Which Marvel Villain Is Your Drill Sergeant?

By: Zoe Samuel

Which Marvel Villain Is Your Drill Sergeant?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

If you want to serve your country, you're in good company. Every year, thousands of Americans sign up for basic training and schlep themselves off to a military base. There, they go through weeks of drilling, lectures, and lessons. The goal of this process is partly to weed out the weaklings.

The military doesn't want people in its ranks who are going to snap whenever things get difficult. They have to put trainees through what can be really intense and borderline abusive instruction to sort the wheat from the chaff. That's part of the purpose behind "Hell Week," a period of almost zero sleep and an awful lot of yelling, marching, and trying to do things properly while exhausted and discombobulated.

However, the process also has another, equally important goal: they want to make those who survive to the end to take their oath into the very best soldiers they can be. That means they have to be physically and mentally tough. They have to be at peak physical fitness, able to perform dozens of push-ups, multiple pull-ups, and get over that gnarly six-foot wall with its total lack of anything to hold onto.

Who's going to get you there? Your drill sergeant. So tell us about them, and we'll see who they really are under all that khaki.

What time do they wake you up?
It changes daily
5 a.m. every day
6 a.m.
They expect us to wake up on our own.

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How do they express disappointment?
It varies
Stony cold; it's scary
Clearly and precisely
Shouting

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What's their favorite punishment?
Something tailored to each of our fears
Physical training
Cleaning
Demerits

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Can they follow orders?
I doubt it
Yes, definitely
Reluctantly yes
If they respect the person who gave them

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Do you fear them?
Yes, deeply
Yes, but I respect them more
I feel like I should fear them more than I do
Yes, but I trust them too

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Do they inspire you?
In a perverse way, yes
No
Yes, to follow them
Yes, to be like them

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What's the ratio of carrot to stick?
50/50
90% stick
80% carrot
60% stick

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Can they give orders?
Not without smirking
Yes, with inevitability
Yes, with charisma
Yes, with fierceness

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Be honest: are they even qualified?
No
Totally
More than qualified
I think so

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Do you feel like they know what you're going through because they went through it too?
No
I'm not sure
Mostly
Absolutely

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Could they get over that 6' wall unaided?
Yes, they make it look easy
Yes, but you see the effort
I don't know
Yes, it's amazing how fast they are

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Do you think they'd pass a drug test?
No
Definitely
Probably
I think so

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Do they enjoy Hell Week just a little too much?
Definitely
No, they have no feelings about it
No, they seem to dislike it
Once or twice, perhaps

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Would you trust them with your life?
No
Yes
And then some
I didn't think so, but they won me over

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Do you think they really care about you?
No
They care about the mission, and thus me
Absolutely
They reciprocate loyalty

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Do they have leadership qualities?
Sometimes - they're smart at least
Not at a senior level as they have no vision
Yes, they are inspiring
Yes, they are determined, but they are too hotheaded

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Do you think they're doing the paperwork properly?
LOL no
They do it all by the book
I think they have a person for that
Probably

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Do they know when to turn a blind eye?
Yes, that's their best quality
No, it's annoying
I think so
Sadly no, they blame higher-ups for that

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Do they look good in a uniform?
Oh, yes
No, they look weird
They look suited to it
They would look good in anything

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Are you relieved you got them and not that guy from Full Metal Jacket?
I'd prefer him
Yes, they are more reasonable
Yes, they are better than him
Yes, they are nicer to look at

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How many push-ups can they do?
100
All of them
Like 5?
50

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Are they good at any parts of the job other than the drilling?
Yes, strategy
Yes, technical stuff
Yes, the history
Yes, the fighting

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Did they ever make you clean the entire hall with a toothbrush?
Twice
No
They have more vision in their punishments than that
They don't think that's bad enough

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Do they make people drop out just because they can?
Yes, if they feel like it
No, they want the best to succeed
I don't think so
Yes, if they dislike you they'll sabotage you

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Are they good at shooting?
I think so
They are exactly good enough
Uncannily
Yes, they could give Chris Kyle a run for his money

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How are their knife skills?
They are good at stabbing backs
Exactly good enough
Good with a metal knife, bad with a ceramic one, for some reason
Ninja level

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What about hand-to-hand?
Surprisingly weak
Very good but predictable
Not good at all
Amazingly good, especially for their size

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Have you ever seen them drunk?
Tipsy, but not drunk
I don't think they get drunk
Once
No

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Why do you think they joined up?
On a whim
It was what was expected
To serve
Honestly? To kill people!

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How long do you think they will stay in this job?
They could quit any moment
40 years
3 years
10 years

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You Got:

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