Which Historical English Town Should You Live In?

By: Zoe Samuel

Which Historical English Town Should You Live In?
Image: paul mansfield photography / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

The history of England is long and fascinating. Its oldest settlements date back many thousands of years to the neolithic age when the indigenous people of Britain built monuments like Stonehenge and Woodhenge. Most modern people think of English history starting in 1066 AD, with the Norman conquest of England, and that isn't by accident. Norman historians wanted to put their cultural stamp on England, since they, a Franco-Nordic group from across the English Channel, weren't English, so they invented a new way of looking at British history. Before 1066 AD was dubbed "Time Immemorial" and considered an ancient past when nothing particularly important happened. The truth is far more fascinating. In addition to the Anglo-Saxon settlements in England, pre-Norman England had huge settlements of Danes, and before the Anglo-Saxons there were the Romans who established several of the major cities we think of today when we imagine England.

The post-conquest England we know was subject to wars with neighbors Wales, Scotland and Ireland. It had a bloody civil war resulting in the dominance of the Tudor Dynasty, which gave England Queen Elizabeth, the British Navy, and the beginning of the colonization of the New World. It also suffered plagues and produced the spark of the Industrial Revolution. With all of this history underfoot, which historical English town should you call home? Take this quiz and find out!

Question 1 How important is it that you fit in with "regular people"?
Totally unimportant
Not all that important
Totally essential
Important but not essential

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Question 2 Where would you prefer to go on a solitary stroll?
A cemetery
Through a winding back street
Along a quay
Along the shore of a river

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Question 3 Which English film or TV show describes the way you like to imagine England?
"Being Human"
"Plunkett & Macleane"
"Sherlock"
"Saving Grace"

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Question 4 What kind of visitors would you rather come to your town?
Tourists who will never return
Local vacationers
Business travelers
Families and the elderly

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Question 5 What day out would you consider a treat?
Visiting a dungeon
Climbing the White Cliffs of Dover
Going for a bike ride along the coast
Kicking back and getting a facial

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Question 6 What would you hope your children would take away from their connection to local history?
Death comes for us all.
A little larceny is a good thing.
Work hard and make money so you can live a good life.
Take things slow, and savor the little things.

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Question 7 Which English musical act do you like the best?
Motörhead
The Streets
The Beatles
The Rolling Stones

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Question 8 What do you do to chill out?
I read sad poetry.
I wrench on my car/boat/bicycle/etc.
I go to the movies.
I sit in a steam room.

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Question 9 What's your idea of a fun, group activity you can do outside, that isn't a sport?
Worshiping the horned god
Playing hide and seek
Watching a sport being played by professionals
Sitting under a tree, sketching the surroundings

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Question 10 How often would you plan to get out of your town?
Almost never
Rarely
Frequently
Occasionally

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Question 11 Which famous English legend appeals to your sense of the place?
The Black Dog
Sir Francis Drake's Drum
Robin Hood
Legends of the will-o'-the-wisp

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Question 12 How important is it you be far from major cities?
Very important
Not very important
Totally unimportant
Fairly important

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Question 13 Which of these historical English doers do you like best?
Guy Fawkes, attempted revolutionary
Isaac Gulliver, famous smuggler
Edward Teach, AKA Blackbeard
Gnaeus Julius Agricola, Roman general who conquered much of Britain

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Question 14 What weather phenomena do you mind the least?
Heavy rains
High winds
Freezing cold weather
River flooding

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Question 15 Which English comedy act appeals to your sense of humor?
Mitchell and Webb
French and Saunders
Jimmy Carr
Monty Python

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Question 16 Which historical antagonists of England interest you most?
The Dutch
The Spanish
The Russians
The Romans

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Question 17 What sort of job environment would you prefer?
Something really eccentric, where I can dress up in a costume
A small busiiness, like a pub or a little shop
A nine to five office job
Something where I can work from home

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Question 18 Which period of English history fascinates you most?
The late Middle Ages
The 1800s
The 1700s
Pre-Norman England

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Question 19 How mainstream are your spiritual views?
Not at all mainstream!
I'm an atheist.
I'm more or less like most people.
I'm a little divergent.

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Question 20 What kind of evening entertainment would you most enjoy?
A seance
A concert with period instruments
A West End show!
A Shakespearean play

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Question 21 Which of these books about or set in England did you like best?
Atonement
Smuggling in Cornwall
The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty and Terror of Science
Jane Eyre

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Question 22 How would you prefer to get to work every day?
I would like to ride my motorcycle to work.
I'd like to walk to work.
I would love to drive to work.
I'd rather ride a bus to work.

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Question 23 Which of these smells is your cup of tea?
Bluebells
The sea
Exhaust
Soap

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Question 24 Which style of dress would you be happy to live with, day to day?
Goth
Ready for bad weather
Business casual
Tweed

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Question 25 Where would you like to go on a day trip?
The Lake District
London
Wales
Stonehenge

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Question 26 Which period of English architecture do you like best?
1600s
1500s
20th/21st century
1800s

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Question 27 What kind of solo entertainer would you most want to see perform?
A contortionist
A pickpocket
A singer
A dancer

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Question 28 How do you feel about the morality of past generations?
They were simpler times back then.
Morality is relative to the society in which we live.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Sometimes humanity did a lot better than others.

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Question 29 What's your philosophy about the past's connection to the present?
I believe time is an illusion.
Our connection to the past is the reason for why things are as they are.
Without the past's foundation, we'd have nothing to build on today.
Just because something is in the past doesn't mean that it was a bad idea.

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Question 30 Which of these maladies do you find least unpleasant to contemplate on a regular basis?
Plague
Wounds from battle
Scurvy
Lead poisoning

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You Got:

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