Which La Liga Team Would You Play For?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Which La Liga Team Would You Play For?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

With the ratings success of the 2018 World Cup across the globe, it's clear that soccer has never been more popular. Truly, it's a marvelous sport, and that's not just because it has a place for you even if your only real skill is throwing yourself on the ground in the vicinity of another person and then screaming and grabbing your knee while falsely claiming that they kicked you (folks who do this: you know who you are!). 

No, soccer is also one of the most democratic of sports. If you have $9.99 to spend on a ball, and an open space to play in, you can play. You don't need to be good with your hands - in fact, most positions barely even require you to have working hands. You don't need to be especially fast or talented. As long as you're up for it and willing to mark another player, you can be valuable to your team.

That means an awful lot of people love soccer, and no group more so than Europeans, especially the British, Italians, and Spanish. These are the top three leagues on the planet, attracting players who generally play for their countries when the World Cup rolls around. The Spanish league is our focus today: La Liga, where some of the world's most talented footballers (as they call themselves) can be seen making magic. Which of its teams would suit you?

Do you love the hustle of a big city?
Yes, quite a bit.
Love it? I need it!
Not really.
I hate it.

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How important is your team winning?
Very.
It's the only thing.
It's not unimportant.
It only matters if we win clean.

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Would you rather be the biggest fish in the smaller pond?
No, I want to be with the best.
I prefer to be a big fish in the biggest pond.
Sounds good!
I don't feel strongly.

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Do you intend to stay for a long time?
Yes, please.
It depends if Juventus wants me.
Probably not.
Forever actually.

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How important is it to make silly money?
Very.
Extremely.
Somewhat.
Not at all.

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Would you prefer to transfer in or come via the farm system?
Either.
Transfer for a lot of money.
Transfer for sane money.
Farm system.

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Do you feel like an outsider?
In my way.
No.
Once in a while.
Totally.

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Do you want to live near the seat of power?
Depends whose seat!
Yes, please.
I prefer not.
Definitely not, no.

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Are you a contrarian?
I sure can be.
No.
Not really.
Only for good reason.

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Do you speak Catalan?
Yes.
No, and nobody should.
A little.
No, but I pick things up fast.

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Do you love the beach?
Yes.
No.
It's OK.
I hate it!

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How do you feel about mountains?
They're fine.
I don't like the outdoors.
I like them a lot!
I adore them!

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Does small town life suit you?
No, I would be bored.
No, I would die.
Kinda, yeah.
Definitely, yes.

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Do you need to know there are tapas available 24/7?
I prefer that, yes.
I need that, yes.
I would like it but I can handle not having it.
Who needs 3 a.m. tapas?

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How important is being with a storied team to you?
It's very, very important.
It's pretty important.
It's a smidge important.
It's not important.

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Do you love unusual architecture?
I adore it!
I like a mix.
I like traditional stuff.
I like cute rural stuff.

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What sort of home do you want to live in?
Snazzy mansion.
Massive loft.
Townhouse.
Country villa.

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Will you be raising kids in the area?
Yes, two.
Probably not.
Yes, many.
Not yet!

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What sort of job opportunity should the area offer for your spouse?
The arts.
Industry.
Academics.
They're flexible.

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What color looks best on you?
Red and blue
White
Yellow
Red and white

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Where would you like to have a vacation home?
Majorca
Marbella
Ibiza
France

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Would you learn another language to communicate with some of your teammates?
Sure, various local ones.
No, they can learn Spanish.
Yes, Arabic, please!
Sure, Basque is fine.

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Will you stay in football once you retire as a player?
No, I will become an actor.
Yes, I will go into management.
No, I will do something totally unrelated.
Yes, I will be a teacher.

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Do you mind a high cost of living?
I can deal.
I prefer it, keeps the riffraff away.
I do not like that.
I hate that.

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How big a stadium is too big?
Over 50,000
No size is too big
Over 20,000
Over 10,000

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To which big star player would you like to be compared?
Neymar, baby!
Cristiano Ronaldo
Cedric Bakambu
Artiz Aduriz

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Which national team do you intend to play for?
Catalonia (eventually)
Spain
Croatia
Nigeria

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Who do you want to work for?
The fans!
Socios!
Fernando Roig Alfonso
The people!

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What do you want your nickname to evoke?
Barca
Whites
Yellow Submarine
Lions

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Do you want to live in a city you might live in even if there wasn't any football in it?
Definitely
Probably
Doubtful
No

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You Got:

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