Which Famous Thoroughbred Races in Your Veins?

By: Laura DeFazio
Estimated Completion Time
8 min
You're out at the racetracks, hoping to win a little money on the horses. How do you place your bets?
You meticulously analyze the charts and choose the horse with the greatest statistical odds of winning. You put down a decent sum, but nothing reckless.
You put all your money down on that scrappy little thing that hasn't won a race yet, because you believe they've got it in them. All your money ain't much, but it's a show of good faith.
You divide your money all over the place, choosing the horses with character that you just have a good gut feeling about. Maybe you wagered a little more than some would think wise, but hey, your gut's usually right.
You put down a hefty some on the reigning champ. You're pretty sure they'll win again, but if not, it's all right. You've got plenty more money where that came from.

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You just woke up from a nightmare about your own death. How did you die?
Trekking through the Arctic, you develop frostbite in your feet. It begins to spread...
Your beloved leaves you for another, and you die of a broken heart.
A toast! You sip your wine and... is that poison?
It couldn't have been much of a nightmare, because you certainly don't remember the particulars.

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It's a perfect day for a pick-me-up match in the park with your friends. What do you play?
Netball
Baseball
Boxing
Cricket

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Tonight's your second date. You run home to change out of your sweaty stable wear. What do you put on instead?
Your favorite newsboy cap and everyday clothes. They might be a little worn, but they're clean and ironed.
Rugged clothes, perfect for outdoor adventures. Plus, they show off your toned, tan physique.
An expensive suit or dress of a classic cut, in a striking-but-tasteful color.
A contemporary, well-tailored ensemble incorporating the latest trends from across the pond.

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Where would you prefer to spend your retirement?
In the Midwest
In the U.K.
Retirement? I want to work til I drop.
In California

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Boy howdy, you're off to watch the Kentucky Derby this weekend! What's your favorite thing about attending the event?
Nothing beats an occasion to don your fanciest fancy hat and mingle with high society while sipping on a cool mint julep.
Well, you can't actually attend-attend the event, not at that price, but you love hanging out in the local pub with your pals, yelling at the TV and cheering on the underdogs.
The people watching! And making new friends. You love mingling around the crowd, talking to all those horse enthusiasts from around the world.
You like to make an appearance, as it's important to be involved in the community, but honestly you'd rather be at home helping the kids with their homework and prepping for the busy work week.

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You get a little peckish in the afternoon. What do you snack on to tide you over until dinner?
A steak
Some saltines
Vegemite on toast
A few cups of tea

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If you had to describe your physical appearance as one of the following, which would you choose?
Small and spry
Strong and muscular
You were kind of pimply and gangly as a teenager, but you've really come into your own since.
Healthy skin and lush, dark locks

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How do you like to spend your weekend if you're not out watching horse races?
Rock climbing, or maybe snorkeling
Attending your kids' sporting events, and then taking a drive through the countryside
Hanging out with your friends and neighbors at the local pub
Hosting a fancy cocktail party

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Which type of environment do you feel the most natural affinity with?
Grassy lowlands and drizzly weather
The open ocean
Hot desert lands
Sunny country farmland

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It's a normal work day, whatever constitutes a normal work day for a horse like you. Which type of saddle do you prefer to wear?
Something strong and sturdy, good for long days working at the ranch. A solid horn on the front would be nice; you don't need the rider falling off and getting trampled when he's trying to rope things.
You prefer the strong and sturdy model as well, because you like that classic western American style. Only the finest quality leather, please.
You'd prefer a lighter, sleeker model. It might take a little more skill for the rider to stay in the saddle, but the close contact lets you read body language better. Plus, you only work with the best riders, anyway.
You like a lightweight affair as well--none of these huge, lumbering leather things--but you'll allow that the rider probably needs some protection from all the diverse terrain you ramble around in. Knee pads? Sure. A deeper seat? Okay. None of this horn nonsense, though--the rider needs to be able to move with you going up and down all those hills.

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You may be a horse, but you have an appreciation for human history as well. Who is your favorite U.S. President?
Abraham Lincoln
John F. Kennedy
George Washington
Teddy Roosevelt

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Which animal do you feel the most affinity with? (Besides horses, of course.)
The cheetah
The golden retriever
The sting ray
The lion

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Your job feels the least like work when...
You're attending screenings of various popular films about your life.
The rankings speak for themselves and you're publicly recognized as the top of your field.
You're speaking at a press conference.
You're being sent on business trips to various exotic locations.

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Your foals are...
Numerous
Successful
Generally unremarkable
Foals? Like, children? No thank you. I would like to continue to have a life.

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You're a discerning horse with an eye for style. Which colors would you have your jockey wear?
Red and black
Red and white
Purple and green
Blue and white

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It's the day before the Preakness Stakes, that world-famous horse race held in Baltimore, Maryland, and you're simply chomping at the bit to get out there and show them what you've got. Daydreaming of your big win, you step off a curb wrong and twist your ankle. Your first thought is:
"Oh no! My fans will be so disheartened!"
"It's okay, I'll keep working and get back to where I was. Better, even!
"Oh no! I'll never have a perfect record of wins again!"
"Ugh, this is going to be all over the papers."

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What kind of movie would you like to have made about your life?
A stirring tale of national pride
An Academy Award-nominated major motion film
A Disney movie
I don't need some sensational movie; let the listings speak for themselves.

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It's been one of those days, and you put in your headphones so nobody will talk to you at the stable. What kind of music are you listening to?
Classical
Classic rock
World music
Contemporary rock

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You prefer traveling by horse, of course, but cars can be handy sometimes. What kind do you own?
A Toyota Prius
A Honda Civic
A Jeep Wrangler
A Mercedes-Benz

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What's your ideal vacation like?
Resting up, getting a nice tan, playing some tennis, enjoying fine dining
Taking a road trip with family, seeing various parts of small-town America
Adventuring in a faraway destination you've never been to, getting to know the locals
A short vacation, so as not to fall behind on work

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How many serious relationships have you had?
Very few.
A fair few.
Lots and lots and lots.
Many, all around the world.

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Which horse race are you just rearing to run?
The Agua Caliente Handicap in Tijuana, Mexico
The Pimlico Special in Baltimore, Maryland
The Belmont Stakes in Elmont, New York
The Queen Anne Stakes in Ascot, England

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As a child, what did your parents criticize you for?
Laziness
Awkward physical appearance
Mischief-making
None of the above

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Which best describes you in your schooling years?
The straight-A perfectionist
The smart, quiet kid who can't be bothered to do their homework
The kind, awkward kid who grows up to have an exciting and enviable life
The popular, attractive class clown

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Maybe your horse-sense isn't as good as you thought it was, because you lost some serious money at the tracks this week. You decide to pick up a side gig. What is it?
Chimney sweep
Sponsoring products in TV commercials
Working for a multilingual tour guide company
Working as a personal assistant to a company CEO

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You may be all about that equestrian life these days, but in another life, you were...
A famous politician
A self-made business owner
An arctic explorer
A mathematician

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You like to wind down after a long day at the tracks by reading a good book. What's your favorite genre?
Adventures and mysteries
Inspirational underdog stories
Satire pieces and biographies of influential world leaders
Nonfiction and how-to books

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In life as in horse racing, which traits are most important to you?
Empathy and open-mindedness
Perseverance and self-confidence
Power and charisma
Excellence and consistency

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What kind of name would you give your foal?
An impressive-sounding one
One that honors a family member
A name that means something cool in another language
One that honors someone who made an important contribution to your field of work

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You Got:

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