or cottage
McMansion, or regular mansion if available
Terraced house or flat

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Do you need to fly internationally for work?
Once in a while
Only to Ireland
Yes, constantly
I haven't yet.

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Do you want to see tourists in your town?
A few, sure
As long as they are real tourists and not Russian spies, then yes
Ew, no. Unless you mean tax exiles, then sure.
I'd prefer not.

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Are you planning to raise a family?
Maybe
I already am!
I'm planning to pay people to do it, but I suppose so.
Eventually

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How do you want to get around?
Bus
Bike
Chauffeur
Walk

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Do you think Brexit is mostly good or mostly bad?
Terrible. It's economically disastrous, so all the young people in Britain will lose opportunities and be more exploitable.
Mostly bad because it's clear there never was a plan
Marvelous. It's economically disastrous, which means I can exploit all the young people in Britain forever!
Good. Sovereignty is important to me.

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Do you have family on another continent?
Yes, a lot in South Asia.
Yes, a few in Europe.
Yes, all of them.
Not that I know of.

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How important is lightning-fast internet?
Life or death
Not very important as long as it works
Important
I've heard it's good, but I can't comment.

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What are you drinking?
Water
Wine
Cocktail
Beer

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How long can you go without eating a salad?
A couple of days
A day
I only eat protein manufactured in a lab.
What is a salad?

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What are coats for?
Looking fashionable while being warm
Being warm and dry, even if they don't look so good
Hiding your money in when you go through customs
Wimps!

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How tough are you?
50%, I suppose?
I have my moments.
I hire people to be tough for me.
I am hard as nails.

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How often do you like to see live theater?
Monthly
A few times a year
Weekly
More than zero

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How many neighbors is too many?
No amount!
A few nice ones
I don't care as long as I can't see them through my security fence and high hedges.
It totally depends on who they are.

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You Got:

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