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About This Quiz
The English throne has stood for a thousand years, and it's had a lot of occupants in that time. Each of them stamped their own distinctive style on the office. Which of them are you? Take this quiz to find out!
How do you handle dissenting subordinates?
Burn them.
Hear them out and genuinely consider what they have to say.
Declare war on them.
Have them mysteriously vanished.
What's your signature style?
Pimpin' lace collar and a whole lotta velvet.
Poppin' block colors and a statement piece.
Fur trim on everything and sexy tights. I have great legs.
Heaps of brocade and a natty hat.
What do you look for in a spouse?
I don't look for a spouse. Spouses look for me.
A well-bred, supportive, but politically incorrect type who adores me.
Someone who can unite our warring houses.
A very, very, very rich father and only one co-inheritor.
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What's your favorite pastime?
Burning Catholics. Also, fashion and going to the theater.
I love shooting, fishing, and hiking.
Gambling, archery, and wrestling.
Reading, which is why I encourage people to make books. Nothing physical, that's for sure.
What do your critics say is the biggest hole in your claim to the throne?
My gender.
Being somewhat German.
Not being descended through the male line.
Murdering my nephews which I totally didn't do, not even once.
What do people say is your greatest personal flaw?
They used to say it was my temper, but after I burned most of those people, they realized I don't have any.
They say I'm out of touch, which is ironic, considering that I've met half the planet and most of them only leave Islington to go to Courchevel for the ski season.
I might possibly like to skim a little off the top of certain governmental departments.
Where do I start? I'm ugly, deformed, murderous, in love with my niece, asexual, and just an all-round terrible person.
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What would even your biggest detractor admit is a good quality of yours?
I am a very effective leader and can inspire people to want to do what I want.
I am dignified, self-controlled, and self-sacrificing, and nearly everyone likes me.
I'm a good battle commander and I love my spouse.
I pay attention to the North, even though it is full of peasants, and try to make their lives better.
What do you hope will be your legacy?
That I made England peaceful, wealthy, and powerful.
That I served with diligence and gave the people hope.
That I laid the groundwork for the future mightiness of our nation.
That I wasn't the monster my successors' propaganda made me out to be.
What do you fear will be your legacy?
That I was selfish for not having an heir.
That I presided over the moral decay of society.
That I was a brute who got everything I have by force and did not deserve it.
That I am a nephew-killing jerk.
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How do you feel about a police state?
Sounds like a plan!
No need for such nastiness.
No need. Put down the biggest villains and the rest fall in line.
I wish I'd had time for one of those.
Are you a patron of the arts?
Certainly am, though do be careful about making things that cross me.
Absolutely.
Not really.
Sort of - I got a lot of books printed.
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How do you feel about the pound?
Expanding the wealth of the nation is part of my duty.
Best left to the Bank of England.
I standardized that so hard.
I'll worry about that when I have time.
Tower of London: what is it good for?
It's surprisingly comfy.
Storing jewelry. Also, a very good museum.
Imprisoning enemies, duh.
It has all sorts of secret nooks and crannies.
Have you ever hurt a child?
I was hurt as a child, so I would never.
No. Indeed, I do a lot of work on childhood education and promoting opportunity and good health.
No, I like to wait until my enemies grow up before I chop off their heads.
People keep asking me that. It's so unfair.
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What's the biggest problem England faces?
Religious division and foreign enemies.
Uncertainty about the future.
Enemies within and without.
The prospect of successful rebellion.
What's something many people would be surprised to learn about you?
I have lovers, but I don't talk about it.
I'm incredibly funny and have a risque sense of humor.
I had an arranged marriage but still fell in love.
I care a lot about poor people.
What are your favorite symbols?
Lions and dragons.
Lions, unicorns, and dragons.
Lions, dragons, and roses.
Lions and white boars.
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If not a monarch, what would you like to be?
If the concept were around for me, probably a CEO.
Philanthropist
Military leader
Writer
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What Beyonce song could be your theme song?
Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)
Run the World (Girls)
Formation
Best Thing I Never Had
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How important is name recognition to you?
Very. I want my enemies in particular to know who I am and what I stand for.
It's a side effect of doing the right thing.
It's not important.
I sort of wish people would talk about me less, actually.
Besides English, what language do you speak?
French, Latin, and Spanish
German and French
French and Latin
French
What is England to you?
Something to protect.
Something to serve.
A birthright.
Something to control.
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What's your worst fear?
Marrying the wrong person.
Letting my people down.
Dying at the hands of those not worthy to tie my shoes.
Oh, mine happened, big time.
Where do you see England in 500 years?
Wealthy, full of art and music, a major world player.
Free, fair, and democratic (yes, I'm for that).
Rich, peaceful, and strong.
Solvent and united, hopefully.
How do you feel about Scotland?
A thorn in England's side.
I love England and Scotland equally.
They're a good friend to England.
I do not have time to think about it yet.
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You Got: